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Mutha Courage
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14 followers
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Mutha's posts

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The Re(hypno)birth of Mutha Courage
Well hello again, As if by magic, by which I mean as if by magic(al hard work) and with the contents of this blog firmly beside me and not behind me, I've started yet another new chapter of my life. I have launched my new Hypnobirthing business, called Muth...

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Adieu, Adieu, to you and you and you.
Saying goodbye to psychosis has been a very long journey for me. In so many ways I will never be able to say a final farewell, because if nothing more it will always appear as a page of my medical notes, it will always be a consideration if I have another b...

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Auf Wiedersehen. Goodbye.
End. Roll credits. Quick. Before life carries on and messes up the ending. It's all looking complete, tied up neatly. It has closure. Narrative arc. Beauty. Quick. Finish the story before the baby starts crying and there is the first argument about somethin...

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So long. Farewell.
The adjustment to being back at home feels clumsy and difficult, but it is a glorious discomfort. I have the building blocks around me that I can build a life out of and I know that this is the dawn of a startling new era. I go back and forth to Hackney ano...

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Post. Partum.
Over the last few months I have given regular talks and interviews about postpartum psychosis as part of my mission to get the word out there about this illness. I was approached by a woman whose sister-in-law has recently been struck by it, and they are al...

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Homeward Bound
I'm so bored of the whole process. I'm bored of recovery. I'm bored of medication. I'm bored of being told what I can and can't do and, you've guessed it, I'm bored about what feels like the longest wait EVER to get home. While I'm at it, I'm bored of being...

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To Pimlico, to Pimlico, to Pimlico
I was desperate to get home. I longed for the comfort of my own surroundings and to be able to come and go as I pleased, without constant supervision, a chaperone, and time restrictions. At this stage in my recovery I wasn't sure if that was weeks or months...

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Drug War
Every day that I was in the ward I was getting better. That meant that I was swimming closer to the surface, regaining consciousness. The better I got the harder I found recovery. I could see what had happened. The evidence was all around me. It was like be...

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Temporary Release
I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being held captive, that I was a prisoner on the ward and that I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be while I had all these wardens watching my every move. In actuality I was there completely of my own free will and ...

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Mad Muthas
One of the best things about being mad in a psychiatric ward is that you are not alone. One of the better things about being mad in a mother and baby unit is that, funnily enough, there are mothers and babies there. All of us had different illnesses and all...
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