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Steve Burgess
Works at Life/Comedy
Attended Michigan
Lives in Virginia Beach, VA
173 followers|34,597 views
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Steve Burgess

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Three New York principals dispute U.S. News & World Report high school rankings because they believe the magazine miscalculated the methods New York high school use to determine proficiency in math.  U.S. News & World Report countered by disputing that the three know any math.
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Steve Burgess

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A suspect has been arrested in a D.C. home invasion murder.  Detectives indentified him from a Dominoes pizza crust he left uneaten in the box.   Pizza Hut is scoring this as a victory for their stuff crust pizza.
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In an attempt to modernize their sport, the NFL owners voted yesterday to move back extra points tries to the 15 yard line.  Major League Baseball owners countered by approving a league-wide flip phone giveaway night at every home game each Tuesday this September. 
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Marred by a mass airbag recall battle, Takata officials told Congress that they wish they cold go back to when the airbag issue was discovered in 2008.   Congressional Republicans sympathized with Takata, saying they'd like to go back to 1984.  
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XBox Live and PSN users were hit with a 24-hour knockout blow yesterday.  But hackers left The Nintendo Network alone since the Mii of Kim Jong Un is actually quite slimming.
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Reports are that NASA considered building a floating city above the clouds of Venus and call it 'Cloud City.' NASA officials laughed off the report as being from a rogue 'dreamer' who was immediately terminated. "If the NASA organization were filled with crazy dreamers like that, how could they have ever developed into the giant bureaucracy of a space organization filled with cubicle workers that don't even own a spaceship?"
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Steve Burgess

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Over the past several hours, Apple's iCloud has been slowed, impacting critical account access.  But, Apple officials indicate that there is no reason to panic...eight year old Chinese boys are still feverishly assembling Apple Watches for nine cents an hour. 
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Now you make me feel bad for buying an Apple Watch. 
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A top U.S. Military official said that photos of a North Korean missile launch were 'manipulated' by state propagandists.    They might have gotten away with the rouse if they hadn't gotten cocky and given all the North Korean soldiers pictured Robert Pattinson's  cheekbones and Tyler Lautner's chin.
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hey, did you see my podcast? it's just topical jokes

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jokes-for-today/id946648059
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Marshawn Lynch is in full 'Beast Mode'...even with Richard Sherman. #superbowl   #beastmode   #nfl  
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Guests of a Los Angeles multi-story motel escaped a fire by using bed sheets tied together after discovering that using a stone sculpting tool to tunnel through the wall behind the room painting was taking too long.
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Gamers were hit, yesterday, with a 24-hour knockout blow to XBox Live and PSN.  Hackers left The Nintendo Network alone, just like the rest of the gaming community.
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People
In his circles
353 people
Have him in circles
173 people
Susan Hemmersmeier's profile photo
Chris Zell's profile photo
Alex Rodriguez's profile photo
Michael Antony Montero's profile photo
Dhaneesh Choyyakkattuthazha's profile photo
Miss Mabel's profile photo
Mike Alber's profile photo
Shari Bennett-Ledbetter's profile photo
ShannonAndNancy Marquez's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Zumba instructor and amateur Jello Juggler
Employment
  • Life/Comedy
    Pretty Busy, 1971 - present
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6464538/
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Virginia Beach, VA
Previously
Monroe, Michigan - Goslar, Germany - Berlin Germany
Story
Tagline
Not allowed to eat tomatoes if more that 30 minutes away from the house.
Introduction
Construction and comedy do not mix, but I do what I can.  

As a fan of all things funny, Modern Family, It's Always Sunny and Community and are my current favorites, but I am a sucker for The Dick Van Dyke show.  

There are multiple comedy projects that I am working on...and they keep me sane.  

I have been on a stand-up comedy stage a few times, but do most of my writing for others. My favorite hobby is fine tuning the sets of other comedians...helping with material and focusing on what each comedian can an can't do.  

"Know your strengths and improve your weaknesses...or find a way to accept them." -Me

Originally from Michigan, Detroit Sports are where my alliances fall...a life-long Detroit Tigers, Lions and Red Wings fan.  
Bragging rights
Never arrested, survived music in the 80s and has never seen True Blood
Education
  • Michigan
    Pain, 1971 - 1989
  • Germany
    Germans, 1989 - 1994
  • Virginia Zumba Institute
    Pole Dancing, 2009 - 2010
  • One Night in Lumberton
    No comment, 2010 - 2010
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Birthday
January 7
Steve Burgess's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
SiriusXM Satellite Radio
www.siriusxm.com

SiriusXM: music of all kinds without commercials, the widest range of sports talk and games, news from top sources, exclusive talk, entertai

S1 : E1 Part 1
goanimate.com

Homeschooled "The Pilot" Part 1

NFL Fans Looking Forward To Season Of Touchbacks | The Onion Sports Network
www.onionsportsnetwork.com

NEW YORK—The National Football League's decision to move kickoffs to the 35 yard line has football fans across the nation anticipating a

Vladimir Guerrero Placed On Disabled List With Old | The Onion Sports Ne...
www.onionsportsnetwork.com

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7 new shows worth getting excited about in 2012
today.msnbc.msn.com

In case you missed the memo, some (all?) of the 2011-12 TV season's best new series have been held till midseason this year. Some seriously

Cloud is a corporate strategy, not a tactical solution
gigaom.com

Many of us are looking at the adoption of cloud as just another technology, and are leaving decisions on how to adopt, own, and manage the

Off My Medication 12-28-12
ignorethebucklesonmyjacket.wordpress.com

1. Obama says Fiscal Cliff can be avoided this weekend if Redskins, Vikings, Bears and Giants all lose. 2. Russian leader Vladimir Putin, in

TV Writer Chat: About Us
www.tvwriterchat.com

About Us. TV Writer Chat is a spin off from Script Chat on Twitter. We are a weekly chat for TV writers to learn and share. Our co-founders

TV Writer Chat: Chat Topics & Guests
www.tvwriterchat.com

Please sign up for our newsletter, on our home page, for updates. The shedule below is subject to change to accomodate chat guests. We will

TV Writer Chat: Bios for our Incredible Sunday Chat Guests Justin Halper...
www.tvwriterchat.com

Bios for our Incredible Sunday Chat Guests Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker. Justin and Patrick have known each other since 2001, when

Breaking: Jessica Milly To Start Putting Out
www.theonion.com

video; on tv; sports; politics; news beat. AV Club; Store; Dating; Contests. In The News. Thomas E. Dewey High School Sources: 17-Year-Old J

Justin Timberlake Parties at the Marine Corps Ball
www.people.com

The singer made good on his promise to be combat instructor Kelsey De Santis's date

Horrible Bosses Star Charlie Day, Wife Expecting a Baby
www.people.com

The comedian and Always Sunny costar Mary Elizabeth Ellis will welcome their first child this December

Beachbody LIVE!
www.ustream.tv

Beachbody LIVE! @ USTREAM: Beachbody, creator of the nation's most popular in-home fitness and weight loss solutions, was founded in 1998 by

This guy hand-forged his own wedding ring. OUT OF A METEORITE.
io9.com

That's it. Game over. You will never have a wedding ring cooler than that of redditor laporkenstein. Not only did he fashion the band himsel

California school district sued over abstinence-only sex ed
usnews.nbcnews.com

Two California moms are suing a Central Valley school district over its abstinence-only sex education, saying the policy puts students' heal

SiriusXM Adds Nick & Artie Show to Sports Talk Lineup - The Sacramen...
www.sacbee.com

/PRNewswire/ -- Sirius XM Radio (NASDAQ: SIRI) today announced that it has added The Nick & Artie Show, hosted by comedians Artie Lange and

Michigan basketball team focusing on Penn State, not Spartans vs. Buckeyes
www.annarbor.com

Michigan's Zack Novak, left and Evan Smotrycz battle Penn State guard Trey Lewis for the ball during the Wolverines 71-53 win at the Crisler

Grandfather Bloodied, Cuffed, Charged in Black Friday Confusion
abcnews.go.com

A video posted online today shows a bloodied and unconscious grandfather shortly after bystanders said police threw him to the ground inside