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Jake Feltham
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Session 4: Compassionate Throat Slitting
Date: 2/11/17
In-world date: 4/23 through 4/30

Characters (Party Name B.I.F. (Brutal Ignorant Force):
Belinda the Bony: _'s fighter. Scrawny and scarred and now corpsified. RIP.
Lilith the Veteran: _'s fighter. Blessed by Tyche. Wooden leg and a crushed larynx, swinging a flail and holding onto two hit points for dear life.
Ostentatious the Zealot: _'s magic-user, less one eye and a leg from the knee down. An armful of scrolls and a sleep spell. Now second level!!!
Fang the Fighter: _'s fighter, specializing in opening doors and caution. Friend of the working man, quick with a pun. .
Gobberista the Goblin: _'s goblin. People say they saw Gobberista but maybe it was just a trick of the light?

RIP: Belinda the Bony! Her last words were “this is insane!”. Then a whole bunch of giant rats ate her right up.
Also, anonymous shepherd boy, moments before the party entered Dwimmermount. Poor kid should have stuck to his mutton & mushrooms.

Monsters Killed:
• 12 giant rats. Second time was the charm.
• 4 Eldritch Bones

• The whole treasure vault in the Chapel of Mavors on level one. Coins and gems worth a total of 760 gold pieces, plus a bejeweled scarab that nobody's looked at too closely.
• Treasure NOT recovered: an absurdly huge haul clutched in the dead hands of Anonymous Shepherd Boy. But Westley, what about the R.O.U.Ss?

Notable Discoveries/Events:
• Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they- AHHHHHH
• Almost a Total Party Kill in the entryway in a fight of 12 rats versus 4 PCs, a hireling and a war dog. When the party retreated, Belinda was dead, Ostentatious had had his eye gnawed out, leg gnawed off and was bleeding out, and Fang was at zero hit points. Thank goodness for Lilith! After cauterizing various body parts and waiting for Fang to come to after his adrenaline-related faint, the party went back to Muntburg to rest up.
• While they were in town, the Crimson Band, a rival adventuring group, returned with a huge amount of treasure that they just found in the first room. Our heroes hate the Crimson Band. Most insultingly, the treasure included a platinum peg-leg. Oh and also the Dancing Sword- Freaks & Geeks anyone?
• Returning to the dungeon after resting up, the party used Sleep to knock out the rats, who had wandered into their path. Then they gouged out their eyes (Ostentatious) or slit their throats compassionately.
• Plundered the secret treasure vault in the Temple of Mavors.
• Lilith reacquainted the marble head of Tyche with her marble statue in the entrance chamber and got a little blessing from the goddess of fortune, prosperity and destiny.
• I instituted a new rule of allowing magic-users to make a scroll for 100gp in a week, and Ostentatious made like four.

Takeaways for next time:
• Hmm this was kind of a low-impact delve, weirdly. The party looted the treasure vault that they learned about and then had to give up on a couple of sessions before, so that’s something to celebrate.
• The Crimson Band has grand political/military ambitions and a shit ton of treasure. Is B.I.F. above some extra-dungeon murder and theft? I honestly don’t know.
• The Captain of the Guard at Muntburg is having the chief mason (buddy of Fang) shore up the defenses. He sounds paranoid- but is it really paranoia when you live next to a monster-filled hellhole?
• Shields Shall Be Splintered is a hugely impactful house rule and we should all try to remember it. Those whose shields have been splintered should buy new ones next time.
• Other than that, all of the lose ends remain, including:
⁃ The Pool of Life is presumably still in operation on Level 2, churning out gnolls.
⁃ The party found a treasure map a couple of sessions ago but I didn’t bring that up because I haven’t made it yet. I’ll try and get on that.
⁃ Oh and they do have a complete map of level one that they found on that dead dwarf last time, and they can see the layout of the caves where the kobolds are and the second set of stairs down…

And I think that’s about it! This was kind of a weird game, what with the disastrous fight in the entrance followed by a week of resting up.

Session 3: Fear and Gnolling in Level 2

Date: 1/14/16

Belinda the Bony: _'s fighter. 
Lilith the Veteran: _’s fighter. 
Ostentatious the Neophyte. _s magic-user. 
Gobberista the Goblin: _’s goblin. 

RIP: no deaths this week! Not even hirelings! So let’s take a moment to remember Brother Lukas, whose corpse the party found on the stairway to level 2. He died as he lived, charging into danger and scarfing toxic fungi. 

Monsters killed: 
• big ol’ crab spider
• five orcs that were guarding the entrance to level 2. Ostentatious magic’d them all to sleep and then slit their throats. 
• a handful of gnolls, during a sprawling melee that’s eventually fled. 

• Hmm. Well one of the gnolls had a santa sack full of treasure but the party weren’t able to get at it, just grabbed a couple of gold pieces that fell out of a rip. 
• Other than that, they found a wine flask on a dead dwarf that has what looks to be a dungeon map tooled into the leather. They only figured that out at the end of the session though so it hasn’t yet been really explored.
• Oh and also they found a treasure map! to a different dungeon. Details forthcoming but it purports to lead to a pretty damn big horde (like 20,000 gold pieces). 

Notable Discoveries/Events:
• Found a timeless room, where the ravages of time won’t touch you. There’s gotta be a good use for that right?
• The party started exploring Level 2 of the dungeon! They grow up so fast.
• Found an orrery of the planet/nearby planets. Pretty clear fuel cannister/battery hatch that had an empty lead crystal cylinder. Does not run on wine, it turns out. They haven’t yet tried other fuel sources.
• Found a staircase down to the third level behind a secret door! But it was guarded by a bunch of shadows and they ran away fast. 
• Exposition! Turns out this human magic-user, Varaxes, has been using the Pool of Life to create the Orcs and Gnolls, but a bunch of the Orcs betrayed him/stopped serving him in his quest to conquer the dungeon, so now the gnolls are looking for vengeance. The party negotiated for a bit with the gnolls, but it wasn’t going anywhere productive so a  fight ensued. They chose a good place for a the battle with a couple of plate-armored fighters holding a narrow spot, and eventually pushed the knolls to retreat. The monsters retreated through a couple of rooms and then down some stairs into… the pool of life! Where they joined up with Varaxes and knoll reinforcements. The party waded in despite heavy-handed Dungeon Master warnings, but they actually did pretty well until the magic-user shot a bunch of them with a Wand of Fear, which lead to the whole group running out of the dungeon. 

Dungeon Bingo Winners:
This is a new game where people win when they guess the name of the room in the book. 
_ wins for “Timeless Room”
_ wins for “The Sandpit”

Takeaways for next time:
• Well, they found the Pool of Life, which they were trying to destroy. So, they know where it is and more or less how it’s defended, which is a good start.
• Ostentatious is ducking the law by hiding out with the cute shepherds of the Winter Peaks and their Mountain Goats. Someone with better knowledge of the mountain goats can make some references. Best Ever Death Metal Band out of Muntberg? 
• Oh and they hid but heard a party of human adventurers talking about slaughtering kobolds for the glory of the god Typhon. Maybe we’ll see how that turned out for them. 

Session 2: B.I.F.

Characters, known collectively as B.I.F. (Brutal Ignorant Force)
Belinda the Bony Veteran: _’s fighter. Scrawny and now scarred, and wielding a two-handed sword. Grr!
Lilith the Veteran: _’s fighter. Wooden leg and a crushed larynx, swinging a flail and holding onto two hit points for dear life. 
Gobberista: _’s goblin. Throwing knives and saving the day.
Ostentatious the Neophyte: _’s magic-user. Carrying a ten-foot ladder and wading into hand-to-hand combat despite having literally no armor and only a dagger to fight with.

Deaths: RIP Tommen the mercenary. Got the life drained out of him by a wight. Everyone else ran very fast. 

Monsters: like thirteen orcs defeated and a couple of eldritch bones, these magic-imbued skeletons.

Treasure: a thousand gold pieces carried by an orc.
A bunch of Thulian War Masks, these metal demonic masks that you clip on to your helmet to freak out your enemies. Everyone in BIF is wearing one. 

New information/developments: 
• Found a metal face that will answer a question a day. They asked it where to find the most treasure on the level, and it told them that there was a secret treasure room behind the altar in the temple of Terms Termax in his guise as Mavors, god of war. They found that temple but it was guarded by six eldritch bones and after the party was down to a total of zero hit points (good rolls on the death and dismemberment table) they ran before looting it.
• Found a no-longer-locked pile of treasure that a wight is sitting on. It’s immune to non-magical weapons, so they ran after it level-drained Tommen to death. 
• Found some dead dwarves…
• Ostentatious got locked up after a misunderstanding while carousing back in Muntburg. She talked the castellan into letting her out on the condition that she take on a special mission for him- destroying the Pool of Life on level two, which he believes is being used to crank out new orcs and such. It was either that or somehow pay 6,000 gold pieces in fines, bribes and so on. 

And I think that’s about it! It was kind of grindy, combat-heavy game, with a couple of big fights against large groups of orcs, plus that last fight against the eldritch bones. 

I started running a Dwimmermount campaign in November, but because the players and I are all lawyers and law students and have young kids, we've only had three sessions so far. I thought I'd post the session recaps so far. I'd love feedback!

Session 1: A Schvitz with Kobolds

We begin with the characters:

Gobberista, heavily tattooed goblin.
Xilch, a goblin.
Ostentatious, a magic-user.
Brother Lukas, a fighter. (I didn't want to break out the Paladin rules in the first game).

Rolas, alchemist’s assistant turned enthusiastic torchbearer, an underpaid hireling.

The crew did some shopping and information gathering in the wilderness keep of Muntburg, then trudged three miles to the peak of Dwimmermount, a thoroughly excavated mountain that in the past has served as a fortress/capital/religious center/magical laboratory/gold mine (if what Brother Lukas heard was true). Oh and Rolas’s alchemist boss gave Rolas an adamantine flask and offered to pay them 50 gp/each to gather “true water” from a “moon pool” that’s supposed to be in the first level. They opened up the front door and got right to exploring.

Notable events, best as I can remember:
• Smashed a marble statue of the god Typhon. Meant as a gesture of respect. 
• Found ghosts playing a board game and arguing about rules, helped put them to rest by showing them the judge’s handbook for the game. 
• Found kind of a lot of smashed and rotted furniture
• Ran into the same bunch of 11 kobolds twice, from two different directions. 
• Decided to fight them the second time, holding the door to a room with a machine that shot jets of steam. The party was really doing very well, but then kobold reinforcements arrived and the party skiddadled and Ostentatious magically locked the door behind them.
• Found an elevator shaft that goes down hundreds of feet. Xilch rappelled down the slimy walls for two hundred feet but found… zilch. 
• Speaking of Xilch, he dropped to zero hit points when a bunch of orcs got the jump on him. He was bleeding from an artery and would have died in minutes had the party not cauterized his wounds. Now he’s scarred and uglier and couldn’t care less.
• In the same fight, the party was doing well enough (again, Brother Lukas was fighting defensively and holding a narrow passage while others took shots from behind him) that the orcs ran away. One orc was carrying a big sack like santa claus, and Ostentatious threw (his?her?their? I guess I’m not sure of anyone’s pronouns except Brother Lukas. Should be on the character sheet, probably.) throwing knife and sliced the sack as the orc ran through the door. A shit ton of gold and gems tumbled out onto the floor.
• Ostentatious found a secret door behind a tapestry, then dispelled the illusory demon that was guarding a kind of picked over treasure cache behind it. Came away with a Rod of Opening. 
• Found a big room-sized map of the region as a mosaic.
• Started to explore a system of caves but didn’t get very far before nearly getting ambushed by a huge force of kobolds, some of which had molotov cocktails, which would have made a heroic fight a lot tougher.
• And then Brother Lukas tried a locked door that happened to have a poisoned needle in the lock. He was doomed to die in like three rounds, so they quickly explored as many rooms as they could. Found a bunch of (dangerous, super acidic) yellow mold and ate some. Finally died in a suicidal charge against orcs that were guarding the entrance to the second level down. 
• Found an entrance to the second level!
• Oh and they made a map of what they’ve found so far. Could be worth selling at some point, but for now it’ll be useful planning for next time. 

Annnnd that wrapped up the dungeon crawling! They returned to Muntburg a smaller, sadder party then they left it and proceeded to spend their looted treasure, turning it into experience points. Xilch went carousing, got a bunch of experience points and also joined some kind of cult. Unfortunately he remembers nothing about it, but he does have a fresh tattoo. (goblins and tattoos huh?). Ostentatious also went carousing and nothing embarrassing happened. Ostentatious also spent some gold learning spells from a magic-user in town. There are increasingly groups of adventurers coming into town, as well as lone peasant fortune hunters, as the word gets out that Dwimmermount’s magical barriers have fallen. Get it while it’s hot!

Does anyone have a good regional map that they could share? I'm pretty dissatisfied with the quality of the map published with the dungeon, and I owe the players a regional map. 
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