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Walther M.M.
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Walther M.M.

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What's the meaning of life?
Did you ever thought about how much the (perceived) answer to this question influences our experience of it? 
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Walther M.M.

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Because awareness is the first step to resolving any problem, and sometimes it's the only missing step to start finding solutions.

"Started reading the #YesAllWomen  tweets b/c I've got a daughter, but now I see I should be reading them b/c I've got two sons.

— Albert W Dubreuil (@awdubreuil) May 25, 2014"
 
Unbelievably well written blog about the #YesAllWomen movement.

While I haven't gotten involved myself, it is mostly because I don't have the strength to combat the back lash to what I would say about the matter. As it is, being female on the internet has invited every perv in the World to send me pics of their junk, make lude remarks on my posts, and generally ignore the fact that I'm a human being. More and more this has pushed me off the internet and into the confines of my home, where I hope I am safe. But I never know.
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Emotion versus Reason
or why feminists don't want to hear your input

Some time ago I read a book by PhD Barbara DeAngelis, "What Women Want Men to Know." Among the many interesting observations and statements regarding the behavioural differences in men and women, there was a particular section which spoke of the desire women need to express themselves, and how analytical rhetoric by men was undesired.

In brief, women sometimes just want to vent out, it's a way of self-therapy and reclaiming their inner peace. However, they don't need any actual help with this process, other than to be heard and understood. Men, on the other hand, have a tendency to be "fixers," and as such they want to analyse and provide their input. This has the unintended effect of usually annoying women.

What I just realized today is... this kind of behaviour is what pretty much happens in most feminist threads. Well meaning men want to expand on the discussion, add their two bits, and women get annoyed by this. Sadly, then the unwelcome guests get attacked with a variety of labels, accruing to them ill-intent, when in fact, they just didn't realize that the intention of the thread wasn't for analytical thought, but merely for emotional support.

Perhaps, if we had realized this sooner, much annoyance could had been avoided, for everybody involved.
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By doing our own contribution instead of hijacking their threads? Since the analytical comments are mostly unwanted in the awareness-raising feminist posts, it can take place in posts by other people.

Curious fact: so far it's been easy to discuss and contribute to threads on feminism when started (and moderated) by men. Perhaps it's easier to engage in analytical rhetoric when you aren't the victim, who'd knew? As a bonus, since it is mostly men who need the teaching, little is lost by going this way.

Granted, I will not state that all women are emotional and all men are more logical, but in this particular instance it appears to go along those lines, so it'd be wise to play to the strengths of each group rather than against them.
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Walther M.M.

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The value of faith...
...is not found in unyielding certainty when faced with adversity, but in realizing we don't have any guarantee that we are right, and still hope that doing our best will suffice.

It is by embracing our humility and letting go of our arrogance that we can build a better world.
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Sexuality is usually seen as one of the foundations of a solid relationship, yet the world of sex is vast, riddled with stigmas, fear and ignorance.

The following is an excellent article by +A.V. Flox, in which she reflects on the hurdles to sexual communication, as well as an example of a "fun" (read: non-threatening) way to overcome them.

In fact, I'd consider this advise so sage, that I'd equate not spreading it to a crime against humanity, or, at the very least, against love and relationships.

The Human Sexuality Map can be found here, too:
http://www.humansexmap.com/
 
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY

In 2008, I was married and things were on the rocks. When my husband and I had met, we'd had great sex but things had cooled considerably as the demands of life and the boredom of routine set in. Sex is an important part of communicating, a sacred thing that enables two people to take a time out and be with one another in a way that promotes health and good-will and strengthens the pair-bond. I was not going to let it die. 

Unfortunately, any conversation about it had a tendency to degenerate into a gory confrontation. I didn't know how to bring it up without triggering my husband's fears that he wasn't "man enough." Masculinity, like femininity, is a really complex thing that I am still wrapping my mind around, but even then I knew that for him (as for a lot of other people), it was really important to feel secure in the gender with which he identifies.

The moment the conversation takes a turn into the place where people feel unsafe about not being man or woman enough is the place where desire dies. It's not a fast death, either, but a slow poisoning. Like hydrargyria, the chronic exposure to mercury, the person moves from irritability to anxiety, restlessness, fear, irrational behavior, loss of confidence, depression, lethargy, and numbing before finally succumbing to more serious body dysfunction.

"The first rule of relationships is communication!" books and gurus tell us, but few people really show us how to discuss these things, or what to do when efforts to do so, however well-intended, only serve to trigger a partner's fear. It doesn't even matter if it's a rational fear or not, fear is fear, and fear closes previously open channels. 

I don't know a damn thing about interpersonal communication beyond a class I had to take in journalism school, geared more toward connecting with people to enable a good interview than fostering good relationships, but when I bumped into +Franklin Veaux's Map of the Lands of Human Sexuality, I had an idea.

I downloaded a copy of the map, which lays out an incredible variety of sexual interests over a landmass, and stripped it of color in Photoshop. The next time my husband and I had some downtime, I brought over my laptop and plopped down beside him.

"I found this weird map on the internet full of the craziest sex things imaginable," I said. "It made me feel like a total virgin."

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, actually interested. "What kind of stuff is this?"

"Stuff so beyond me I had to Google half the terms," I said. 

He wanted to see it. I showed him the image I had saved in Photoshop. 

"I don't even know what these things mean," he said.

"I know right?" I opened the browser and input "shibari" so he could see how pretty it was.

"That's a sex thing?" he asked. "That looks like so much work."

"I know, right? But so beautiful," I replied. "Please tell me you're not into dacrylagnia."

"I don't know what that is."

"I'm guessing that has to do with being turned on by crying," I looked it up. "Sure enough."

"No, I'm not. People are into that? People are so weird."

"What about uniforms?"

He paused, "those can be hot. I like nurses."

"Really?" I asked. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah."

“You know what?” I asked, "this is kind of fun. I have an idea. I'm going to print this out, two copies, and we can fill them in together. We'll use three colors: one for places where we live, one for places we're interested in visiting, and one for places we never want to set foot on."

So we Googled and colored like little kids filling in a world map for geography class. And for the first time ever, we were able to talk about sex without having a fight.

Of course, when we were done, we had two maps that, put together, clearly outlined that we neither lived nor had intentions of ever visiting one another. Despite how hard that was, I think it was helpful. This wasn't so much a matter of not being desirable or "enough" so much as one of having desires that, at least at that moment, did not match. And that's something.

So I'm going to give you the tools. If you have ever wanted to talk to a partner about your desires but found it difficult, this might be a useful approach. 

And Franklin? Thanks for saving me thousands in marriage counseling. 
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+Chelsey Thomas, then you probably really would like to follow +A.V. Flox. I was just spreading the post she originally wrote. And this map was even a find by her, too. You'd do well in reading the original thread, the discussion which followed does deal with the questions you posed.

A more kinky person may wonder how can some people be content with what they do, without even trying anything new, yet I think people have their own limits that they believe to know intrinsically. This is easy to understand for some of the most.... extreme kinds of kink. I don't need to "try out incest" in order to know that I don't like it, for instance. Who's to say this line of reasoning cannot be applied for much milder situations, such as intuitively knowing one is not into... say, anal play?

However, there is the fear of the unknown factor which might be keeping people from exploring things outside of their conform zone, and this can only be overcome if there's a higher degree of trust in the relationship, as well as enough curiosity to move forward with it. And I think it is in this latter case, where the map above can come in handy.

Anyway, do read the original thread, there's much more to think about in the comments there ;)
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An argument against nature: Life is suffering.

A typical perspective that comes up in arguments is that "nature knows best," to so called "natural" approach. However, just how true is this, when you consider...

Emotions, these are the driving force behind life. Chemical reactions cause a surge of sensations which then guide living organisms in their behaviour. From hunger to reproduction, most living beings are completely at the control of their innate urges. Emotions guide most behaviour.

Evolutionary speaking, all that matters is survival. Adapting to a hostile environment, to place one's biology over another. Wild life is rife with events which, to our own eyes, reek of suffering: merciless killing to feed, merciless killing to defend from perceived threats to our territory; highly competitive sexuality, in which "rape" seems to be much more the norm than the exception, and "love" is a concept which encompasses convenience.

Looking at our own human behaviour, it's easy to see how much pain is caused by following our emotions. Anger, lust, even love have been causes of much suffering. Yet, we know that our emotions seek not suffering, but comfort, stability, safety. Is it that the emotions which help us survive in a hostile environment, hinder our development under a different context, one of cooperation? Notice how any species which "wins" in the food chain is ultimately at risk of extinction from over-consuming their natural habitat.

Going beyond emotions

Under the perspective given so far, life is suffering. Does this mean we have to content ourselves with a life riddled in it? To merely give up our quest for happiness, knowing our emotions will betray us as often (if not more) than they award us?

Higher thinking is what allows us to step back from the causal chains of satisfaction and pain brought on by emotions, to become observers of our fate and analyse them. Self-awareness is but the very first step, which is displayed by many other animals. The capacity to study a problem to decide on a solution before acting is another, also shared by other species. Yet, is any species capable of going beyond emotions?

Humanity has the highest potential (that we are aware of) to overcome our emotions. Not to destroy them, not to suppress them, but merely remove them from the cockpit, to stop being ruled by our own emotions, and see them as useful tools when seeking a life of peace and happiness.

So, next time somebody brings up the "natural" argument, consider how violent nature actually is, and wonder if, just perhaps, shouldn't we aim a little higher than that.

#philosophy   #nature   #suffering  
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very well written +Walther M.M. great post :)
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Walther M.M.

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If someone ever complains about welfare collectors, show them this.

Even if not, read it anyway. It may make you a bit kinder towards humanity.
 
I'm not going to write anything at length about this because this post covers it better than I could, but this is a fantastic read. If you want some perspective into the lives of the poor who have dared have something nice, this is a great start.
If someone ever complains about welfare collectors, show them this.
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you can seem to and be - he is starving by them. timestamp: work hours. do you nitpick about everything
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I've been a little worried by how well meaning comments break down into what looks like gender wars, and the linked article has a very sound explanation on why this is happening.

Strongly recommended read if you also wonder how things got this bad.
 
Brilliant article about how gender roles and secondary trauma influence the #yesallwomen  / #notallmen  discourse

"Woman to man:  Here is my experience!

Man: *Listening *

Man (internal dialogue): Holy shit, that is really awful and I feel really bad about it.  I need to go talk to someone about this.  I’ll go to the person that I usually go to to share intimate/emotional aspects of myself.

Man to woman: Hearing this makes me feel really bad!  And now I’m worried about how you think of me!  #NotAllMen are like that! (Importantly, I’m not!)

Woman (internal dialogue): Wow, I just shared a part of myself and my experience and now this guy expects me to help him feel better about the experience of listening to me?  And also seems to be devaluing the integrity of what I’m telling him?

Woman to man: Fuck off.  Seriously. For Real. #YesAllWomen."


https://elementalstew.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/notallmenyesallwomen-secondary-trauma-and-relearning-everything-for-the-sake-of-not-killing-each-other/
(Hi again!  I'm basically the least consistent writer ever.  But this is on my mind and I wanted to try to write about it if I could.  Warning: I think I'm pretty frank, and also I swear a fair amo...
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i wanted to point out that i agree with her, that men with sisters seem better "socialized" - as do women with brothers
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Walther M.M.

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One must admit that our culture creates the kind of men which feminists are so tired of dealing with. Until society itself changes, "converting" each one of them will feel as a losing battle, because the stream of them is never ending!

Yet, giving up would be to accept defeat, to let the status quo remain. Instead, for every person which quits, more should rise up to the task. Perhaps, it is only by adding the voice of each "converted" person to the cry for equality that we can hope a societal level of change.
 
I'm Done

http://thoughtcatalog.com/anne-theriault/2014/03/tired-of-talking-to-men/

I find that the more that I engage in activism, the more men seem to think that my time belongs to them. There seems to be this idea that if I’ve set myself up as an educator about feminism and gender and women’s rights (and I know that I have, and by and large I enjoy that role), then  it’s somehow part of my job to take the time out of my busy day to explain basic feminist concepts to them. If I don’t, then I’m accused of all kinds of things – not properly backing up what I say with facts (though the facts are easily accessible to those who want them), not caring enough about “converting” men who might be on the fence (though they could convert themselves if they really wanted to), not being strong or smart enough to engage in a discussion (which we both know isn’t going to go anywhere). I used to burn myself out by patiently laying out my talking points over and over, directing people towards resources, never walking away from an arguments be it big or small. But I’m not doing that to myself anymore. This is my space; I get to decide what happens here. If I don’t want to reply to comments, then I won’t. If I don’t want to engage someone, then I’ll ignore them. Yes, I am here to educate and to explain, but I am not under any obligation to do anything that I don’t want to. That is not my job. If you want to learn more, then that’s your job.

#yesallwomen  
#fuckoff  
#betterthingstodowithmytime  
I am tired of talking about feminism to men.
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and porn!
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I doubt many here are in the anti-abortion/pro-life side of the discussion, but for anybody who is interested in that debate, this is one hell of an argument which merits deep consideration.
 
The seriousness of disregarding bodily autonomy.

This is one of the best presented arguments in favor of pro-choice I've ever read.  

By saying a fetus has a right to someone's body parts until it's born, despite the pregnant person's wishes, you're doing two things:

1) Granting a fetus more rights to other people's bodies than any born person.

2) Awarding a pregnant person less rights to their body than a corpse.

I can't say it's any surprise to me that pro-lifers anti-abortionists feel this way about pregnant women. 
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I have to thank you +Walther M.M. for your kindness. I do understand that +Denis Wallez and you engage me on this out of compassion and kindness not only towards me but also towards my patients. I'm putting forth my train of thoughts in your post, it gives me a much needed distance between the issue and Jyothi;-) I will reconsider my decision and act case per case and not deal with it by a blanket 'no' or 'yes'. Thank you both for your kindness and empathy/^\
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Walther M.M.

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The path to beauty should be through the gym, not the surgeon's office

Just a blog talking about the journey of a particular female from being heavy, to being light, to being heavy again, and loving it.

I've always thought it completely screwed that to be a "sexy animal," men get the impression that they should just hit the gym and get a six-pack, whereas women get the message that they should just visit the surgeon and spend a few thousand (and barring that, to just starve themselves to death).

And a healthy body is good for your mind as well. If we are to obsess over our physical beauty, we may as well do it in a way that is healthy for us, don't you agree?

#fitness   #selfimage   #beauty
 
Wonderful article... wish I'd had this realization when I was younger.
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Untrained Philosopher & Wannabe Psychologist
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Tagline
I may talk too much, but I think even more >_<
Introduction
Introverted thinker with interests in philosophy and psychology. May not enjoy posting all that much (with the attention it gathers), but likes commenting on subjects of interest and playing the role of antagonist.

My being here isn't really to make friends or network, but instead as a resource for interesting debate and attaining wisdom. Because of this, I am likely to follow people who have engaging, insightful, or otherwise thought-provoking public content.

The topics which interest me are:
  • Philosophy
  • Psychology (in particular love, relationships and sexuality)
  • Spirituality
  • Social Issues
  • Digital art
  • Video games
  • Volleyball
(though I doubt I'll ever post content about the last three, there are far better venues for those topics).
Bragging rights
Humility and compassion are the greatest traits a human is capable of. Don't brag unless you'd rather be controlled by your ego.