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Cynthia Fassett

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☕ you won't view coffee the same way . . .

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Just read this toothy little thing:

"“For money you can have everything it is said. No, that is not true. You can buy food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; soft beds, but not sleep; knowledge but not intelligence; glitter, but not comfort; fun, but not pleasure; acquaintances, but not friendship; servants, but not faithfulness; grey hair, but not honor; quiet days, but not peace. The shell of all things you can get for money. But not the kernel. That cannot be had for money.”

Arne Garborg

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for 简予     The garden whispers of a little tree and a wandering cloud. In autumn, the little tree removes her coat. As it falls to land, a wandering cloud can, for a fleeting moment glide in the warmth of its lining, drawing in a deep breath such abiding…
The Little Tree
The Little Tree

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Light like life
Light like life

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plural noun: hopes
1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
synonyms: aspiration, desire, wish, expectation, ambition, aim, goal, plan, design;
dream, daydream, pipe dream
hopefulness, optimism, expectation, expectancy;
confidence, faith, trust, belief, conviction, assurance;
promise, possibility
antonyms: pessimism
2. a feeling of trust.
1. want something to happen or be the case.


Last night, before drifting off into sleep mode, I was thinking about Hope. I'm aware of an attitude toward Hope that has taken hold in recent years with folks believing that Hope isn't necessarily a good thing to have with some even saying we need to abandon Hope all together, or suffer from idealism. While I understand why folks are so hell bent on attacking a concept like Hope, I don't think the actual practice of smashing hopes is a good thing. And I think...folks are doing what they always do, and have pretty much always done when they don't fully understand something - that is, instead of reaching for understanding, they attack it, or seek its destruction.

And seeking the destruction of Hope in people, and even in ourselves, is really nothing new - it's just gotten more verbal in recent years, with folks treating it almost like a campaign. You have your Anti-Hope peeps on one side vs. the Pro-Hope peeps on the other. (There's that separation thing again, with folks taking sides).

I understand why people have an issue with Hope. They consider that Hope leads to disappointment, and is a form of expectation - which apparently, in today's world, is now considered a bad thing. And that always true? There's a dangerous element here they haven't considered, (or haven't fully reached to understand). Sure, there is the risk of being disappointed, but that doesn't mean don't try. And that's how folks are treating Hope - their own relationship with Hope in themselves - saying in essence, "Fuck it. Why bother?" Guess where that kind of attitude leads? I know where it led me...and that was straight to the pit of despair.

My answer now to "why bother?" Just because. Why not try? So you might suffer some disappointment. You'll eventually get over it. Maybe even gain some wisdom in the process! No emotion lasts forever, with them being so fluid and all. Yes, disappointment is uncomfortable, but to avoid trying at all, and just maybe manifesting with the attempt, any hope you might have tucked within your heart just because you might experience disappointment is, in my humble opinion, no way to live, and an avoidance, once again, of pain before you even know if pain will be what you'll experience. When really, honestly, you_don't_know what will happen once you take that initial step. It's like the quote I shared yesterday by Beatrix Potter, "'There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you." The same goes for taking that first trembling step into manifesting a hope, a vision, a dream.
Ya see, it's that fixation on outcomes we all have that can be an issue, not Hope. We don't keep our mind open to other possibilities stepping in and taking form and shape. Nor do we take into account the hopes and dreams of the countless others who are with us in this Uber Grand Story of Life. No, we think we must strictly adhere to the blueprint of our initial hope, or vision, and if it doesn't happen or manifest precisely like that in the time frame we've given it, well then, fuck it - ALL is lost! (Which is rather dramatic, isn't it?)

Any builder of buildings worth his salt will tell you that, yes, they'll work from an original blueprint, but once they've started - once they've begun bringing that unseen vision to the seen ground - that during the process of building something, it doesn't always go quite the way it should. In fact, any experienced builder will expect it. I mean, yeah, it looks good, and is perfect on paper! But that's not what's happening on the ground. So they must be flexible, open to other ways of going about it, and in the end, the building that eventually stands there on the ground will most likely be altered in some way from the original blueprint. Or, during the process of trying to build it, they'll come to the disappointing realization that it can't be done - for whatever reason - and move on.

Another side effect of smashing Hope in oneself, (which leads to smashing it in others - because yeah, our relationship with others is our relationship with self), is the eventual suffering from cynicism. And we all know the world is now chock full of cynical people. Isn't that sad? Oh, they themselves don't think it's sad. They think they're being smart, and are much more grounded in reality than all the rest of those silly folks who still cling to their hopes. I don't think those folks know that their very cynicism can work to smash the hopes of others. And worse, are those folks who play on the hopes of others, considering them to be an easy mark to take advantage of. What do those folks who have had their hopes taken advantage of do as a solution? Kill their own hopes, now considering them as a weakness. Kind of like what the popular solution is for loving, caring, and giving - to avoid being taken advantage of, or being betrayed, and to avoid the pain of it all, let's do away with hope, loving, caring and giving! And 'round and 'round we go, creating a vicious circle that leads nowhere but to destruction.

Recently, I wrote a post on FB about how I suffered from major disappointment and grief (and am still not quite over it) in not being able to make it to the births of my two grandchildren. Anyone who knows me also knows how I tried to make it there both times. Oh...I tried. Believe me, I did everything I could think of to get myself there. I had that vision, that hope of being there from the time I met my grandson in a dream, before he'd even been conceived. I knew of his coming into the world. Why wouldn't I have the hope of being present when he arrived? Of course I did! Did it work out? No. And it devastated me. Know why? Because I'd given it my all. The measure of the disappointment I suffered was precisely equal to the hope I had of being there, and the effort I put into doing, manifesting just that.

And if I had it to do over again, I'd do it again. I'd try with everything I had in me, with any and all resources available to me to get there. Even with the possibility of failure, (and that possibility always exists), I'd try again. Know why? Because it was fucking worth it. It mattered to me. And it mattered to my daughter. And the fact that she_knows_I_did_everything in my power to be there (twice) matters. Do I understand why it didn't work out? No. Who the hell knows? It just didn't. But not for the lack of trying, it didn't. Not for the lack of trying. There are forces at work I don't understand, and probably never will. I'm okay with that.

So I'll sit in this disappointment and this grief, (seeing it as the price I was more than willing to pay for my great effort of love), and ride it out until it's no more. I am better, and it acts a bit like backward contractions, with some waves of pain stronger than others, but the time and distance between waves is slowly becoming greater, with having more days of being okay with it all than not.

I guess I'm asking something here in this post - to please think twice before smashing the hope that anyone might have in their heart, (including your own). Hope, to me, is like a seed planted deep in the dark Earth, (where it is unseen). For a time, it requires the deeply silent, but nourishing elements of the Earth, (just like a baby in a mother's womb), to first break open through its hard shell, then begin to form, and then push its way to the surface level of existence, (where it then becomes seen, but not yet fully realized until it grows up or matures). Sometimes, it doesn't work out. Sometimes it does...and all the variations had in between. But that is no reason to give up on Hope, or seek to destroy it.

In essence, please be kind.


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eyes shut I sense closeness and a warmth and this witches pet, breath winged and taloned and swift, this ember glowing in and out with world —promise stirs the air which curls the tiny hairs that line my ears and then softness, a bit of pressure,…
A Kiss in The Fifth Chamber
A Kiss in The Fifth Chamber

'To win the secret of words, to make a phrase that will murmur of summer and the bee, to summon the wind into a sentence, to conjure the odour of night into the surge and fall and harmony of a line; this was the tale of the long evenings, of the candle flame white upon the paper and the eager pen.'
Arthur Machen, Hill of Dreams

"There are those, however, that are not frightened of grief: dropping deep into the sorrow, they find therein a necessary elixir to the numbness. When they encounter one another, when they press their foreheads against the bark of a centuries-old tree...their eyes well with tears that fall easily to the ground. The soil needs this water. Grief is but a gate, and our tears a kind of key opening a place of wonder thats been locked away. Suddenly we notice a sustaining resonance between the drumming heart within our chest and the pulse rising from the ground"
~ David Abram

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After Banksy: the parkour guide to Gaza | Guardian Docs ►

In response to graffiti artist Banksy's Make this the Year YOU Discover a New Destination Gaza tourist video, the Gaza Parkour team show us what real life is like there and their dreams beyond the border.
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To the sounds of Palestine's biggest female hip-hop artist, Shadia Mansour, join Abdallah AlQassab and the rest of the free-running team as they flip, somersault and leap their way round the ruined city.

#gaza   #parkour   #palestine   #gazaparkour  
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