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Herbert Coleman
Worked at Austin Community College
Attended University of Texas at Austin
Lives in Austin
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Herbert Coleman

commented on a video on YouTube.
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Thanks, excellent!  It interesting that people often take the comment about race being construct with no basis in biology to mean it doesn't exist and therefore isn't important.  Well they should consider that America is construct with no basis in biology as is Christianity, fascism, communism, etc.  There is far greater impact on people's lives from things having to do with social constructs than biological ones. Our daily coexistence is a myriad of social constructs that only work because we decide they should.  Thus the most damaging issues surrounding race have less to do with individual racism and far more to do with systemic practices that perpetuate inequalities.
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Herbert Coleman

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Thank you, thank you, thank you!  No digital natives as Pensky described do not really exist.  In every age there have been tech wiz kids like the 14 yr old who writes a million dollar app.  However, that is not most of those born after 1980.  Most use the technology to do what they want without understanding it or even thinking about it.  Likewise, we who saw the technology come into being are not "immigrants". Those of us who are savvy saw the potential and learned the technology through all it's revisions. We see both the power and the pitfalls because we saw what was and wasn't there before the new technology.  While those "born" into might be more comfortable as a group, they are not more knowledgeable.  To prove my point, I can use one word, "sexting".  If young people understood the technology then sexting would never happen.  They would know that sexting is the equivalent of going downtown and taking off all your clothes in the middle of the street while the evening news is capturing you and everyone has their vcrs recording. Most of those born after 1980,1990 or even 2000 may be comfortable and familiar with technology but they understand it about as much as we baby boomers understand the intricacy of in house plumbing or in home electricity. We use it, are familiar and comfortable, may in fact depend on it but most of us have only a vague idea of how it works.  Only a few of us know how to generate electricity or get water out of the ground.
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Herbert Coleman

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WARNING!  Google Plus LIES.  I installed the new Goggle Plus App on my iPad.  I specifically turned Instant Upload OFF.  It did it anyway!   I don't want to hear this crap about it being uploaded to a "private folder".  I said don't do it and it did it anyway.  JUST WRONG GOOGLE, JUST WRONG!!!!!
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Herbert Coleman, be tough:p
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Herbert Coleman

commented on a video on YouTube.
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You asked for an open discussion so I'm taking you at your word.  While I agree with not blaming the victim I also think we need to be real about the situation.  If some agrees to something, that is consent.  In many of the post I've read, the poster said she "went along with it."  I'm not sure what that means but it sounds like she had an internal conflict that she did not vocalize.  Agreeing to something,  then regretting is part of the human condition (see "buyer's remorse").  I respect the poster but if she didn't as you say, "use her words" then how is the guy suppose to know that she wasn't into it? It is unfair to your partner to expect them to read your mind or "see the signals". Remember, these were people in a dating relationship. He didn't grab her off the street, sneak into her bedroom, drug her or even threaten her.  Within the confines of the relationship (however screwed up it was) he approached her for sex and she "went along with it." She didn't voice her objections or dissatisfactions until months later in a Tumblr post. 

Once again, I am not "blaming the victim".  I am respecting her agency as a volitional human being  and saying if you don't want to do something speak up and say so.  If he then has sex with her anyway, then that is assault.  All I'm saying is please speak up.  Let you partner know what you are thinking and how you are feeling.  Use you words in the moment (not two months later online). 

The other issues in the relationship also need to be addressed but I do think it's wrong to call someone an attacker, violator or rapist when their partner consented. Either the word has meaning or it doesn't.  As Jesus said (yes, I'm bringing him into this) "...let your "yes" be yes and let your "no" be no..."
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+Malia AuParis
 While I keep hear conflicting numbers on the age thing, for this situation, I will say you are correct, they were on unequal footing.  However, let's be honest on how they got there.  He did not seek her out and capture her.  They met she admired, and they entered into a relationship that they mutually wanted.  If you say she could not know what she wanted then you infantilize her and are suggesting that 15, 16, 17 year old girls (young women) are incapable of making sound decisions.  I don't buy this not for a moment.  Yes, ALL 15, 16, 17 year olds make some bad decisions, it's called growing up.  That is part of the process.  You cannot be protected from ever making decisions (and facing consequences) and develop into a fully functioning adult. 

You still never addressed my suggestion.  If you are in a relationship, you have a responsibility to speak for yourself.  If you don't and someone takes your timid, unenthusiastic "yes" as a yes.  Then that's on you.  You cannot expect them to be a mind reader.  They are taking you at YOUR WORD. It's just not fair to say, "I know I said, yes, but I really wasn't into it and you should have known it."

Yes, I have been passive in sex (in the sense that I wasn't the initiator) but I also knew that at anytime I could have said "no", but didn't.  I also have "gone along" or as I saw it at the time "kept the faith" because it was easier and less messy than explaining to a girl that I didn't want to have sex with her; but you know what, I owned it.  i didn't blame her for my being a chicken shit.  I should have have "manned up" and said, "listen, this isn't right.  I don't love you and we aren't going be boyfriend and girlfriend later on."  I didn't because I was 17 and didn't understand everything that was going on and what it would mean later.  It was a learning experience.  You can believe that  I made sure all my future encounters were mutually desired. 

I agree with the whole consent emphasis but unlike participating in a research study, consent cannot be retroactively withdrawn. It can be rescinded, or turned into a "stop" at any time during.  However, after the fact, if you wish you hadn't then that's regret. It doesn't change that fact that you had consented.  So once again, I emphasize, if this word is to have any meaning then your "yes" has to mean yes and not "if you wanna" and your "no" needs to be a clear, no, not "whatever you think".
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Herbert Coleman

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My wife read this so we're looking forward to it.
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In his circles
103 people
Have him in circles
139 people
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Herb Coleman's profile photo
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Susan Thomason's profile photo
Jimmy Clark's profile photo
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Education
  • University of Texas at Austin
    2009
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  • Austin Community College
    Dir. Inst. Comp. & Tech/Adj. Prof. PSYC
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