So now we enter the second act of this particular black comedy, in which candidates who are having trouble in the polls try to steal Trump's voters by outdoing him. Alas, neither Scott Walker nor Chris Christie have anything resembling the sort of charisma required to lead a white supremacist movement, but you've got to give them points for batshit insane. In the past two days:
Christie wants to bring in Fred Smith of FedEx to work for ICE, and create a system that lets us track immigrants like packages, and find and deport them instantly when we want to. It's not quite clear what method he would prefer for affixing a computer-readable, nonremovable tag to people; some of the better suggestions I've heard so far involve implanting RFID chips in people's arms or necks, requiring that they wear some special identifying clothing, or simply tattooing their ID number on them somewhere. Trust us, nothing could go wrong with this.
(NB that Fred Smith has made no indication that he wants anything to do with Christie's ideas; he is not to blame for this)
Walker, on the other hand, appears to have become enamored of Trump's idea of building a wall sealing us off from Mexico, and wants to take it a step further: he'll not only build that, but notes the "legitimate concerns" which warrant us seriously investigating building a wall with Canada.
No, he does not appear to be joking.
I'm not sure whether he's terrified of an unexpected reprise of the War of 1812, or if there's a fear that Canadians might stream south of the border and... be really polite to people?
But yes, we have finally reached that point in American history where electoral politics and South Park are no longer clearly distinguishable. So alright, everybody – Blame Canada!