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Edward Chaltron
253 followers -
Buckle up, I want to try something.
Buckle up, I want to try something.

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So long Google+ locations! My friends still won't share location with me.
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#Logan

It's 130 AM and I need to work in the morning, but I can't sleep. #Logan is haunting me, and only partly because of the movie itself.

There may or may not be spoilers following. I'm not planning this, I just have to get it off my chest, so be warned.

I saw Logan today. It was good from a dramatic and cinematic point of view, and filled with excellent performances all the way around. It hit a lot of themes that resonated with me in unexpected ways, but nothing that really made me stop to think anything except "yeah, I get that." And ultimately that's what took me by surprise.

I often watch content from +Comic Book Girl 19. She had a review last week of #Logan, but I'd avoided watching it because, well, I wanted to make my own judgments. You can find that review here: https://youtu.be/i4JzxAeHwjs

The takeaway was that she was disappointed, mostly in the behavior of the character himself. She ranted about the scene at the end where he woke up after the young mutants had left for their rendezvous with escape about how he should have been out there leading them, showing them the way, and protecting them.

And this is where it hit me. All the sadness and inevitability that I felt in the movie, that just seemed so natural that I felt like a spectator at the falling of dominoes, came crashing down on me.

For the briefest of moments I felt rage. Hadn't he done enough? Didn't he deserve to rest? Hadn't he lost enough yet? Haven't we all?

Let me be clear here: This is not a criticism of her reaction. This is about me coming to understand it, and the recognition that once upon a time I would have felt exactly the same.

To her credit, she continued, and I think got a glimmer of understanding from a discussion that she had with a Twitter follower (maybe it's good for something after all). I give her props for that.

Logan is at the end of his life. A long life filled with violence and loss, everything he fought and sacrificed for swept away. All he has left is Charles Xavier, the man who made him believe in something greater than himself, reduced to a raving invalid incapable of controlling his immense abilities. And he's taken on the responsibility to keep this man alive, and to keep him from harming anyone else accidentally.

I don't know that it's possible to understand the toll that takes on your soul unless you've watched a loved one slowly pass on like that. I don't wish it on anyone, because there are no good ways to lose someone. Having lost my Mother this year, this struck a chord.

After all this, suddenly he's a "parent". Not just of the young mutant Laura, but of all her friends. Except they don't really need him, they all got there without him, and they have a plan to move forward. It's hard not to believe that they'd be better off without him, because he's too broken, too tainted to go with them. That sadness and bitterness would eventually seep into them all, robbing them of their joy and hope before their time.

And that's the thing. As men, we all start young with the delusion that we're going to change the world. We begin to build: Careers, families, businesses, nations, empires. For most, a family is enough.

But what happens when you get to the point in your life that you look back at all that you've done, some things you're proud of and some not, and then you look forward and you don't see any of those thing moving ahead? The only future you see ends with your life, and maybe a dim shadow in the memories of those you knew? How can that not fill you with despair?

So Logan did what any parent will do. He gave his "children" a chance, and he did better than most because he gave them an example, but didn't saddle them with his baggage. All they will remember is his legend and his acts, and hopefully use those as their guides. And there is the hope.

Some of us will never accomplish that. Some of us spend the rest of their lives hoping for that moment that will allow us to make our lives worthwhile, but never believing that moment will come.

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I should probably let this die at some point...
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Last one. Space oddity. From orbit.

As crazy as we get as humans, never forget that we live in an age of miracles.

Good night.

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The original Nine Inch Nails version of this is one of my favorite songs.

But Johnny Cash just gives it literally a lifetime of crushing depth.

How do any of us bear the weight of our lives?

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This may be the bourbon talking, but +Haley Reinhart​ 's voice makes me want to believe in love again .

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The dance party continues

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Great movie. From back in the day, and I 've been a fan of Christian Slater ever since.

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