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E.J. Patten
Works at Phineas T. Pimiscule Chair of Snares at Arkhon Academy
Attended Academy of Legend
Lived in Silverdale
1,250 followers|32,338 views
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E.J. Patten

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I blogged. Follow the link to find out how Charlie from "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory" faired as a CEO, and how Mogli from "The Jungle Book" is doing after that public urination scandal.
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E.J. Patten

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For your enjoyment and/or humiliating scorn...
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E.J. Patten

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Today is launch day for THE LEGEND THIEF! I've now raised over $3.72 for my new toupee. Honestly, I couldn't be more proud. 
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Sophia Rose's profile photoJuliana Montgomery's profile photo
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Looks fantastic.  Definitely the best color.
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E.J. Patten

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A very funny short story I found on Project Gutenberg, written by Philip K. Dick.
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_'The Girl With Many Eyes
One day in the park
I had quite a surprise.
I met a girl
who had many eyes.

She was really quite pretty
(and also quite shocking!)
and I noticed she had a mouth,
so we ended up talking.

We talked about flowers,
and her poetry classes,
and the problems she'd have
if she ever wore glasses.

It's great to know a girl
who has so many eyes,
but you really get wet
when she breaks down and cries.'_
- Tim Burton
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Intercontinental quantum information exchange on the horizon
Distance record (60 miles) broken and new record set — physicists have teleported quantum information 89 miles. Researchers think that exploiting quantum entanglement could lead to virtually instantaneous data transmission.
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E.J. Patten

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I finally posted a book group discussion guide for RETURN TO EXILE on my blog today. Several people asked for it. Now you have it. Enjoy, world!
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Have him in circles
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E.J. Patten

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A post about curiosity and toast.
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Love the book selections at Deseret Book. Big fan of Brandon Mull and i love grabbing something new there.
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E.J. Patten

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"The Hunter Chronicles, Book 2: The Legend Thief" comes out on March 5, 2013. The King's English bookstore is hosting a launch party, so stop by if you're in the Salt Lake City, Utah area. 
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My laziest post ever. Seriously, it's just a link to another post. The other post, however, is new and possibly worth reading if you're desperately bored.
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The Utah Valley Writers Workshop is this weekend (7/27/12 and 7/28/12) and I'm doing the Friday keynote presentation (3 hours long!). The event is co-sponsored by iWriteNetwork and the Alpine School District. The workshop costs $50 and includes lunch. You can also get state recertification/lane change credit (if you're a teacher) OR Southern Utah University course credit (optional, with a $15 fee). See my blog for more information. Hope to see you there!
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I'm signing at the Provo Utah Library today at 1 for Children's Book Week. The event starts at 12 with a keynote by the author of Skippyjon Jones and goes until 4. There will be lots of authors and illustrators at this event, including Brandon Mull, Jessica Day George, and others. From what I hear, this is a big event that thousands will attend. If that's not enough to entice you, I'm being interviewed by a puppet on the main stage at 3:45.
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Have him in circles
1,250 people
Evan Dictor's profile photo
Tameka Mullins's profile photo
Archy Fantasies's profile photo
Samuel Mackrill's profile photo
Coral Sheldon-Hess's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Author
Employment
  • Phineas T. Pimiscule Chair of Snares at Arkhon Academy
    Sturgeon of words. Wait, did I say sturgeon? I meant surgeon. I'm a surgeon of words. I'm an author, not a fish (though I worked as a fishmonger for a time), 1595 - present
  • The Gibbering Pool of Unhelpful Insights
    Fishmonger, 1491
  • Army of Legend
    Personal Assistant to the Lord of Darkness and Chief Coupon Clipper. Worst job I ever had. You can't imagine how cheap the Lord of Darkness is--wouldn't buy a slice of bread if he didn't have a coupon of at least thirty percent off. Not to mention that he eats your fingers if you clip outside the lines (seriously, I'm typing this with my eyebrows and they're not even MY eyebrows, which got eaten after I got finger blood on a Sizzler coupon. No, the eyebrows are Mark Twain's, because there are some things even the Lord of Darkness won't touch), 426
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Previously
Silverdale - Port Orchard - Mesa - Pittsburgh - Bozeman - Salt Lake City - New Braunfels - Exile - Whimple - The Mountains of Moldy Foreboding - Windenshum
Story
Tagline
Author of The Hunter Chronicles from Simon & Schuster. Grower of goatee. Surgeon of words.
Introduction
I'm the author of Return to Exile, the first book in The Hunter Chronicles, a middle-grade series in the vein of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, published by Simon & Schuster in September of 2011. If you haven't bought a few thousand copies, you should. Seriously, why are you reading this introduction instead of my book? My book is much better than this.

I'm repped by Steven Malk of Writer's House and Nick Harris of ICM (Book to Film Rights).

Before becoming a full-time author, I worked in leadership development, organizational behavior, and corporate training.
Bragging rights
Thought New Mexico was a separate country until I was fourteen. Was the first to tell young children to get off my lawn. Ate five cats. And by cats I mean Kit Kats, and by ate, I mean fed them to my cats. Ran a race against myself and won. I can hear trees fall in the woods even when no one's there.
Education
  • Academy of Legend
    Alchemical Botany, Monster Hunting, Sewer Snorkeling
  • Brigham Young University
    Film/Media Arts
  • Brigham Young University
    MBA
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Relationship
Married