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Mason Burhmaster
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Masonic-themed dating site debuts
San Francisco, CA - A local San Francisco Lodge member is looking for love, and has figured out that the best place to begin is right in Lodge! MasonsOnly.com, the only online dating site "by Masons for Masons," made its debut earlier this week. The site, r...
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Lodge offers lowest dues in country; switches to service-based pricing model
Dallas, TX - A local Lodge is making waves by offering the lowest Masonic dues rate in the entire country and switching to a fee-for-service or microtransaction business model popularized by corporations like Southwest Airlines and Electronic Arts. Bro. Joe...
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Local Masonic Lodge 'Steals Away' Elks Lodge Secretary
DAYTON, OH—In a surprising move, Dayton Lodge No. 167 has now elected the longtime secretary of Elks Lodge No. 76. "We can not be happier," Worshipful Master Rod Fordham said. "We got Brother Plackett through the degrees as fast as possible. Anyone who has ...
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Local Brother Denied Masonic Wedding Cake
DODGE CITY, KS – Local Freemason Kevin Leavens has found
himself entirely without a Masonic Wedding cake after having been denied by yet
another local bakery.  “It just seems unfair,” bemoaned a visibly troubled Leavens.
“I mean, I spend thousands of dollar...
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Big changes coming to the Northern Masonic Jurisdiction, and you'll never guess what they are!
Lexington,  MA - Scottish Rite members have been on the edge of their seats since the Northern Masonic Jurisdiction began pushing out cryptic videos last month. These videos tease something just around the corner, “Not just a man, a Mason” fades in and out....
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Lodge turns to psychadelics to enhance Masonic experience
Memphis, TN - A local Masonic Lodge has turned to psychotropic substances in an effort to enhance its members' Masonic experiences. Worshipful Brother Joe Snow, Master of Acacia-Ayahuasca Lodge No. 9, suggested his Lodge members imbibe Dimethyltryptamine (a...
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Grand Master moves to posthumously expel George Washington
Alexandria, VA - In a shocking turn of events, The Past Bastard has learned that Most Worshipful Vermin Crook, the Grand Master of Virginia, has put forward plans to
posthumously expel George Washington from membership in Freemasonry.
Sources close to the...
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Grand Lodge Announces "Celebrating the Kraft"
Northfield, IL - Not to be outdone by the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite Southern Jurisdiction, which held its annual "Celebrating the Craft" event--a combination telethon and talent show, slapped together with the special effects and charisma of a reru...
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Grand Lodge pulls recognition from Cuba after negotiations stall over "clandestine" cigars
Havana, Cuba - Relations between the Grand Lodge of Cuba and the Grand Lodge of Florida are on the rocks again as the Grand Lodge of Florida last week rescinded recognition of the Grand Lodge of Cuba, reportedly due to stalled negotiations on the quality of...
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Grand Lodge pulls recognition from Cuba after negotiations stall over "clandestine" cigars
Havana, Cuba - Relations between the Grand Lodge of Cuba and the Grand Lodge of Florida are on the rocks again as the Grand Lodge of Florida last week rescinded recognition of the Grand Lodge of Cuba, reportedly due to stalled negotiations on the quality of...
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