Saying "suck it up" and making demands of someone as to what they do with their life is completely inappropriate. She's made her decision, your input is rather irrelevant. You, and your wife, have your own lives and get to make your own decisions. Violet, too, has her time on this earth to make her choices, just because they are not the ones you would make does not mean that they are invalid or inferior to yours. Get over yourself. She doesn't want to go to med school, you don't have the right to attack her for it.