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alison lyons
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87 followers
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Yay fever dreams!
Unintentional farewell lunch with coworkers at CEO's house, who did not want me in his house. So I stole his favorite Sponge Bob Square Pants plastic cup (even wrote my name over his on it), stole perfume and a bunch of toiletries from his wife's bathroom... and her pet fox. Who liked me better anyway.
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I thought a Sprouts cashier was exercising a random moment of kindness today giving me a free reusable bag because the current one I was using had a small [just cosmetic] tear in it. Then I got home and remembered OHHHHHHH YEAH, I just had dental work done and half my face is paralyzed and I was probably drooling on myself at the time. IT'S A PITY RE-USABLE BAG.

**note to self: go shopping after dentist more often
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I had a dream I was at a gypsy wedding and me and the girls I played tennis with in high school were bridesmaids. I told them about how I always have dreams with them in them (SO META). Then dad and I went antique shopping and he bought a broken lamp for $300,000 and set it on fire in a dumpster.
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I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!! PANCAKES IS PREGGO!!!

And I am OBVIOUSLY calling the critter Short Stack
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dreams last night that Geico gave me $16,000 and a subscription to Marie Claire. Oh subconscious, we wish.
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sleeplessness
stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions.
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haven't had one of these feel-like-I'm-being-stabbed-in-the-back-of-the-head-with-a-butcher-knife headaches in awhile. Attempting to combat it with a metric fuckton of water and some De La Soul. If this fails, murder. Or pillow fights. Whatever comes first.
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Last night I had a dream that I was kidnapped by an ex (with a new face tattoo) and gang of hooligans. We were smuggling wicker chairs in Guatemala and a little old lady was driving us in a getaway bus. I lectured the ex on his crack addiction and then we decided to stop for a break at Sea World to watch some blue whales. One whale got rowdy and tried to break through the glass so we got scared of Sea World and ran out. Brad Pitt found me in the parking lot and shot me with a machine gun.

wtf?

I think they put something in the potatoes at Houston's.
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