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Gabriel Fitzpatrick
Lives in Prague, Czech Republic
15,696 followers|1,331,451 views
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Birthday week staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarts.... Now. I'm very manic. This one is special... 

Absinthe now (La Grenouille - sugar, no ice... trying something new... strong pepper, strong chili, a touch of oak... amazingly different than straight or la louche), vodka later, tequila slightly more later, becherovka even later, and also insert your favorite cocktail as necessary. No scotch... waste of good scotch... tomorrow! Promise. Promise promise.

Post cocktails! I will make them all. Cross my heart.

Also send me gifts - ebooks are amazing, assuming your ebook is good. If your ebook is terrible and you send it as a gift I will never forgive you. My love can be caustic. Send it even if it isn't yours. Send it. Send. It. gfitzgfitz@gmail.com

OR! Buy one of my books and fund a shot! Find me on Amazon. Links are hard.

If this were Facebook I would promise to take a shot for every follower over the next week... but there's a super lot of you guys. Like, so fucking many. But I'm thinking of you. I'm thinking of you, and all of the amazing, edifying posts I've given you over the past year...

Seek bliss dear plussers. Life offers little else. 

You don't deserve it. Find it anyway. 

#KissWithAFist  
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Brandy Ellis's profile photoGabriel Fitzpatrick's profile photoT. Pascal's profile photoSharon Jackson's profile photo
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+Brandy Ellis Don't worry, as his agent and friend, I'm making sure he gets everything he needs ;-)
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Gabriel Fitzpatrick

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Spare the pimp slap, spoil the hoe.
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Galen Hussey's profile photoCraig Hatler's profile photo
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The beatings will continue - I don't spoil my +Craig Hatler s ;)
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Gabriel Fitzpatrick

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Today is the 17th, which means it's time for your monthly reminder that accusation of 'privilege,' in addition to being a buzzword recourse for the weak and inarticulate, is and remains an ad hominem fallacy.

Thanks for reading!
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Mz Maau's profile photoGalen Hussey's profile photoGabriel Fitzpatrick's profile photo
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+Mz Maau Quite so :D
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I'm not egotistical, I'm narcissistic. It's a crucial distinction.

After all, one must of course recall that Narcissus actually was impossibly beautiful.
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Garrett Robinson's profile photoAJ Maguire's profile photoGabriel Fitzpatrick's profile photo
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+Garrett Robinson I have. A book that can change your life, to be sure.
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So here's a joke, as recounted in Fable, in English:

A corpse walks into a bar, and he says to the bartender, "Can I have a lemonade?" The bartender says, "Sure, I've never seen a stiff drink."

A joke with much to be desired, to be sure, but the interesting bit is that the Czech version has replaced "lemonade" with "absinthe." One presumes that the two substances cover consistent use cases.
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T. Pascal's profile photoValerie Clark's profile photoKaren Conlin's profile photo
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Oh how I love absinthe....and a pun.
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Have him in circles
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Gabriel Fitzpatrick

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Dear Tesco,

I know you think all your customers are morons, since they come to your store and what else could they be, but you can't raise the price of something fifty bucks and expect no one to notice, surely? 

If you really are that delusional, please let me know and I will refer you to a qualified euthanasia clinic. 

Love,
Gabriel
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Gabriel Fitzpatrick

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You cannot teach he who will not learn, but you can charge the mother of he who will not learn for an extended period of time.
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Would you describe any media as being a female empowerment fantasy? I was recently asked, and could come up with nothing...

For those who wouldn't: Would you say that female empowerment fantasy, in the sense that we mean when we say male empowerment fantasy, is a genre that could exist, or is the distinction between the feminine and masculine such that the concept is oxymoronic?

ed; Buffy! Maybe?
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Mz Maau's profile photoJoshua Hocieniec's profile photoGabriel Fitzpatrick's profile photo
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Thelma and Louise?
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Where the internet gets its ideas on American immigration law I do not know... even the talk radio people aren't as far afield as your average internet user.

It's to the point that I have trouble believing the citizens of other countries, if only because their rhetoric is so identical.

PS. As a note to Britain, can anyone actually prove the whole 'pakistanis & baltics get free housing, healthcare, jobs, blowies, and a lifetime supply of Newcastle' thing? Because given that it took me 5 hours in interrogation, as a citizen of your closest ally, to get a tourist visa because they were afraid I might get a job while I was there... 
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Like anything it's a whole bunch of different conflated things....

In the UK it's made a littel bit worse by the EU laws regarding free movemnet, that mean that eastern europeans can move here freely and work for a lot less (and a lot harder) than people in the UK expect to be able to... Which is the root of the "get given jobs" part. They arn't given jobs to a greater degree, they just take whatever shit they are offered for crap pay rather than staying on welfare....
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I'm a singular fan of Moan's poetry.
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T. Pascal's profile photo
 
I read his/her book on my tablet and felt like I had to hide it from my wife when she looked over. It's that good.
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People
Have him in circles
15,696 people
Work
Occupation
Legendary spinner of falsehoods.
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Story
Tagline
Wanderer, dissident, refugee, hedonist, solipsist, romantic. Indie as fuck.
Introduction
I'm a unique-like-everybody-else artsy capitalist pleasure-seeking cynical free thinking hippie and when I can tether myself to my laptop long enough I write.

My work is available on Kindle at the link below, among other places.

Bragging rights
Abdicated ambition; sought bliss.
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Prague, Czech Republic
Previously
Isle of Skye, Scotland - Baile Herculane, Romania - Knoxville, TN - Belfast, Ireland - Naples, Italy - Kansas City, KS - Asheville, NC