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Luka Sooxter
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Luka's Limericks #2
The sex blogger now known as Bert Was demanding and terribly curt I said "where's your class?" He said "up your arse" And then put his hand up my skirt.

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Luka's Limericks #1
I met a sex blogger
called Bert Who was eager to see
women squirt But in porn it's
just piss When they simulate
bliss And you wouldn’t
want that up your shirt.

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Where the fuck have you been?
It's a good question, one that remains both unasked and unanswered. I found myself back in here by chance. A random comment on Facebook led to a dormant synapse suddenly jolting back into life and firing off a brief, brilliant memory of The Improbable Adven...

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Smooth
As any woman with an online presence will know, there are times when you receive messages from men who have clearly handed over editorial control to their gonads. Such communications vary in quality, from the obvious, but forthright "I really want to fuck y...

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Gothic Tendencies
I have them. I can't always indulge them, of course. I am a mature woman with a responsible job and I need to project a professional image. At work I may wear a skull print scarf or some subtle spider earrings to satisfy my inner Morticia but am otherwise u...

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Crushed
When I was a starry-eyed teenager, wrestling daily with the emotional demands of unstable hormones, mysterious passions and unrequited love, I longed for the day when everything would settle down, the storm would pass and I would be sailing serenely on the ...

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Who to follow
Twitter likes to make suggestions as to who I might like to follow, given my eclectic mix of oddballs I choose to socialise with online. I look at their proffered list and am grateful they are not a dating site trying to find me potential suitors,  for they...

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Agony
Dear Luka I am in turmoil I am lost and I'm confused and need your help Oh Luka It makes my blood boil It makes me whinge and whine and positively yelp Dear Luka I'm on the rebound And I thought that you might help me to forget Hey Luka Look at what I found...
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