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Steve Burgess
Works at Life/Comedy
Attended Michigan
Lives in Virginia Beach, VA
177 followers|35,356 views
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Steve Burgess

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British students have invented a condom that changes color when it comes into contact with sexually transmitted diseases.  The invention would be perfect to help cut down on STDs if they could warn people five minutes sooner by inventing underwear that changed color.  
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Steve Burgess

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Millennials are upset and telling Hillary Clinton that if she wants to inspire them, she should pay her interns and get them off of unemployment.  Hillary said she'd be willing to settle for something short of 'inspiration' if 'willing participation' was enough to get some front yard signs installed.
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Steve Burgess

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Following the recent events in South Carolina, Walmart, Amazon and eBay quickly proclaimed that confederate themed goods would be pulled from their stock. Sears attempted to join with in the other major retailers, but unfortunately, it wasn't 1990 and they were forced to sit in the room and wait to announce with JoAnn Fabrics.
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Steve Burgess

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KFC says tests of a viral photo of an oddly-shaped fried chicken tender was 'a hoax.' Sadly, the analysis was actually a comparative taste test at a local Korean restaurant, confirming it wasn't actually a rat.
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In a Bleacher Report interview, NY Knicks President Phil Jackson criticized the individualistic style of play of LeBron James. Jackson indicated that he longs for the days when non-athletic guys could get together in an empty gym and pass a basketball around while wearing testicle choking shorts.
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The streaming music service, Spotify, celebrated landing former Netflix executive Barry McCarthy.  McCarthy is credited with coming up with the creative practices that led to the success of Netflix, but disappointed the team with his idea to relaunch Spotify by sending red sleeves stuffed with music disks in the mail.
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After successful trials in San Diego, McDonald's is expanding their all-day breakfast test to even more cities that just can't manage to be bothered getting up for breakfast before 10:30 a.m.
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Have him in circles
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Steve Burgess

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The first major lead into the whereabouts of escaped murderers Richard Matt and David Sweat came with the discovery of prison-issue underwear in a remote hunting cabin in upstate New York. The mothers of the two escapees issues a joint statement announcing that they were pleased with the boys for packing clean underwear for their trip.
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Steve Burgess

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Following the recent events in South Carolina, Walmart, Amazon and eBay quickly proclaimed that confederate themed goods would be pulled from their stock. Sears attempted to join with in the other major retailers, but unfortunately, it wasn't 1990 and they were forced to sit in the room and wait to announce with JoAnn Fabrics.
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Steve Burgess

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Passengers aboard a United Airlines flight from Rome to Chicago finally reached their destination late Sunday after a 30-hour delay due to a disgruntled passenger.  Upon arriving in Chicago, the unruly passenger apologized, saying he mistakenly thought the plane was being diverted to Cleveland, explaining his reaction.
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Warner Brothers executives are concerned about the creative differences on the upcoming Captain Sully film since the team can't agree on who will play the co-pilot. Star Tom Hanks wants the role to be played by a half-inflated volleyball, but director Clint Eastwood thinks it is a great idea is to have Hanks spend the entire film talking to an empty chair.
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Marvel sources deny that they're not attending the San Diego Comic-Con for the first time in years just because Star Wars will be dominating the July event, but they can't help but look like small dude in the men's locker room waiting to shower after all the big guys are gone.
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Have him in circles
177 people
Rick Barlow's profile photo
Dan Hoppe's profile photo
Janice “Jan” Hartmann's profile photo
David Safeer's profile photo
sofi adusei's profile photo
Emprendedores Unidos's profile photo
Shari Bennett-Ledbetter's profile photo
Mj Lumagot's profile photo
jennifer ozuna's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Zumba instructor and amateur Jello Juggler
Employment
  • Life/Comedy
    Pretty Busy, 1971 - present
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6464538/
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Virginia Beach, VA
Previously
Monroe, Michigan - Goslar, Germany - Berlin Germany
Story
Tagline
Not allowed to eat tomatoes if more that 30 minutes away from the house.
Introduction
Construction and comedy do not mix, but I do what I can.  

As a fan of all things funny, Modern Family, It's Always Sunny and Community and are my current favorites, but I am a sucker for The Dick Van Dyke show.  

There are multiple comedy projects that I am working on...and they keep me sane.  

I have been on a stand-up comedy stage a few times, but do most of my writing for others. My favorite hobby is fine tuning the sets of other comedians...helping with material and focusing on what each comedian can an can't do.  

"Know your strengths and improve your weaknesses...or find a way to accept them." -Me

Originally from Michigan, Detroit Sports are where my alliances fall...a life-long Detroit Tigers, Lions and Red Wings fan.  
Bragging rights
Never arrested, survived music in the 80s and has never seen True Blood
Education
  • Michigan
    Pain, 1971 - 1989
  • Germany
    Germans, 1989 - 1994
  • Virginia Zumba Institute
    Pole Dancing, 2009 - 2010
  • One Night in Lumberton
    No comment, 2010 - 2010
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Birthday
January 7
Steve Burgess's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
SiriusXM Satellite Radio
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S1 : E1 Part 1
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Many of us are looking at the adoption of cloud as just another technology, and are leaving decisions on how to adopt, own, and manage the

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The singer made good on his promise to be combat instructor Kelsey De Santis's date

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The comedian and Always Sunny costar Mary Elizabeth Ellis will welcome their first child this December

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This guy hand-forged his own wedding ring. OUT OF A METEORITE.
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That's it. Game over. You will never have a wedding ring cooler than that of redditor laporkenstein. Not only did he fashion the band himsel

California school district sued over abstinence-only sex ed
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Two California moms are suing a Central Valley school district over its abstinence-only sex education, saying the policy puts students' heal

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Michigan basketball team focusing on Penn State, not Spartans vs. Buckeyes
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Michigan's Zack Novak, left and Evan Smotrycz battle Penn State guard Trey Lewis for the ball during the Wolverines 71-53 win at the Crisler

Grandfather Bloodied, Cuffed, Charged in Black Friday Confusion
abcnews.go.com

A video posted online today shows a bloodied and unconscious grandfather shortly after bystanders said police threw him to the ground inside