Andrew Coonts: Hi Alex. My name is Andrew. I am 34 years old, living in Arizona. At the age of twenty, I was diagnosed with HIV also. The shock I felt inside mixed with struggling to accept most of the people in my life who I thought were real true friends, totally abandoned me. Often times abruptly and even in a public setting on more than just one occasion. I became beyond depressed, hating the world and myself too, and told myself that having HIV was my way out. That I would never seek treatment and die of AIDS, hence my opportunity to leave this miserable world... Guaranteed! I was quite comfortable accepting that not only was that exactly how my story would end, but that I was in control of ensuring my death much sooner than later. So... Here I am 14 years later... Guess what? I have yet to take one single pill or seek treatment. That is, until about 9 months ago when I got a raging infection suddenly. I lay helpless and alone in bed for days, refusing to go to the er. The pain I had riddled every nerve in my body, and I swelled up so badly I couldn't move at all. Not even to use the bathroom. I lay there helpless and paralysed. My eye lids were the only part of my body I could control. But after sobbing for days on end, I couldn't see through the junk all my tears created, because I was unable to wipe them away. My life began to flash before my cloudy eyes. Good times and bad. Mostly bad though. This was the death I prescribed for myself all those years ago, and welcomed. Damn. I never imagined how absolutely fucking devastating and painful and scary, my death was actually gonna be. But I took comfort knowing that my anguish and despair was finally almost over. I lay there a few more days. My swelling receded enough that I started moving my body again. To my dismay after all that. I ended up in the hospital. I have full blown AIDS now. My t-cells are at 136. And I just recently was diagnosed with several different opportunistic infections, due to onset of AIDS. My doctor sent me for more bloodwork. 23 viles they sucked out of my body. Results are pending still. I go in one week to get results and start a rigorous treatment regimen. Why? I'm not sure either. My doctor said i had a maximum of 6 months to live without treatment. Though she told me I could die at any moment. So here I sit awaiting my appointment. My nerves so riddled with neuropathy that that i feel pins and needles throughout all my body. That never goes away. My dexterity is shot as I havent had feeling in my fingertips or toes for many years now. I can't feel things that I try to pick up with my hands at all now. And my body goes thru episodes where my muscle spasms get so bad that my hands and arms and legs and feet begin to curl up into themselves uncontrollably. It hurts really bad sometimes. I was kinked up for over 24 hours straight last time. Until a friend brought me a fat joint and held it to my lips and made me smoke the whole thing. Within 20 minutes the spasms stopped. By the next day I was able to walk again. Anyway. I'm really fucking scared, man. My friends and almost my entire family even have deserted me. My doctor said that the meds could still possibly save my life. Extend it for even 20 more years, with the right regimen. But she said that meds might actually overload my organs with so many toxins that the drugs used to save me, would actually end up shutting down my organs. I have a20% chance of my body tolerating and improving eventually. But that it too wouldn't last long. And at my late progression stage, starting a new regimen has less than 10% chance of working at all. 90% chance that new meds could very likely kill me within moments or hours of taking them. She ended by saying in her experience, someone riddled with disease and toxins, as i am, won't survive for more than 2-3 years. And with a miserable quality of life. She apologized for being so abrupt. But that I need to arrange my final wishes asap. She prepared me for how awful is gonna be. Some patients lose all ability to communicate entirely. And even scarier, are often aware of how wasted really are, though helpless to do a thing about it. I'm terrified. Please text me. I really would like to talk to you. I know how off the wall it is having some stranger spilling his life tragedy to You, must be. But your videos touched me. Because YOU still have a chance at living a kind of normal life. You are young and very good looking, and deserve to live. I could have too. I hope to hear from you. 602-726-2664. Again my name is Andrew. Thanks for your time.
