IF ... if you find yourself shopping and you're pushing around a cart and, hey, there's a friend you haven't seen in, like, ages. What do you do when you decide to stop and chat with them? Or, what if you've got a lot of groceries, do you take two carts and dominate the flow of traffic? How about Sunday shoppers... too unaware for their own good?
Here is my simple process for efficient shopping: Follow the Rules of the Road or, perhaps, simple common courtesy. Here are a few things that I expect from my fellow social contract bondee's.
Aisles are Two Way Streets
Unless otherwise designated, aisles can usually handle two carts abreast and a little room to maneuver. Now, when I say abreast—and I'll avoid a euphemistic play on all of this—I don't want to see two carts traveling the same speed and facing the same direction. Even if you think you have room: nope, don't do it.
Follow whatever paradigm is active in your country. In mine, I always stay in the right lane while driving. And responsible, licensing wielding adults should chose (wisely) to do the same, or I am gonna block your ass and glare at you threateningly as my part of said social contract requires.
SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT!
It's the law. Well, it is in my state. Though, I doubt you'll see that enforced much, but in all seriousness, get the hell over!
If you stop, pull your cart off to the side and be sure to stagger where you stop if there is an adjacent cart. If you see someone, treat it like a mobile phone call in your car, in somewhere like California or whatever; if you're chatting with someone, pull off to the side of the road or ... talk to them later. This is where common sense, a healthy level of personal awareness of one's surroundings, and common damn courtesy come in.
And, seriously, if you're that oblivious, maybe you shouldn't be out in public. Maybe I'll ram you just to get my point across. But no, the social contract says I'll grunt a little, give you a vacant half smile, and eventually realize that you really just don't give a damn about anyone you may be inconveniencing. This is your shopping experience, after all. I can't tell you how many swear words are sprouting in my mind, both real and imagined... just like the tortures I'm contriving while in the midst of said experiences.
Let's just say, you better thank the powers-that-be that I have violent video games to come home to.
Don't Drive Drunk
You'd think they would have gotten arrested on the way here, but no. They must not drive like they shop. Or do they? Seriously, because these are two lane roads, the more times you wander over that invisible line, the less cognitive resources I have to deal with your crap. And this is especially true with the aforementioned "two abreast" rule.
Yeah, it's nice to talk with your friend/partner/soulmate/spouse/roommate or whatever while you shop. I don't judge. However, you better believe I'm judging you as you back up everyone behind you with your lackadaisical approach at life, er, shopping.
If you switch lanes randomly in high traffic aisles. That's a double yellow! NO! I will literally double park this whole damn aisle just to prove my point as I ... grab some shelf stable Chef Boyardee mystery meat ravioli's. (Because who actually buys those?) And I'll be what you've made me become. And as you look at me all "inconvenienced". I'll give you my socially acceptable glare of vacant discontent as a reflection of the darkness in your very own soul.
Common sense says, be a defensive shopper, but also be a courteous shopper. There's a saying that seems to sum it up to me: You are not the center of the whole damn universe. And I mean you, those who feel that you are the rock around which everyone flows, and anyone who crashes onto you be damned. You were here first... weren't you?
Huh, well, I guess this very well could be the general reflection of our social expectations in this world where we live. Sorry if I hurt your feelings in this personal outburst, but ... as Batman says.