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Brad Dunagan
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Prior to her holiday in TEXAS, Gretchen, a blonde from England, confided to her girl friends she had three goals for her trip to Cowboy country;

1. She wanted to taste some real western Bar-B-Que.
2. She wanted to take in a bona fide rodeo ... and
3. She wanted to have sex with a local cowboy.

Upon returning, the girls were curious as to how she fared.

'Let me tell you, they have Texas beef to die for, and when they bar-b-q it, the taste is unbelievable!'

'And I went to a real rodeo. Talk about athletes ... those guys wrestle full grown bulls! It's just incredible!'

Then came the big question, 'Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?'

'No -- did not. When I saw the size of the condoms they carry in their pockets I changed my mind!'
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1/30/17
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Prayer of Thanksgiving
I am thankful when I can take a deep breath and feel the air as it feels my lungs. Just to breathe is enough for us to always be happy, to enjoy life. I am thankful to be alive.
Lord help us today to be more like you are, to love life, to be life, and to be love. We lack nothing.
Help us to love the way we should, with no conditions, no expectations, no obligations, and without judgement.
Help us to love and be thankful for the people closest to us, especially those who live around us--all our family and friends who we try so hard to love. Because when we reject them, we reject ourselves, and when we reject ourselves, we reject You.
I am thankful.
Amen

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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"

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