A Zuckerburg Fantasy
A mom and daughter are conversing at the breakfast table one recent morning….
Girl: “Mom, I need you to fill out your Facebook profile and update it.”
Mom: “Why, dear? I really don’t want to put all of my data online.”
Girl: “Mom, I want to find information about where you and Dad went on Vacation last year…”
Mom: “Oh, well why don’t I just tell you about it? We hardly talk these days…”
Girl: “No, mom. Facebook has created Graph Search, and I want to find your information there.”
Mom: “Sweetie, I’d rather just tell you about it, okay? We had such a wonderful ti-
Girl: “No, Mom! I can get more value out of searching for the information of people that are close to me, so I want you to put it up on Facebook, please? Geez, Mom!
Mom: “Why is this so important to you?”
Girl: “Because, Mom! Its SHARING! I want to share your information! I want to be able to tell people all about your vacation! Is that so wrong? Why cant you just cooperate, Mom?
Mom: “Listen dear, your father and I went to some pretty exclusive places, and frankly, I would rather people not know that we can afford such things” Our vacation was private. Now, if you want me to tell your friends, just have them over, and we will have a nice chat. We even have slides!
Girl: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Why do you HATE me MOTHER!?!?!?
Mom: “Oh sweetheart, have you forgotten your bipolar meds this morning?”
Girl: “Look MOTHER…. Facebook NEEDS your information. If you don’t fill in your updates, then search is WORTHLESS! Facebook will not be able to tell me stuff about you and then place relevant advertisements on my wall that denote my status…(hyperventilating) I need you to fill out that profile, and I need it NOW!
Mom: “Sweetie, I think maybe we need to give Facebook a rest. Why not take a break from it, and let’s see if you can invoke some of those coping skills we worked on….”
Mom: “Put down the gun, dear…”