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Jim Petersen
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I'm happily married to Sally. We made an experimental getaway to an ocean view in Oregon to write, keep in shape, travel and play at being retired.
I'm happily married to Sally. We made an experimental getaway to an ocean view in Oregon to write, keep in shape, travel and play at being retired.

155 followers
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I'm pleased that nearly 23K people have taken a look at what I've learned about life and getting along better through listening and counseling. Exciting and scary. 
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Thanks John, great post and fine way for Obama to get to young people and the rest of us
Obama knows how to build a brand

You can love or hate Obama. Either way you cannot escape the fact that the man knows how to build a #personalbrand . This appearance on +The Colbert Report is just one of the many things he has done to build his brand using the platforms that his audience, the younger generation, enjoys: social media, funny/ironic news sources, etc.

The fact that he can laugh at himself...

Reduces his status as president and heightens his identification as human. Appearances like these #humanize  the president, a traditionally rather unreachable and separated entity. Obama (and his marketing team of course) see that the younger generation want to be lead by human beings... So that's what Obama is attempting to show he is. A smart move in my opinion. 
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+Gordon Grose Amen to that! Job's friends were great when they sat for seven days with him without saying a word. Then they blew it. They started talking when they should have been listening to what was going on in him. Mouthing religious platitudes when others are in pain is akin to saying, "have a nice day" to a drowning person. We so often confuse helping others with giving advice. Helping usually just means biting our tongues and listening. 
Minimizing Grief and Loss

"Life's not that bad," I said to the suicidal hospital patient. Instead of responding as I intended, she only bawled louder. What had I done? Job's friend does the same thing.

Don't make the same mistake! Here's why what I said so devastated my patient and a helpful video from +The American Academy of Grief Counseling.

How have people minimized your grief and loss? How did you respond?
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+John Ellis I support anyone praying anywhere, anytime on their own. But don't want a teacher or a school system deciding what brand of prayer to use and don't like using any brand of Christianity to sell anything. 
I try not to poke fun.. but seriously...
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Thanks +Heidi Cohen and +Penny Sansevieri for sharing this great list of tips to increase blog reach. really useful and practical. 
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Christmas Expectations & the Blues

Thanks +Brian Mitchell & +Kathleen Colvin  and others for sharing the Winter Expectations and Reality cartoons. They beautifully illustrate my experience with holiday expectations that set us up to be let down.

We look forward to getting along better and being looked after and Instead, we end up deciphering electronic gadget instructions at 2 a.m., stressing over specialty meals and paying off our credit cards.

Our expectations don't pan out, yielding frustration, anger and the holiday blues that surround Christmas for so many of us. It ranges from feeling a little down, to sapping joy, to having a tough time facing a day, to considering suicide.

We've all either been there or close to someone who has.

If you or someone you know is struggling with being down over the holidays, check my Blog: Managing Holiday Blues & Depression at:
      http://petersenjim.seowise.co/

#xmas  
#listen
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Christmas Expectations & the Blues

Thanks +Brian Mitchell +Kathleen Colvin and others for sharing the Winter Expectations and Reality cartoons. They beautifully illustrate my experience with holiday expectations that set us up to be let down.

We look forward to getting along better and being looked after and Instead, we end up deciphering electronic gadget instructions at 2 a.m., stressing over specialty meals and paying off our credit cards.

Our expectations don't pan out, yielding frustration, anger and the holiday blues that surround Christmas for so many of us. It ranges from feeling a little down, to sapping joy, to having a tough time facing a day, to considering suicide.

We've all either been there or close to someone who has.

If you or someone you know is struggling with being down over the holidays, check my Blog: Managing Holiday Blues & Depression at:
       http://petersenjim.seowise.co/
#xmas  
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Christmas Expectations & the Blues

Thanks +Brian Mitchell +Kathleen Colvin and others for sharing the Winter Expectations and Reality cartoons. They beautifully illustrate my experience with holiday expectations that set us up to be let down.

We look forward to getting along better and being looked after and Instead, we end up deciphering electronic gadget instructions at 2 a.m., stressing over specialty meals and paying off our credit cards.

Our expectations don't pan out, yielding frustration, anger and the holiday blues that surround Christmas for so many of us. It ranges from feeling a little down, to sapping joy, to having a tough time facing a day, to considering suicide.

We've all either been there or close to someone who has.

If you or someone you know is struggling with being down over the holidays, check my Blog: Managing Holiday Blues & Depression at:
       http://petersenjim.seowise.co/

#seow
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What a great idea for making Thanksgiving real. 
A Little Goes a Very Long Way

This video is truly awesome. More multi million dollar companies should do this. Honestly, what is a few hundred dollars a day to a company that brings in over $10k in profits (per store!)

#youtube  
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+Mark Traphagen  In the SEOWISE +John Ellis  group we talked about publishing helpful listening skills useful when a crisis has upset people pretty seriously. I've attached a piece taking this issue on as people usually ask the wrong question of themselves. I hope your find this worthy of thinking about and sharing.  

TOO OFTEN WE TALK WHEN WE SHOULD BE LISTENING... On the heels of tragedy come a chorus of questions, “WHAT DO WE SAY?"

... To a child or adult after a horrific loss? To someone who’s lost a loved one? To a child who’s afraid to go to school? To parents who fear that schools are not safe? To anyone impacted by a crisis?”

As soon as we frame the question we get anxious, because we don’t have an answer and fear that there is no answer that will work.  And we’re right, talking won’t do it, from “Percentages tell us that schools are safe,” to “We’ll buy you another dog,” to “You’re young yet and you’ll find another love.” Such assurances (even religious ones) on the heels of crisis are glib and at best, useless.

Why doesn’t such reassurance work? It’s because it comes too soon and it is talking, when we should be listening. When people cry out, “Why did this have to happen?” They are not asking a question for information and they are not ready to listen. They are in pain and crying out to be heard not to be told stuff.

Now you may have some really helpful information to share, but bite your tongue and hold it until it’s your turn, that is, after they have been acknowledged, heard and know that they are understood.

My rule in a crisis is, LISTEN FIRST - TALK SECOND. (Check the Talker-Listener Cards below for the roles.) If you acknowledge their fears, their pain, their losses, their hurts, their confusion, their anger, etc. first, then they may calm enough to at some point to hear what you have to say. And another important piece, when you have listened first, you may find that your first answers really didn’t fit and you'll have time to come up with something to say that might actually be helpful.

Mostly folks who are in pain over a tragedy need the surrounding kind of love that comes through being heard, that is, listening, not talking.
 
#listening  
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