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The Smew
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Canada's Pre-eminent News Source

The Smew was founded in 1789 by the fabled French-Canadian fur trapper and frontier journalist, Alois d’Oiseaux, back when Toronto was just another brothel stop on the so-called “beaver trail” from Montreal to Sudbury. Originally intended as simply a way to publish the names of women with venereal diseases and the birthdays of prominent livestock, The Smew soon grew to become one of Canada’s largest news outlets named after a small duck.

Now read by literally hundreds of Canadians, The Smew provides trenchant daily analysis of Canadian culture, politics, and sport. The Smew was purchased in 2008 by Conrad Black from his current media headquarters in the Coleman Federal Correctional Complex, cell 18003, and outsourced in 2011 to the Ramachandra News & Laundry Group, Mumbai, India. Readers may contact Ms. Shivali Shakuntala, Department of Canadian Telemarketing and Dry Cleaning with any questions.