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Stephen Krogh
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Came upon this (abridged and somewhat edited for grammar) vignette today on the internet today:

"When I was young I was goodhearted, innocent, polite and had high morals and ethics. I have always been naturally curious about the world, peoples behavior and the big questions in life. And the more answers I got from life the better it felt, and I developed a hunger for knowledge (On a philosophical level)

One thing I take pride in - that started early in my life, was distancing myself from my own personality and body. Considering it an object - ever observing and learning using my own body and mind as an experiment . . . when I was 12 years old . . . I knew stealing was bad . . . [but] I knew who I was, and stole from a store. I wasn't caught and thought "Nothing has changed, I'm still the same person. This doesn't make me evil or immoral. This action does not change me as a person"

Now lets look at the present. I have become cold, manipulative and calculating. On the outside and in a social setting I am warm,. . . . In truth I have become a misanthropist [sic] after all my observing . . . I don't really know myself anymore. I gave away my own personality in exchange for knowledge without subjective hindrance. I have accumulated knowledge through wisdom and I use it to use others and further my own mundane physical desires - because my body is for me a disposable tool. I don't value it - my life, or others'."

There is a lot going on in this tragic confession. It shouldn't be surprising, though, to see that someone who has divorced himself from his humanity, "distancing myself from my own personality and body," would ultimately be distanced from the humanity of others, and ultimately from morality generally. Unfortunately, he couldn't have interpreted the theft in his youth more incorrectly. Such actions clearly changed him. In some way he seems to recognize it, but not be fully aware of it.

Reading this reminds me of Augustine and the episode with the pears in "Confessions." In a way, this poor guy almost serves as a mirror image of the great saint, something Augustine could have become. 

An important question is why Augustine didn't turn out this way, but this guy did. Part of the answer seems to lie in the fact that the former saw wisdom, or at least the search for it, as a way out of such misery, whereas the latter sees it as what condemned him to it.How can someone find help when he considers his salvation his condemnation? 

Very sad.

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The heat index is almost at 100 already, and I'm staring down the wrong end of an 8 mile run today. I. Hate. DC.
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