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Jerad Zimmermann
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YMUG Newsletter - 2016/02/06

YMUG Newsletter -  2016/02/06
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Acting Secretaries:

Tony Crockford: support@ymug.org

Chris Brady: ymug@csjbrady.org.uk

with help from: Anzir Boodoo and Tim Pinder.  Thanks also to Ian Thomas, Martin Pickering and Brendan Rowland who send me items of interest.
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Items for the newsletter, reviews, rants, raves, revelations and reflections to: Jerad Zimmermann, your back-in-sandals news-hound: news@ymug.org
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Join mactalk – YMUG's official email list discussion group.

You'll get approximately 5 or 6 emails a day and can have 'instant' discussions on Mac related issues. And other stuff, we’re flexible.

To subscribe (FREE) to the group, send a blank email to: mactalk-join@ymug.org and then confirm membership when you receive an automated reply from the group,

If you have any difficulty, please contact Tony Crockford unless it’s something personal, medical, financial, noetical or political – support@ymug.org
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YMUG MEETING?

Pete Bell suggested Sprotborough as it’s a bit of a YMUG tradition. Is it okay with everyone if I check into that and look to set something up for . . . some weekend during the Easter break?
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AMD RADEON GRAPHICS CARD REPLACEMENT PROGRAM

YMUG member John Haughton sent in the following tale and I thought it would be good to pass it on:

Hi all those with a 27 inch iMac purchased between May 2011 and October 2012.

My 27 inch iMac crashed last Thursday very suddenly - the screen became grey with 5 pale green vertical bars. I rebooted and the pale green bars reappeared followed by the Apple logo then a progress bar under the logo after a short while and before the progress bar was complete the screen went grey. From my Google search I concluded that it was most possibly the video card being u/s.

I spoke with an extremely helpful guy at AppleCare who gave me help to try to clarify this without success.

The reason for this email is that the AppleCare guy told me that there is a replacement programme for the AMD Radeon HD 6970M video card the following link gives more information.

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT203787 

I am heading to the Apple store in Leicester tomorrow to get it checked.

Apologies if this issue has already been reported in one of the newsletters. From the info returned when I search the Apple Support site there have been and seem to continue to be issues with some Radeon graphics cards.

Perhaps something to be aware of if strange things are happening to your iMac

John Haughton

Who did back up his data and is hoping to get a fixed computer soon
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OS X AND MAC STUFF

YMUG member Jock Graham was trying to figure out how to use Adobe CS4 on OS X El Capitan and he found a thread on an Adobe forum which showed him how. He says start at comment 11 and warns that you need to use Terminal.

https://forums.adobe.com/thread/1714695


Oh my, I really, really, REALLY want one of these wooden ‘skins’ for my Macbook Pro. Lovely.

http://www.cultofmac.com/410855/these-wooden-skins-are-a-natural-fit-for-your-macbook/


If you’re using Photos to catalogue some of your old photos you might want to be able to add locations to them. Oh look, it’s you’re lucky day!

http://www.tekrevue.com/tip/add-location-photos-mac/


I’m considering using OS X’s dictation feature to tell my Mac what to do. Considering mind you. I can just imagine what my family would think if I start talking to my computer.

http://appletoolbox.com/2016/02/how-to-protect-your-privacy-when-using-dictation-on-mac/


One pundit’s view that Time Machine is not up to scratch.

http://www.macobserver.com/tmo/article/why-apples-time-machine-utterly-fails-user-needs
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iSTUFF

Some folks are noticing that if they have someone other than Apple fix their malfunctioning home buttons they get an error message when trying to update their iOS. Apple is aware of the problem and says it’s a security measure which makes sense to me. And guess what? If someone other than Apple services your device you’ve violated the warranty agreement. Take-away lesson: take your device to an authorised Apple dealer.

http://www.macrumors.com/2016/02/05/error-53-home-button-iphone-brick/


If you have one of the newer iPhones or iPads with 3D touch then you can read a message without sending a read receipt. Why you would want to I can’t speculate (nasty divorce case?) but it’s interesting that it’s possible.

http://osxdaily.com/2016/02/05/read-message-without-sending-read-receipt-3d-touch-iphone/


My wife got an iPhone 5s for work this week and her Contact list was filled with tons of people she didn’t want to be there. Turns out her system was adding contacts found in Mail. So I turned that off. Before I read this article. I’m so smart.

http://osxdaily.com/2016/02/02/disable-contact-suggestions-found-mail-ios/


The BBC iPlayer app now supports Handoff! AND it supports Spotlight search as well. I may get me one of them Apple TV thingies.

http://9to5mac.com/2016/02/05/iplayer-iphone-ipad-apple-tv/


Fed up with Mail on your iDevice or just and email app junkie like me? Here’s some alternatives.

http://www.cultofmac.com/410219/best-emails-apps-for-iphone/


People are still using iPhone 2Gs. Not many though. Most of us have 6 or 6s.

http://www.appleworld.today/blog/2016/2/5/mixpanel-numbers-show-that-iphone-6-and-newer-models-make-up-the-lions-share-of-iphones-in-use


A Welsh man won a small claims court case against Apple when his Apple Watch developed a crack in its screen.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-35475433


I find this video filmed by a skier with his iPhone on a tether spinning around him a bit discombobulating but I do have a touch of vertigo. Apparently it’s gone ‘viral’ on social media so you’re welcome for keeping you trendy.

http://9to5mac.com/2016/02/05/shot-on-iphone-ski-video/
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WWW = WEIRD, WONDERFUL AND WHY

If you think you’re not partially dependent on GPS then read this article about what happened last week when 15 satellites were off by 13 microseconds. Even the BBC was affected.

https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2016/02/05/201231/


What do you think was the most used smartphone app in December 2015? Don’t think too hard.

http://9to5mac.com/2016/02/04/most-popular-smartphone-apps/


Denmark put out a video telling the world that they’re not so bad because they make great bacon and their monarch smokes.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-35476924


Meanwhile the Dutch are training eagles to take down drones.

http://appleinsider.com/articles/16/02/02/dutch-national-police-working-to-train-anti-drone-eagles


I think a golf playing robot is a perfect metaphor for the sport. And I’ve tried playing golf.

http://www.engadget.com/2016/02/05/golf-bot-sinks-hole-in-one-at-pga-event/


If I had a cat I would build them this cat house that looks like a TARDIS.

https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2016/02/04/doctor-who-tardis-cat-fort-pics/


Does anyone actually want an inflatable lounge seat that looks like a gummy bear? Do I really want to know?

https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2016/02/05/an-inflatable-gummy-bear-lounge-seat/


How about a button-down, plaid shirt with Darth Vader’s head on the back? Anyone?

https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2016/02/05/darth-vader-plaid-button-down-shirt/


Or a smart (American style) football that will track your gridiron accomplishments?

http://www.engadget.com/2016/02/05/wilson-x-connected-football/


A Doctor Who colouring book for adults?

https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2016/02/04/the-doctor-who-coloring-book-for-adults-is-here/
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February 6th is the 37th day of the year and is Ronald Reagan Day in California. If you know someone living in California email them and wish them a happy Ronald Reagan Day and see if they know what your are talking about.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY to:  Queen Anne (b 1665, d 1714), founder of the Illuminati Adam Weishaupt (b 1748, d 1830), Aaron Burr (b 1756, d 1836), Henry Irving (b 1838, d 1905), Isidor Straus, Titanic victim (b 1849, d 1912), Babe Ruth (b 1895, d 1948 . . . hey, I’ve outlived Babe Ruth!!), Ronald Reagan (b 1911, d 2004), Eva Braun (b 1912, d 1945), Mary Leakey (b 1913, d 1996), Zsa Zsa Gabor (b 1917), Patrick Macnee (b 1922, d 2015), Lionel Blue (b 1930), Rip Torn (b 1931), Francois Truffaut (b 1932, d 1984), Leslie Crowther (b 1933, d 1996), Mike Farrell (b 1939), Tom Brokaw (b 1940), Jimmy Tarbuck (b 1940), Bob Marley (b 1945, d 1981), the great Richie Haywood of Little Feat (b 1946, d 2010), the marvellous Kate McGarrigle mother of Rufus Wainwright (b 1946, d 2010), Mike Batt (b 1949), Natalie Cole (b 1950, d 2015), Kevin Whately (b 1951), Jeremy Bowen (b 1960), Axl Rose of Guns N’ Roses (b 1962), Quentin Letts (b 1963), Rick Astley is never gonna let you down (1966).


Rest in peace these folks who died on February 6th: Charles II (b 1630, d 1685), Capability Brown (b 1716, d 1783), Gustav Klimt (b 1862, d 1918), George VI (b 1895, d 1952), Vince Guaraldi composer for the Peanuts TV programmes (b 1928, d 1976), Barbara Tuchman (b 1912, d 1989), Arthur Ashe (b 1943, d 1993), Joseph Cotton (b 1905, d 1994), Carl Wilson of The Beach Boys (b 1946, d 1998), Frankie Laine (b 1913, d 2007),


Some notable events that took place on February 6th: James II becomes king (1685), Singapore is founded (1819, wow, I didn’t know it was that ‘new’), British women over the age of 30 get the right to vote (1918, less than 100 years ago), Elizabeth II becomes queen regnant upon the death of her father (1952), Eight Man U players and 15 passengers are killed in the Munich air disaster (1958).


FUNNIES, ETC

"Unlike the other woman candidate in this race, I actually love spending time with my husband."
— Carly Fiorina referring to Hilary Clinton

"[Our Humvees are] the best in the world, armour-plated, top, bottom, all over. If a bomb goes off, our wounded warriors, instead of losing their legs, their arms, worse, they're okay. They go for a little ride upward, and they come down."
— Donald Trump

"Ted Cruz is a total liar... He's a nasty guy. Nobody likes him."
— Donald Trump

"Based on the fraud committed by Senator Ted Cruz during the Iowa Caucus, either a new election should take place or Cruz results nullified...[He] didn't win Iowa, he stole it."
-- Trump tweets

"I don't care about that anymore...Who cares?
-- Trump, the next day


In case you aren’t already fed up with the circus that is the US Presidential campaign here’s some apps and podcast and even a calendar that can help you follow all the action.

http://9to5mac.com/2016/02/01/how-to-track-2016-us-presidential-election-iphone-ipad-mac/


When a masked man was spotted outside Brickett Elementary School in Lynn, Mass., with a gun, the principal didn’t take any chances: she put the school on lockdown and called 911, even though she “thought the gun might be plastic.” It was, and so was the mask: the man was dressed as a “Star Wars” stormtrooper. “The way things are today, you can’t have that,” said Lynn Police spokesman Lt. Rick Donnelly. George Cross, 40, was arrested and charged with “disturbing a school” and loitering within 1,000 feet of a school, even though, Donnelly admits, “Our feelings are that he was not there to cause harm to the kids.” Cross “used bad judgment,” Donnelly says, which “did cause a disturbance and we can’t tolerate that.” (RC/Salem News)


Donald Trump has been making the U.S. Presidential race into quite a show, and now he’s topping the charts in the world of erotic literature. Comedian Elijah Daniel, 22, wrote the book in four hours while drunk, and now Trump Temptations: The Billionaire & The Bellboy is ranked number 1 in Amazon’s “humorous erotica” and “gay erotica” categories. “With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy cheeto,” one passage reads. Most of the book’s reviews on Amazon give it five stars. “This has to be the single most impressive piece of writing in modern american literary history,” wrote one reviewer. “When I am on my death bed I will be reading this book and my family will say ‘Again?’ and I will say ‘Yes, now and forever’.” Senator Ted Cruz has also has an erotic book written about him: Lacey Noonan’s A Cruzmas Carol: Ted Cruz Takes a Dickens of a Constitutional. (MS/Los Angeles Times)


A couple in Vestavia Hills, Ala., called police after spotting a man in their driveway late at night: he was wearing only a Ronald Reagan Halloween mask and a strategically placed sock. “It was so cold outside” that “police said he wouldn’t last long” without any clothes on, said homeowner Bart Yancey. “I got a chuckle from it later, but at the same time, it’s very concerning,” said his wife, Danielle. “I don’t know what he was planning on doing.” At least, she added, “I don’t think he had a gun on him.” (RC/Birmingham News)


*
Statistics just released from The United Nations B.O.H. Team reveal that British men between 50 and 70 years of age, will, on average, have sex two to three times per week,  (and a small number a lot more) whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.

This has come as very upsetting news to both me and most of my mates, as none of us had any idea we were Japanese.


*
Some quotes about cheese:

A corpse is meat gone bad. Well and what's cheese? Corpse of milk.
     - James Joyce, 1882 - 1941

Explaining something sensible to [former International Olympic Committee president] Lord Killanin is akin to explaining something to a cauliflower. The advantage of the cauliflower is that if all else fails, you can always cover it with melted cheese and eat it.
     - William E Simon, 1927 - 2000

A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman who is missing one eye. [Un dessert sans fromage est une belle à qui il manque un œil.]
     - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, 1755 - 1826

I'm like a good cheese. I'm just getting mouldy enough to be interesting.
     - Paul Newman, 1925 - 2008

The Moon is made of green Cheese.
     - Thomas Fuller, M. D., 1654 - 1734

Cheese is the biscuit of drunkards. [Le fromage est le bisquit des ivrognes]
     - Grimod de la Reyniere, 1758 - 1837

Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
     - Fran Lebowitz


*
(I’m pretty sure I’ve used this one before but it made me smile again.)

Two guys were standing on a crowded bus when one of them gets a big slap across the face from the woman standing next to him.  

His friend asks, "What was that for?!"

The guy says, "Her skirt was stuck in her bum so I pulled it out."

A few seconds go by and WHACK he gets another smack.

The friend says "what was THAT for?!"

"I put it back."


*
(And I’ve probably used this one before as well but this one always makes me smile. I’m going to leave the profanity in but apologies ahead of time.)

Two Irish nuns were sitting at a traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
 
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are— show them your cross."
 
So Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off, ye little fookin wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
 
Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?"


*
(And finally too many bad knock knock jokes.)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee,who?
Anee one you like!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to let me in?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little money for the movies.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Henrietta.
Henrietta who?
Henrietta worm that was in his apple.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue knocked on this door before?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you were home, so I came over!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is between us. Open up!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otto.
Otto who?
Otto know. I’ve got amnesia.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
King Tut.
King Tut who?
King Tut-key fried chicken!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in it’s cold out here.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place we can get something to eat?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin the piggy bank again.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, It’s overflowing!

(Don’t forget, you can prevent this kind of abuse of your time and good nature by sending me much funnier jokes at news@ymug.org. That email again: N E W S at Y M U G dot O R G.)
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Got my sandals on, yahoo!! I feel much better already. When the temperature gets above 50 F I feel good, nah nah nah nah nah, you knew that I would. See yah next week.
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On SATURDAY, JULY 13TH, we're going to have another Coffee Break Meeting in the Mallard Coffee Rooms at the Moorethorpe/South Kirkby rail station on the York to Sheffield line.  Tim Pinder and maybe Anzir will be there from 12 noon 'til 3pm (which is a one hour change from what I said last week).
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