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The Rochdale Herald
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All the news from Rochdale, as it happens.
All the news from Rochdale, as it happens.

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A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man’s poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on.
Speaking exclusively to the Herald she said,
“I was stood at the bus stop when I saw this car approach. It swung left, then right, the there was a noise as the handbrake was...

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Peter McCallister, has been found dead at the foot of his stairs within his home 671 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka, Illinois.
The Police are treating the death of father of five as suspicious. Detective Paul Simmons of the Winnetka police department gave this statement
“At 08:15 this morning, the...

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The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble together enough roles to keep the unemployed potential workforce earning a crust. So far, zero hours has been the sum of these efforts, but...

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BBC bosses have demanded that Teletubbies star Tinky Winky hand back half the wages ever paid over the course of the show after she came out as transgender.
Media spokesman for the BBC Brian Smith commented, “The BBC has gone to great effort to release details of salaries paid to all our...

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Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation is planned in Swanley’s School of Hard Knocks. Mr Teachers said “Having researched the Facebook profiles of...

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In a shock announcement today, astronomers have come out and stated categorically that London is not the centre of the universe.
The BBC’s face of astronomy, Professor Brian Cox, made the announcement to the assembled media. “For starters,” he said. “London isn’t even the centre of the world...

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“It will be my most challenging about face yet.” The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband for the summer holidays.
“I will need the support of each and everyone of you in order to reverse course on Brexit and begin making the case...

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A five year old girl has been found guilty at the Old Bailey of tax evasion after a multi-million pound VAT investigation.
The girl, clearly already hell bent on a life of white collar crime, first came to the attention of council officer’s after setting up a stall on a pavement to sell her...

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During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban.
Protestors almost wore their fingers to the bone in opposition to the pledge, typing out their defiance on social media. Unexpectedly, it...

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Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis.
Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class B drug to a totally legal drug. A McVitie’s spokesman, Mr David Roach said “We are delighted by the prospect. In fact...
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