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Six kinds of love
Long ago I read a book by psychologist Walter Riso which broke down the components of a healthy relationship into a balance of three types of love: agape, philia, and Eros. It turns out that there are even more types of love that the Greek understood.

Understanding these could be a good help to realize the state of our relationships and which kinds of love we might need more of in our lives (and no, don't expect a single romantic partner to be the infallible source for all of them, that's a recipe for disappointment).
 
I dug this article up when I was looking for the nth varieties of "love" in another conversation here on G-Plus. For all of english's incredible agility as a trade and technical language it's daily use is emotionally stilted. Why aren't we using eros, philia, ludus, agape, pragma, and philautia as words in our daily life? 

These are Greek concepts and words. Are there any words you know of that we could steal from asian or other non-romance languages? I want to hear them. I'm sick of using the dumb phrase "love" when I really want to express a nuanced form of appreciation and/or affection. 
Can six loves known to the Greeks inspire us to move beyond our current addiction to romantic love, which has 94 percent of young people hoping — but often failing — to find a unique soul mate who can satisfy all their loving needs?
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The capacity for love is a bit of a big concept. I've considered it on the scale of our faith in humanity (e.g.: if we think people, deep down, are all selfish, that stunts our ability to love). But both axes could be intertwined, as our view of humanity tends to be tinted by our own view of ourselves. Thus, in a way, knowledge of ourselves implies knowledge of others, and both are involved in the development of wisdom (which is my personal theory of how love is best nurtured). 
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The Moral Circle
And how we destroy each another by imposing our ethics on others

"To whom do we apply ethics?" Is a curious question. Naturally, every sentient being has some sort of notion of what is appropriate or incorrect behaviour (even if it's something as simple as: "it's appropriate if it improves my chances of survival), but here we have a question that allows the possibility of extending ethics from the self, to those around us. Or said in other words, this question raises the notion of imposing a set of ethics to a larger group of beings.

Do we ever have the right to impose ethics on others? When we think we should, we code behaviours representative of these in the law. Another group that believes in promoting their ethics are religions. Yet... there are times when both have gone horribly wrong, and when great harm has been caused to others, often in the name of a "greater good". Morality wielded as a weapon meant to protect the social good while sacrificing individuals may be as old as politics itself.

Yet, is the other extreme feasible? Is it reasonable to believe that our moral circle would best be left to "ourselves" and that the law should just concern itself with protecting individuals so that they may live according to their own ethics?

As it is, I fear we need a certain degree of interference, to protect each another from unethical acts (where there's a good chance of significant harm). Perhaps a more enlightened society (or at least, more self-aware) wouldn't need a larger moral circle but, until then, we are subject to both the benefits and harms that entail a larger one.
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I understand, +Peg Ritchie​. A certain degree of "default morals" is practical because it helps guide people who haven't matured enough to have reached the same conclusions on their own. Saving themselves from their ignorance, so to speak.

It's just seriously problematic when it turns out such wisdom was "wrong," and there is a giant social backlash against any changes, since the social wisdom of said norms is firmly held as "truth."

Not quite unlike our modern society and the many social injustices which were (and still are by many) considered as normal. 
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Why repress that which is a basic need for survival?

A pretty interesting read on the various ways in which priests rationalize their sinful ways. Even if you think restrain from a natural impulse builds character / discipline, finding ways of denying what one does opens the door to plenty of hypocritical judging when others do the same. Not cool.

#masturbation   #priesthood   #sexuality             

h/t:  +Violet Blue 
Gay marriage contraceptives abortion for a religion so preoccupied with using what is or isn t natural http www.usccb.org issues and action marriage and family natural family...
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"Why repress that which is a basic need for survival?"
 You've noticed we are a species of mask worshipers.
 I think it's part of the power mask of priests.
To make them appear less human and more
god-like. It increases their influence over their
flock..
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What's wrong with society today?

Saying everything would seem alarming or apocalyptic, but it also wouldn't be too far off from the truth. There are many movements nowadays that aim at improving society (eg: fixing our economic system, fixing the "-isms" that still plague us today), but the problem is so ingrained, so central to the structure of society, that you may as well argue that we've built a society based on the wrong values and principles.

Changing the very foundations of society will undeniably be a monumental task with an opposition the likes of which has never seen before, but it probably should be done if we really want to move forward in a significant way.

The linked excerpt from Laurie Penny's book is a rather lengthy, but well stated analysis of where do we stand today, and how the current social change movements aren't going far enough to actually fix the system. It's a recommended reading for anyone interested in understanding how current society impacts (and even impedes) an individual's search for happiness unless you follow a very strict, narrow set of instructions that only apply to some very lucky individuals, and only grants a very specific, limited kind of happiness.
 
The attached is an excerpt from Laurie Penny's Unspeakable Things: Sex, Lies and Revolution. I find the following particularly resonant.

As for young men, they were told they lived in a brave new world of economic and sexual opportunity, and if they felt angry or afraid, if they felt constrained or bewildered by contradictory expectations, by the pressure to act masculine, make money, demonstrate dominance and fuck a lot of pretty women while remaining a decent human being, then their distress was the fault of women and minorities. It was these grasping women, these homosexuals and people of colour who had taken away the power and satisfaction that was once their birthright as men. We were taught, all of us, that if we were dissatisfied, it was our fault, or the fault of those closest to us. We were built wrong, somehow. We had failed to adjust. If we showed any sort of distress, we probably needed to be medicated or incarcerated, depending on our social status. There are supposed to be no structural problems, just individual maladaption.

I am not happy with the world as it is. I never have been. I never quite fit in, despite being white, heterosexual, cisgendered, male, and able to fake being Christian if necessary. Something is fundamentally wrong with America, and it can't just be me. 
We're told we can "have it all" -- as long as that means marriage, babies, a finance job, shoes and exhaustion
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yes, the yoga crowd
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"I'm beginning to think that empathy has no place on the internet..."

A thoughtful piece (inspired by the recent "leak") which touches on the various ramifications regarding the Internet-generation and the influence they are experiencing. On one side, I want to believe that the mass-communications will enable us all to feel closer to each another, to bring out our common points rather than our differences.

On the other hand, there's the risk of ending with a generation of people with seriously skewed perceptions on women, privacy, sexuality, and pretty much every other social area. It's a dystopian nightmare, and quite likely considering the dismal state of current educational institutes.

h/t: +Violet Blue
So: this week, some sexual predators on the internet released private photos of various female celebrities, including fan-favourite Jennifer Lawrence. They did this, I imagine, because the actions of various terrorists in the gamer community last week weren't quite enough...
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I think your point about losing empathy is hugely important, it goes hand-in-hand with narcissism which is fueled by the net.
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When reason and kindness fail, there's always room for shaming

Social pressure is an exceptionally strong normalizing force, as it is what enforces the "social contract" way before any laws are required. The linked article tells a brief history of how shaming has been used effectively in the recent past to alter the course of society, and thus, how it could be used today in positive ways.

Granted, for it to work it requires a significant number of supporters; or enough media influence to make it seem significant (this highlights how important is the media's role in shaping the course of society, but that's another topic).

Though I'd much rather use kindness and empathy to try and get people agreeing, there might be cases where the time is against us, and more drastic measures are required.

PS: Do notice the distinction between shaming and humiliating: target the beliefs, not the people.
 
The best way to win a debate is to present your facts in a clear, respectful way. When that doesn't work, another option is incessant ridicule. Here's why we have to use shame if we want to stop the anti-vaccine movement.
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Walther M.M.

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A look at our "toxic society"

Perhaps the most important service that society can provide to its members is a safe environment in which they can develop and seek their happiness.

Yet, out of fear and short-sightedness, what we've gotten instead is an extremely normalized structure in which only a very specific prototype of a person can reap all of its benefits (this is where you usually hear about the middle-aged, white, heterosexual man, who also follows some very specific definitions of masculinity and gender behaviour).

This article does touches on many of the flaws of our current system, and how it's set up to even impede progress to some of the most privileged (mostly because today consent is a thing to consider whereas it wasn't back when these norms were set up).

It is only when we can all acknowledge that there's indeed a problem with our society that we will be able to make significant progress in improving it.

#society   #feminism  
 
Best, most empathetic write-up that is also true and honest. I recommend it to all my nerd feminist-friendly guys who get really upset when we don't use the word "some" when we talk about men.
White male nerds need to recognise that other people had traumatic upbringings, too - and that's different from structural oppression.  
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Because in most human tragedies, there are only victims

"During the course of my [sexual abuse prevention psychology] studies, it became apparent to me that the best way to help victims is to help the perpetrators."

This is something that is extremely uncomfortable (if not unacceptable) to a good swath of the population. Most of us want to believe in justice, in rewarding good and punishing evil. Yet, humans are rarely evil, they are merely the result of complex interactions from their past that ended up shaping their present selves and their actions.

"For me, understanding those attracted to minors paved the way to compassion for abusers, which is essential in turning victimization into empowerment."

And forgiveness is the final step, which many may never actually reach. Yet, without forgiveness, we never fully heal, we cling on to the scars, and fear.

#psychology   #abuse   #compassion
 
 I learned that it was it was rude to say no to a man with an erection; I was responsible for it, and I should take care of it. I vividly remember our Presbyterian preacher literally murmuring to me that I should stay a virgin while he fondled me, praying that I would develop large breasts just like my mother, and attempted to digitally penetrate me and have me fondle him numerous times at church youth camp retreats he led. 
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The root of most of today's social issues, in a nutshell

"The douchebag is someone — overwhelmingly white, rich, heterosexual males — who insist upon, nay, demand their white male privilege in every possible set and setting."

Because if it weren't for them, it'd be much easier to establish dialogue and work towards solutions, rather than engage in endless discussions against these people who outright deny such a thing as privilege.

It's an angle worth thinking about.

#privilege   #racism   #sexism

Via +Monica Madison 
by Michael Mark Cohen “The white folks had sure brought their white to work with them that morning.” Chester Himes, If …
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When the promise of sex trumps all red flags...
There is so much wrong with the implications of the results from this experiment, that I am at a loss for words.

"I could extrapolate from my data that men have been so deeply socialized to value women solely on their appearance that many of them seem unable to take any other aspect of who she is, such as intelligence or capacity for self-reflection or suffocating douchiness, into account."

That may be pretty accurate, and is pretty well reflected in the problems we see today surrounding sexism.
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"You seem like a sweet girl worth getting to know" LOL This article is gold! 🙌
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Reversible Effective Male Birth Control by 2017
Keep fingers crossed.

I posted a long while ago about RISUG and how Indian culture was being such a big roadblock to something that is direly needed by an ever expanding world population. So here's a more up-to-date article on the situation. The "Western version" of this product is called Vasalgel, and it's expected to cost less than a flat-screen.

Yet, why is there not enough funding for such critically useful advances? As the article states:

Long-term treatments like Vasalgel are much less appealing to potential funders in the pharmaceutical industry who, as they observe, would much rather “sell pills to men’s partners every month.”

Yet, progress is being made. This is something all sexually active men should be interested in following (I do wonder why they didn't try public funding, there should be enough public interest!).

PS: The basic premise behind these treatments is that they coat the vas deferens (that which is cut in a vasectomy) with a substance that simply renders sperm infertile as it passes through it. Simple and effective.

h/t, as usual, to +Violet Blue.
#contraception
A reversible polymer that blocks sperm is about to enter human trials and will be available by 2017. How will rhetoric change when male bodies are responsible for birth control?
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Who knows, +Cody Mitchell. I am just slightly annoyed that the original product, developed in India, would had been cheap enough to be accessible to everybody (it was mentioned that the syringe itself was more expensive than the compound injected). Yet, considering the lack of funding that this research has, I am not surprised they would scale up price to make up for it. :/

Well, first things first, this thing needs to hit the market before mass production can lower its price (and no doubt the pharmaceutical industry will do all it can to oppose that step).
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Seeker of Wisdom
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I may talk too much, but I think even more >_<
Introduction
Introverted thinker with interests in philosophy and psychology. May not enjoy posting all that much (with the attention it gathers), but likes commenting on subjects of interest and playing the role of antagonist.

My being here isn't really to make friends or network, but instead as a resource for interesting debate and attaining wisdom. Because of this, I am likely to follow people who have engaging, insightful, or otherwise thought-provoking public content.

The topics which interest me are:
  • Philosophy
  • Psychology (in particular love, relationships and sexuality)
  • Spirituality
  • Social Issues
  • Digital art
  • Video games
  • Volleyball
(though I doubt I'll ever post content about the last three, there are far better venues for those topics).
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Humility and compassion are the greatest traits a human is capable of. Don't brag unless you'd rather be controlled by your ego.