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Geraldine DeRuiter
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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They don't make brain cancer greeting cards, so I made some in honor of my friend Chad's fourth brain surgery. 

http://bit.ly/BrainCards
Zombie finger puppets that I sent Chad, because I have a warped sense of humor. Exactly three years ago, I had brain surgery for the first and only time. Last week, my friend Chad had his fourth brain surgery. We started writing to one another during that strange, pivotal summer three years ago.
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wishing him good luck....
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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The perfect dress for when "you’re a bridesmaid at a mass cult wedding."

I rant about ugly travel clothes. 

http://bit.ly/NylonHell
When I'm not complaining about things that I have voluntarily brought upon myself, or tormenting my husband, I'm a travel writer. Since my beloved refuses to check luggage, a large portion of my time on the road is spent washing my underwear in the hotel sink and sniffing my shirts to see if ...
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how are you
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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“If we give it a cute name and cater to a dietary restriction that we’ve convinced them they have, they’ll pay $8 for muffins that taste like wood pulp.”
Nearly every week, I engage in the same stupidity. I refer not to my tendency to watch DVR'd episodes of American Idol for hours on end (long after, I should note, the phone lines for voting have closed, making my behavior particularly inexplicable, even by reality TV standards).
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Well, I'm not totally convinced.  I shop there for some products which I feel simply taste the best.  And, I like some of their produce because I think it is very good quality.  I've never gotten a product that tastes like wood pulp and I've never paid $8 for a muffin.  
Sorry, but my experience has been different.
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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"Just take a hammer to your knees and cut out the middle man." 
As my recent foray into Paleo eating suggests, I've tried (and triumphantly failed) to be healthier. A big component of that failure isn't just that I like eating things made primarily of butter – it has to do with my woeful attempts at exercise. I regularly take classes that, had I known what I ...
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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"'Oh, god. What did I do?'

I didn’t answer. I just started laughing maniacally. Surprisingly, my cackling like a Bond villain did nothing to do calm him down."

http://bit.ly/1HL2JQG
“Why … why would you do this?” BECAUSE I CARE, RAND. BECAUSE I CARE. Someone once told me that the key to any lasting marriage is honesty, which is maybe true for, like, the Pilgrims, or any other archaic religious group that doesn't believe in the real secret to marriage: passive aggressiveness ...
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Sorry +Geraldine DeRuiter, this time +Rand Fishkin is getting my attention! :)
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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"Even though cavemen had no birth control or Penicillin or dental floss, and everyone was probably covered in lice, they were super cut and sexy and that’s a lifestyle to which we should aspire."

http://bit.ly/PaleoSucks
Recently, I went pseudo Paleo. I say pseudo, because, like most things in my life, I've jumped in headfirst without putting any thought or research into it (this is also how I ended up taking a workout class called “Insanity.” Afterwards, I was drooling and delirious. So I guess it delivered).
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Hilarious! Thanks for the larfs. =)
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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In case you're having trouble putting into words today's emotions, I've compiled a few gifs that might help.  #SCOTUS #MarriageEquality

http://bit.ly/LoveReigns
8 Gifs That Sum Up My Reaction to The Supreme Court Ruling on Gay Marriage. Posted on: Jun 26 2015. Posted in: Awesome » Nothing to Do With Travel. Comments: 6. Because sometimes words don't cut it and you just want to run around, eating rainbow colored cupcakes while crying and calling everyone ...
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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I made Father's Day cards for those of us Hallmark has forgotten.

Father's Day Cards For Broken People: 

http://bit.ly/DadIssues
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"Most of the exercises seem like grotesque attempts at simulating childbirth. At some point, I may have blacked out."
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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"Don’t you even think about telling me that 'raisins are nature’s candy.'

That's like saying that dysentery is 'nature’s hot new celebrity diet' or human testicles are 'nature’s cat toy.'"

I get rageful over Raisinets:

http://bit.ly/NoRaisins
Dear Nestlé Corporation,. I am writing to you on behalf of my husband, Rand, even though he has disavowed any knowledge of this letter, and refuses to be held accountable for 'the shit that I do when I am bored.' But I am certain that he would agree with everything I am about to say.
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It's a raisin revolt! They are attempting to escape from the factory! 
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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"Whether or not your thighs touch is not a useful barometer for anything unless you are a cat burglar who really wants to wear corduroy pants."

My treatise on the evils of fashion magazines.

http://bit.ly/stabbymags
Sometimes, during our travels, I will purchase a fashion magazine at the airport. It's a terrible idea: they're expensive and they don't make me feel good about myself, but for some reason, I keep buying them (note: this also applies to skinny jeans and ten-pack-passes to barre class.
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MyCastleHeart's profile photoJan Wildeboer's profile photoIvan Makfinsky's profile photoAssia Alexandrova's profile photo
 
Quote of the week right there. Miss ya, lady.
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Geraldine DeRuiter

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BABY OWLS. BABY OWLS. BABY FRIGGIN OWLS. 

http://bit.ly/1PKSjKr
I was tempted to once again use last week's gimmick – of attempting to write about the Holy Grail, but getting distracted by my fascination with flightless birds – at the beginning of this post. But I didn't want to exhaust the joke and besides, I don't need any pretense here: this post is about ...
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In her circles
271 people
Have her in circles
7,864 people
Sid Rawan's profile photo
jenny Huong's profile photo
Joemel Garcia's profile photo
hasan nabati's profile photo
mohamed berrahmoune's profile photo
Farmacia Ribera's profile photo
Ryan Cox's profile photo
said Dehani's profile photo
Merab Nergadze's profile photo
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Writer. Blogger. Snack-enthusiast. Read about my adventures on Everywhereist.com
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