Here's another one which didn't make it.  Past and Janša II dynasties are compared.  The financial rewards of the European Capital of Culture are compared with those of the capital.  Vaporised 2014.


SHODDY BOHEMIAN RAP

To find administrations seamier
Check King Sigismund's Bohemia;
Almost too poor to fight the Turk,
Baronial loans made Hungary work.

The difference between them and Hus
Was who consumes what of Jesus -
Ostensible dispute: rethinking
Saviour snacks / Who does blood-drinking.

Prior to Mary's death by Prior,
Hot invite for Hus - who caught fire.
At Zadar somehow Sigi wangled,
For his wife to watch her mum get strangled.

King Sigi, I need hardly tell ya,
Wife dead, wed Barbara of Celje,
She had her head screwed on, with that
Empire of his, and stylish hat.

Unlike today's royals, on ski slopes,
Their troubles concerned rival popes;
Then, pre-infallibility,
There wasn't just one pope - but three.

That sorted, Sigismund was dead
And Hapsburg Albrecht came instead.
Barbara, "the German Messalina"
Sent daughter Liz to tempt the Wiener.

Pragmatic Barbie's Hus conversion
Accompanied this royal diversion;
Albrecht married, as well he might,
Damsel of cunning wee Hussite.

When Albrecht died, in-law Slovene
Was denounced: vampire lesbo queen;
Her non-beliefs were advertised -
Obscene, said Wien, all scandalised.

Liz nicked Saint Stephen's crown and had
It placed on head of baby lad.
He's not Albrecht's, was then the play -
Enough proof then, pre-DNA.

So even dragon ladies fail,
God's party can delete he-male -
Save Hussite influence on Frankfurters:
Spiritual Suzy, girl of Goethe's.

What have we learned from lives Bohemian
Of use to Parliaments Slovenian?
To reign - with fewer buts or ifs -
Kill / marry / lock up relatives.

Your anti-unity technique
Depends on thinking on your feet;
To oust claimants to your estate
Inflate their sins; manipulate.

Slovene cliques, protect politics -
Marry your cousins when you're six.
The Holy Roman crucible
Can both forge sword, and catch the dribble.

What hope for your quaint situation?
A Deli-Counter-Counter-Reformation?
There must be someone else to sing to -
Predictably...that's what you'll cling to.


Well I'll give him 7 out of 10 for trying.  This poem cost nothing more than a few cents' worth of electricity and internet to produce - and is dedicated to the DSP of Ljubljana, who may have received 88,500 euros for their contribution to the European Capital of Culture, even though LJ isn't in it, and which is more than may have been received by either the whole of Slovenj Gradec or Velenje, which were.  And to all unfashionable non-middle-class writers without cravats, everywhere.

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