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ska kumar
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Deborah Tannen’s That’s Not What I Meant and You Just Don’t Understand – reflect this frustration. Using metaphors for the power balance or imbalance between men and women – such as “the gender wars” or the “battle of the sexes” – pits one against the other

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"You need to be seen as someone who knows their stuff cold and can go three to four questions deep in the their domain."

It is about what you signal, the impressions you give," Hewlett says. "It's not about performance. It's about when you're given the chance at the next opportunity, and of course that's a big part of whether you'll succeed or not."

To send those signals, do the following:

1. Look polished. If you look unkempt, you don't look capable.

2. Know what you're going to say before you say it. If you don't speak with clarity, people simply won't listen to you.

3. Show some cultural fluency. Adapt your speaking style to your environment, whether Wall Street, Silicon Valley, or points in between.

For more see

5 Keys To Making A Great First Impression
By
economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett.

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On this vijayadasami may we be blessed with ability to see right perspective from all angles..
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It is said , To put it simply, at the end of each year Jack Welch while being CEO if General Electric, would fire his least-performing 10% of managers, put 70% into training and education, and offer stock options and rewards to the top 20%.

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5 Essential People Skills by Dale Carnegie -is step-by-step guide to mastering rapport building, curiosity, communication, ambition, and conflict resolution.

Many people feel awkward in certain situations – a handicap that can prevent them from moving ahead personally and professionally

Assertiveness – the ability to speak and act in ways that naturally cause people to respond attentively and positively Resist the pressure and dominance of aggressive people. Stand up for one’s beliefs. Maintain control in important situations
.
Prepare with self-reflection. The first step toward becoming an assertive person is recognizing and analyzing the way you behave.
Conduct an honest self-assessment. People should begin by listing their positive and negative traits as well as their desired traits,
Assess the outer world, particularly the specific situations that bear on career success.
Take the road test. Pick a manageable set of circum-stances that demand assertiveness on which to test the skills learned.

Real leadership is inclusive and proactive. It does not dominate nonassertive people. It includes them and it involves them. Dominance as a management style is ineffective in almost all circumstances.

Building rapport involves connecting with someone else. Doing so depends on establishing a relation ship of mutual liking and trust.
Smiling and being positive. Smiling not only elicits a positive reaction from others, it also increases the production of neurotransmitters in the brain.
Speaking up.Assertive people know to vary their voice quality to build rapport in different types of situations and modulate volume, pace, and inflection
Being specific when asserting ideas Before giving any kind of constructive criticism or feedback, assertive people should make sure their motives are pure and not intended to manipulate
Speaking effectively about one’s own accomplish ments -not to embellish or dramatize the facts.

Cultivating assertive silence.In a business setting, silence does not necessarily reflect anger or clamming up
Preventing leaks :Rather than leak ing impatience, a manager would be better served by stating openly, “I hate to cut our meeting short, but I have another meeting in just a few minutes.”

Curiosity can be of tremendous benefit to any manager who knows how to ignite the inborn curiosity of his or her team

1. Make assertive curiosity an emotional experience. People who make assertive curiosity an emotional experience demonstrate passion
2. See yourself as a student and purveyor of knowledge
3. Engage in interactive listening. incl , questioning, responding, and remembering that all human beings are different.
4. Be interactive without an agenda. Ask abour personal ife of your team
5. Share personal stories with flair.
6. Use humor. Assertively curious people are often very honest about how much they do not know.
7. Recognize what others need to learn.
8. Reinforce curiosity with institutional support -nothing works in vacuum
9. Mentor by senior management.
10. Create a fun environment.

1. Maintaining frequent and continuous contact with team members -Having all team members get together informally once a week – 20 to 30 minutes before work, for example – to catch up with one another personally and professionally can enhance the assertive curiosity of the team as a whole
2. Managing time effectively. Every discussion of workplace issues should address the amount of time needed to complete a task.
3. Seeking help from management. Resources and freedom
4. Setting goals. All employees need to identify SPECIFIC goals in at least six areas: work, family, finances, health, education, and spirituality.

In any business setting, the person who seems most mature always comes out best. If you pout and whine or throw a tantrum, you’ll be on the losing end of the encounter.

Communication -Knowing how to deal with people -you are not dealing with creatures of logic but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with projective and motivated by pride and vanity
1. Call people by name.
2. Admit making a mistake.
3. Trust in other people’s ability to do the best job possible
4. Show sincere interest in colleagues
5. Offer specific rather than general praise ,genuinely
6. Avoid making promises that cannot be fulfilled.
7. Show gratitude -thank for favor, and offer to do something in return
8. Be considerate. Undersntad anothers point of view
9. OFfer to Help others.
10. Be humble.Play down successes and credit the team
11. Help others save face It happens to the best of us”

10-step list helps business people become persuasive:
Build trust.
Find common ground.
Structure the information that forms the basis of the argument.
Show both sides.
Appeal to self-interest.
Appeal to authority.
Create consensus.
Time requests so that they come at good times for the person or people you are trying to persuade.
Be original, interesting, reasonable, diplomatic, and humble.
Use persuasion sparingly.

Both the good thing and the bad thing about business Relationships is that they’re basically unsentimental. Business friendships are mainly significant when everything is going well. When problems arise in the workplace, it’s amazing how fast good buddies can become strangers

Leaders can maximize the positive energy of ambition of everyone on their teams

Create a culture of learning, so that team members are constantly exposed to the latest industry trends, research, techniques, and tools.
Attend and send team members to seminars and training programs
Have attendees share what they learned with the rest of the team and put it to use

Angry conflict is inherently negative and unproductive in a business setting

Make an honest assessment of the source of conflict.
Do not point fingers or call names.
Exercise restraint during arguments.
Keep the focus on the present and the future; do not make references to the past.
Avoid using words or phrases that tend to perpetuate problems, such as “You always do that.”
Make sure that body language, words, and voice tone match.
Maintain eye contact without staring or glaring.
Make an effort to sound positive and enthusiastic.
Smile and look confident no matter how tense the discussion becomes
Be gracious. Do not flaunt a favorable resolution
Whatever the outcome of the conflict, write a sincere note to the other side in a positive and conciliatory tone

Good negotiation creates this sense of a “win-win” situation
Make a commitment to a win-win approach. Assume responsibility for a positive outcome by adopting a positive mindset and a sense of self-empowerment
Clarify what is sought and why. Distinguish between real and superficial wants and needs
Have a clear Plan B (the walk-away position). Be prepared to abandon negotiations if a suitable compromise cannot be found.

In the Mudgala Purana, Ganesha takes eight forms to destroy eight demons, each demon representing a disruptive emotional state. 
Vakratunda (god with curved trunk) rides a lion to kill Matsara, the demon of jealousy 
Ekadanta (god with one tusk) rides a rat to kill Mada, the demon of vanity  
Mahodara (god with great belly) rides a rat to kill Moha, the demon of attachment 
Gajanana (god with elephant head) rides a rat to kill Lobha, the demon of greed
Lambodara (god with pot belly) rides a rat to kill Krodha, the demon of rage 
Vikata (god with deformed body) rides a peacock to overpower Kama, the lord of lust  
Vighnaraja (master of obstacles ) rides a serpent to kill Mama, the demon of self indulgence  
Dhumravarna (smoke-colored god) rides a rat to kill Ahamkara, the demon of arrogance
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