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Jessica Hill
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Had a really crazy vivid dream last night. The ocean was smashing me into pieces on the rocks and all around me everyone I ever knew was getting torn apart, too. People were scrambling all over each other, trying to make it up the slippery rocks, trying to get away from the waves and no one was really getting anywhere. When Lucas woke me up, I went back to some writings I was working on a few weeks ago and read through it.
from the diary last month
When the emotions start...ed welling up inside of me, I let them hit me like waves and as each wave of emotion passed I recovered; found myself upright with both feet firmly dug into the shifting sand, breathing and bracing myself for the next crash of brutal comprehension.
They stand in the same tide I do. Resisting the pulling depths of past mistakes, confronting stinging slaps of raw emotion from every angle, desperately trying to keep a balance between ebb and flow and rolling grains of pulverized everything.
Will that we all find relief in solid footing when the clouds break and the sun warms the shore.
Pray that we all find many and more of those days to build up our strength for the storms.
That we find loving hearts to welcome us, steadfast souls to shelter us, and enjoy calm waters.
I can remember the pull of the tide and get caught up in recollecting past weather, but I’ll be here in my homey little cove, surrounded by energies that heal, with the knowledge that all the sharks in the ocean that smell a hint of weakness and try to exploit it, can’t bite through my self –respect.

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2015-10-20
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I'm so frustrated.  I don't know what I need and I don't know how to recognize the things I need to fix in order to be happy with myself and overcome this. always being yanked backwards into emotional turmoil from past situations.  It never gets easier, it gets harder as time goes by, cause hindsight is twenty-twenty and every time I look back I see things just a bit clearer and it wrecks me all over again.  I bet you're thinking, she needs to concentrate on the present, on what's ahead of her, but you don't fucking know what it is that's still lurking behind me waiting for any little space to jump out and throw me a bitchslap of shitty memories that blind me to everything else.

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092015
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082015
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2015-05-29
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Good morning!  My gallon garden is great! 
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2015-04-20
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Solar System Helix
Solar System Helix
The helical model of how our solar system travels through space
http://youtu.be/0jHsq36_NTU
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