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Tim Eicher
Attended Princeton
Lives in Washington, DC
28 followers|14,190 views
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Tim Eicher

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I won candy on the #googlebirthday doodle! Score: 134
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Tim Eicher

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From the website: The Pillow Tie was invented because "most functions that require a tie deserv..(Read...)
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Tim Eicher

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Bill Gross originally shared:
 
World's Funniest Analogies.

I practically cried laughing so hard reading some of these.

Annual English Teachers' awards for best student metaphors/analogies
found in actual student papers:


His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East
River.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George,
this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up
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Tim Eicher

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So all I have to share is pictures of my dog and my kid. I should just go back to Facebook, right?
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Suzanne Halekas's profile photoTim Eicher's profile photoClay Yount's profile photo
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Technically, you should name it "people who enjoy fart jokes"... You can just go ahead and put me in the "pedantic nerds" circle... Put me down for fart jokes too. 
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Tim Eicher

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"This is another example of society engaging in potentially costly signaling just to show each other that we care."
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People
In his circles
38 people
Have him in circles
28 people
Shelly Hartsook's profile photo
James Kennedy's profile photo
Greg Harries's profile photo
Suzanne Halekas's profile photo
Andrew Dietrich's profile photo
Kelly LeTard's profile photo
Courtenay Rucker's profile photo
Noah Fortinsky's profile photo
Abbi Crutchfield's profile photo
Work
Occupation
attorney
Employment
  • attorney, present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Washington, DC
Previously
Silver Spring, MD - Warrenton, VA - Mount Airy, MD - Newtown, PA
Links
YouTube
Contributor to
Story
Tagline
Everybody's clever nowadays.
Bragging rights
My backside appeared in 2 episodes of "One Life to Live."
Education
  • Princeton
    Classics, 2000 - 2004
  • Georgetown University Law Center
    2004 - 2007
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Gender
Male