An open letter to whoever broke in to my car;
Hello, you crazy street pirate you! I'll bet you weren't expecting to hear from me. Well here I am. Lets discuss what what you've taken, and just what an impact that's had. So... here we go.
I get it, that was a nice backpack, and heck, it's a nice car. I'm sure you thought you were getting something sweet! And I'm sorry to let you down. However, that backpack contained all five of my textbooks I needed for this semester. This semester that ends in a month. Lets hope this has inspired you to maybe lift yourself up out of the street life you must have, and better yourself. You hit those books hard buddy!
Now I'm sorry that all you got away with was a nice backpack filled with some college textbooks. Kind of an ironic thing when you think about it? I'm a decent person in college bettering myself with help from those text books. You're a scummy street pirate looking for something easy to sale... and you got stuck with those books. Hey maybe my accounting book will help you better manage your pirate accounts, and my macro-economics book might help you see the waisted and burdensome cost you create in society. And when you're done you can wash it all down with my political ideologies book and learn how John Locke says that people like you are why man must rise out of the state of nature and form a society.
I'm sure the rush of breaking in to my car in broad daylight on a busy street RIGHT in front of my work must have been so thrilling. And I don't want to sound like a nag... but you left quite a mess. Now in my house growing up, you could have as much fun as you wanted, but you had to clean it up afterwards. Maybe keep that in mind next time you're pirating about. Also, if you're not gonna use those books, maybe consider giving that backpack to one of your pirate kids. It's really nice, and I'm sure they'd appreciate it. I know I did when my dad and step mom gave it to me for Christmas.
Good luck with all your pirating endeavors and enjoy your loot.
Cody M. Christensen