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The Rochdale Herald
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All the news from Rochdale, as it happens.
All the news from Rochdale, as it happens.

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A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal cunts.



The group, who appear to be actors in their mid twenties, have been noisily congratulating themselves for being utterly horrible self important dickheads since Grantham,...
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Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was involved in car accident earlier today.



Officials said “that despite being 97 years old, clearly frail and probably bonkers he was able to touch a finger to his own nose and hadn’t lost any limbs...
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A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused to meet his opponents to discuss the problem of Brexit and what should happen to resolve it.



A spokesman for Jeremy Corbyn, Mr F**k Thatcher in the C**t told us,...
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Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as ‘coffin dodging idiots’.
The newspaper Facebook comments page was awash with furious white people trying to silence the man they...
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Shaving that’s a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area.   



“What it is right, is I’m one of those Gillette Johns,” claimed James, when asked why he didn’t...
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As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you’re a woman, it’s hard not to feel more competent than the UK government – but if you are, why can’t you...
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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day manchild



Despite introducing blade, after blade, after blade, the company has found it impossible to shave the dick off many men’s...
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A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, “way better than all that social justice bollocks”.



Piers and many other single men with little else to do than call people snowflakes on Twitter whilst simultaneously being offended by razor adverts and pasties...
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London’s continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost today. Transport For London excitedly announced news of a deal being struck to extend the Northern Line to Scotland starting next year.
The...
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Theresa May has urged MP’s to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.



With many people warning that it’s a really stupid thing Mrs May said, “That’s why you need to get behind this truly terrible deal I’ve negotiated. This...
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