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A Zuckerburg Fantasy

A mom and daughter are conversing at the breakfast table one recent morning….

Girl: “Mom, I need you to fill out your Facebook profile and update it.”

Mom: “Why, dear? I really don’t want to put all of my data online.”

Girl: “Mom, I want to find information about where you and Dad went on Vacation last year…”

Mom: “Oh, well why don’t I just tell you about it? We hardly talk these days…”

Girl: “No, mom.  Facebook has created Graph Search, and I want to find your information there.”

Mom: “Sweetie, I’d rather just tell you about it, okay? We had such a wonderful ti-

Girl: “No, Mom!  I can get more value out of searching for the information of people that are close to me, so I want you to put it up on Facebook, please? Geez, Mom!

Mom: “Why is this so important to you?”

Girl: “Because, Mom! Its SHARING! I want to share your information! I want to be able to tell people all about your vacation! Is that so wrong? Why cant you just cooperate, Mom? 

Mom: “Listen dear, your father and I went to some pretty exclusive places, and frankly, I would rather people not know that we can afford such things” Our vacation was private. Now, if you want me to tell your friends, just have them over, and we will have a nice chat. We even have slides!

Girl: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Why do you HATE me MOTHER!?!?!?

Mom: “Oh sweetheart, have you forgotten your bipolar meds this morning?” 

Girl: “Look MOTHER…. Facebook NEEDS your information. If you don’t fill in your updates, then search is WORTHLESS! Facebook will not be able to tell me stuff about you and then place relevant advertisements on my wall that denote my status…(hyperventilating) I need you to fill out that profile, and I need it NOW! 

Mom: “Sweetie, I think maybe we need to give Facebook a rest. Why not take a break from it, and let’s see if you can invoke some of those coping skills we worked on….”

*Click-Click*

Mom: “Put down the gun, dear…” 
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16 comments
 
A Zuckerburg Fantasy? I'm not so sure this isn't a reality in some households....
 
what the hell is this? The cult of fb???
 
I know people who are nose deep in facebook during every waking moment of their lives. You'd think they'd find things like eating, church, school, work, etc. more meaningful than explaining how they feel about it every 20 secs on their wall. Its too bad I haven't figured a sneaky way of jamming cell and wifi signals otherwise I'd slap that on their back and stopwatch how long it'll take them to suffocate from not being able to post from their smartphone and laptop.
 
Laughing my ass off......it is worth spelling it out.....
 
Reminds me of somebody in my family that decided to include me and my wife in their checkins. Told them to quit that crap immediately.
 
This is a bad as those "Christmas Letters". A member of my family likes to send them out and include information about other family members lives (i.g. mine). I told him immediately to cease and desist. What happens in my life is of no concern to his contacts.
 
Yep... Makes the whole  "I don't like Mondays" scenario sound so 20th century.
 
I know a few people (very few) who share too much on Facebook. Other than those few (maybe 8-10), everyone else is like the folks I follow on Google+. They share some interesting bits, pictures, and articles with the occasional funny story about something that happened in their lives.

Honestly, from the standpoint of what the people I follow are doing and posting, Facebook and Google+ are virtually identical. Maybe I just pick my friends more carefully than others.
 
Shudder!!  And I know plenty of FB peeps who share virtually EVERYTHING there....and the younger Gen might not even know how to NOT share there (especially after reading this mock-conversation!!).  I am slowly withdrawing from FB...but my privacy settings have been tight from the get-go (Friends only! No public search, etc.)....so now I am glad that I started out ..paranoid.
 
THAT... was awesome. 

Seriously. I'm pretty sure that's soooooo real in some places. It's painful actually to know that people are THAT clueless about life. 
 
They were probably sitting around the kitchen table,  Mum on Laptop,  daughter on phone,  chatting to each-other on Farcebook,   lol. 
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