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Tracy Tennant
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Getting real. Taking you behind-the-scenes to engage you in life on the front lines of family, faith, and motherhood.
Getting real. Taking you behind-the-scenes to engage you in life on the front lines of family, faith, and motherhood.

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Tracy Tennant's posts

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I was thoroughly inspired by the message in this video by Marcus Cunningham on finding and developing your strengths! He explains the differences between skills and strengths; just because you do something well doesn't mean it's a strength if don't enjoy doing it. Sometimes we're really good at things we don't necessarily like doing. Conversely, sometimes we aren't very good at things we LOVE doing (as Marcus jokes in one of his presentations, "we call those hobbies"). Why not build on our strengths once we discover them and spend more time making them stronger than on trying to excel in areas where we're weak?

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In the concluding chapter to "Mormonism, the Matrix, and Me," Tracy explains what it's like for Mormons who find out the foundation they've built their lives upon is shifting sand, and offers a heart-felt apology to LDS friends and loved ones who were hurt by her insensitive words and actions when she left the Church. She dispels rumors about why she left Mormonism, and details what happened to her marriage, family, and spiritual walk.

Mormonism, the Matrix, and Me by Tracy Tennant is available in paperback and eBook formats online through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other booksellers.

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The Apostle Paul wrote, "If possible, and to the extent that it depends on you, live in peace with all people." Tracy discusses the importance of transparency and patience with loved ones as you make the transistion out of Mormonism. In the words of leadership expert Simon Sinek, "Good leaders make you feel safe." When your active LDS family members feel safe around you, remarkable things can happen. In the conclusion of this series, you will be encouraged to know that God is FOR you, not against you, as you go through the process of leaving the Church. The basis for the series on Leaving Mormonism is the Kindle book, "Confessions of an ex-Mormon: What I Wish I Knew When I Left the Church" (available on Amazon).

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The emotional challenges of leaving Mormonism include living with fear and regret and isolating oneself from others. Tracy discusses how to overcome these negative emotions and move toward recovery.

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Active Mormons sometimes think that people who leave the Church are trading Mormonism for hedonism; in other words, they leave for the purpose of living a life of debauchery. Nothing could be further from the truth, yet that is a common misperception. Tracy discusses how flaunting our newly acquired vices (coffee, tea, Mike's Hard Lemonade, and fishnet stockings) impact our LDS family and friends (or ex-friends).

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Of all the mistakes made when someone leaves the Church, forgetting tact and sensitivity is one of the biggest. In this segment of "Leaving Mormonism," Tracy talks about the harm done to relationships when we disrespect the beliefs of our LDS family and friends by using sarcasm, inappropriate humor, and arguing. As Oliver Wendell Holmes advised, "Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become."

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How will my spouse and kids react when I tell them I no longer believe? What will my Mormon relatives and friends say? How should I respond to ward members? These are some of the questions Mormons ask as they begin the process of leaving the Church. In this episode, Tracy talks about how it feels for individuals leaving Mormonism, some of the reactions they can expect from others, and what their loved ones might be feeling.

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Tracy and four of her sons take a five-week long cross-country trip, staying at the homes of ex-Mormons along the way. Scott and the rest of the kids rendezvous with them in Utah for the Crookston family reunion. By the end of their extraordinary adventure, three of Tracy's teenagers reject Mormonism. Of her remaining LDS adult sons, one leaves on a mission for the Church and the other comes to faith in the Biblical Jesus while in rehab. Yet, with all the miracles taking place, Tracy and Scott take a surprising step.

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LDS relatives and friends argue that Tracy left the Church for attention, or because the standards were too hard to keep, or because she never had a testimony to begin with. Her visiting teachers bombard her with pro-Mormon material and Tracy shares her written Exit Story (reasons for leaving the Church) with them in response. After being "prompted by the Spirit," Bishop Lytle decides to convene a disciplinary court on Tracy for charges of apostasy. After being threatened with a lawsuit, the Bishop is prompted by the Spirit to cancel the proceedings.

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Tracy and Scott begin a weekly study with their home-teacher, an attorney, to investigate the problems of Mormonism and, if possible, substantiate its truth claims. They are sadly disappointed at Brother Ellis' lackluster efforts to research and find the truth. The home-teacher acts more like a defense attorney for the Church than a bulldog detective determined to get to the bottom of things. Scott asks to be released from all his church callings.
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