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The Unlikely  Last Season of NCIS

(This is rather dated, but it's something I wrote when I used to be on zuckerbook.)

• Fornell admits that NCIS is actually his creation, an attempt at a believable honey pot that would attract all manner of enemy, subverters, and espionage agents.
• Abby quits NCIS to become DC Sales manager for Caf-Pow! Following grand success in marketing, she becomes CEO and Chairman of the Eternal Comfort Adjustable Casket and Bed Company.
• Jimmy Palmer is videotaped in mid-necrophilia, and is forced to resign.
• Director Vance resigns to embark on a new career as a stand-up comedian.
• Jenny Shepherd is found alive in Mexico, using Mike Franks as her love slave.
• Gibbs resigns to take over his father's (Jackson Gibb's) general store in Stillwater, PA. When the store fails after a Walmart opens in the area, Gibbs converts the store into the first-ever Navy (sans-Army) Surplus Store. He chose the latter category to achieve funding from Donald Bellisario. It is such a success that he later becomes chairman of Belisarius Productions.
• Ziva and Tony marry, but Tony dies due to complications following adult circumcision. Ziva, moved by this turn of events, and ever the optimist, returns to Israel to attempt rapprochement with the Palestinians. Against all odds she is successful, and eventually convinces both Israel and Palestine to become the 51st and 52nd states of the US. Needless to say, the Navy opens bases in both states with accompanying NCIS offices. Also, the US constitution is amended to allow any state to bar the sale of pork products.
• After all these defections, McGee becomes director of NCIS, figures out that the (now dead) Fornell was using NCIS as honeypot, and redirects NCIS to actually investigate crimes committed in or against the Navy!
• The show is now so boring that it's cancelled. However, just before it's over, Gibbs, now head of Bellesarius Productions, segways from "NCIS" to "NSSA -- Navy Surplus Store Adventures". Guest characters include: Magnum, Higgins, Pappy Boyington, Harm Rabb, Mac McKenzie, McGee, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and, of course, Ziva, who is now governor of Israel and the recipient of the Noble Peace Prize.

Despite the sarcasm, above, it must be clear that I am a big fan,
otherwise, I wouldn't know so much about the characters.
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