Just when I noticed fewer wasps flying around the house, oh welcome lovely Fall. You know, that two week period where we have California weather here in Texas. When people ask me what the weather is like in California and I say, “This, except for mountains and beaches and amazing produce, and okay, that’s not about weather…”
I must admit, I noticed the crickets the other night. Ugh. Really? Is it that time of year?
But no. Just no. Tonight was all kinds of different. They were swarming the lights in the parking lot, so I parked far, far away from the lights. Did you know that crickets fly?!?!?!?!?!?!? I got out of the car and hesitated. Do I really need laundry detergent? Do my students need a smelly professor or a dead one? Really. I began the most advanced hopscotch routine you’ve ever seen. I even ran. Miracles do happen.
I dodged them. They landed all around me like raindrops. OMG. I am dying here!!!! I seriously hope someone filmed me.
Once inside, I had a fleeting thought of, “How am I going to get out of here?” but quickly went about my business.
Paid and without excuse, I clutched my belongings and headed out into the plague. I was the amazing one, dodging crickets left and right, up and down. I ran past columns covered with them, I hopscotched my way through the war zone. I ran like a crazy woman to the dark end of the parking lot.
I made it to my car. One was waiting for me right by my door. I jumped in. Drove off. Didn’t even know if the door was shut.
I shall not leave the house again after sunset.