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retorica t
Works at the gods told me to relax
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retorica t

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To continue on the what will we do tomorrow to fuck up you day and life a bit more in flanders ...

unforeseen cost, thats that then, no more gentse feesten, bye bye summer

rotten op een kamertje , net als in de bak

maar dan met opendeurdag

in een achtergat

FUCK THIS SHIT
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retorica t

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En dan nu .... een uurtje trein, twas there and back again,
Im more hollow than a lvl 1 dark souls toon...
A new nursery rhyme brewed in my head on the way to the statipn. Sounds better when im humming it and probably even more accompanied ny a melancholic an pierle accordeon.

Tick tock
Tick tock
Goes the clock
Round and round
Round and round
Another day of life again
Down the drain
Down the drain
Never to come back again
Lost forever in this hole
The hell that stole my soul
(little accordeon solo)
No more fire in my eyes
All i hear around is lies
People are like ghosts to me but
What i fear the most is me

The monster they created deep
Deep, deep down inside of me
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retorica t

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lol, awesome design ... costly too i guess
 
Motherboard HQ! When a Minecraft home is brought to life.
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Gentse Fieste,

finally something in belgium worth coming out for. I dont feel like it but i drag myself out cos another 24 hours straight in this house will surely be the end of me.
I shower i shave i get to the train.
Come to think of it, i havent felt like anything for years now.
One stop down, the most beautiful girl comes sit in front of me. Skinny, makeupmodel face (a face to wake up to as they say), long shiny hair. Pretty smile flashing white teeth.
The works. Looks sixteen, but is actually a nineteen yo uni student pol & soc. Perfect, ...
if i didnt live in salems pines. The conversation hits off right away. All these things i should have, social anxiety, awkwardness, shy ... none of that, even after years in salems pines, after months of barely leaving the house. Its just like hi and the flows still there. Never had that, dont have it now.
Im not the type to harass or make smutty remarks to girls i dont know (yes bedside is another matter but i dont remember that its too long ago)
So we talk about this and that, until we both get off in gent. Me to the center, she to her dorm, straight from holiday back to the city.
The city ... i notice, as always, the skin changes over the months and years, but the city remains the same.
I keep my sunglasses on to hide the void behind my eyes. I think it scares people. Those eyes used to flare like quasars, looking straight into the future. Now all they see is a big, gaping black hole, a dark void where fun does not exist. Courtesy of salems pines. Keep the glasses on so you dont drain peoples soul, caT.
Where is my life ? I dont know i was on the verge of getting it back and suddenly before i realized what happened i found myself here. Everything i worked for for years gone. Social life ... gone ... lovelife ... gone ... sexlife ... gone.

motivation zero.

I trot the city streets, people everywhere, laughing children, drinking comrades. Street performers.
I feel ...
nothing

the void behind my eyes seems to have spread into my heart, but the darkness in the heart springs from the place where it was born.
Wrong day to come anyway. The crowd is not too fat. Nothing enthusiastic. I guess ill have to go back later this week. If i can drag this sorry heap of undead flesh and bones powered by the ghost that was a supernova soul out of house rose white that is.
The house itself as always whispers ... "stay a while ... stay FOREVER" ... poltergeists, there must be a prehistoric burial ground under this hill somewhere.

I have become void, destroyer of worlds to bee, where there was a future there is nothing but shadows and whispers now

Fun does not exist. Theres nothing here for me, no happy, no life. Life is a lie. Pëople are illusions, family aint family no more. From social worker to a-social in a few months. This place is a magnet, i notice people rarely move out far here.

Ah the girls, yes, well, since its not cos im shy or i dont know how to start talking it must be something else like .. THERES NOTHING HERE FOR ME. And also, my first pickup line would have to be. O sorry, but before i start hitting on you, i absolutely plan to move to the other side of the world so if you dont feel like that or have things to leave behind i will spare us both the trouble.

stalemate, ahole in my soul and no one to fill iti and even if it would most likely be cursed before it hit off because of that. Open up my heart ? Its not a heart, its some shards. I cant do loose relations, i get attached, for all my progressivenes, im pretty oldskool there. I dont do internet dating, i need a tete a tete to start with. This place, this country has ruined my life

So i do the whole festival zone. Mostly families, mummy daddy and the kids. It hasnt gained momentum yet, a few days in and you get people who havent gone home for days dazing about, but not today, not yet. No party mood in the air, certainly not in my head or behind my dead eyes. I walk around aimlessly, buy a hat, new sunglasses, eat a bratwurst, drink a cola, smoke half a pack of cigarettes, make it across town to my single favourite overnight latenight bar in gent. Kinky Star music club .. closed by day apparently the vampires need their coffin time.
So i decide to go back home, Six o clock, feeling as hollow as i did before i left.

But at least i got some o2 in my system
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Wait five days for money

sold out ......

FUCK OFF
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Te laat voor tickets? Er zijn nog tickets te verkrijgen voor het Slayer concert op 25 oktober in de 013 te Tilburg! Meer info hier. ; Dat we dit nog mogen mee maken! Twee van de ‘Big...
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retorica t

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Well, YES, i might have been babbling in anger but YES, i think my anger was 100% justified. If it werent for the two local cops they'd probably taken me in for interogation. 
Thing is
, this is filed and reported, my name is logged, and why the fuck did they need my cellphone number ?

I can think of only one reason, to track my calls, but i thought that used to require an active ongoing investigation and a warrant.

THING IS, anyone could call at anytime for any reason saying anything at all and i dont get to know who or to defent myself or to know if its always the same few jokers 

THING IS ... ME AGAIN gets held up by SEVEN cops in the middle of the street at rush hour in wayward pines. As if im some lethal killer they cant just ask with a team of two.
Here in wayward pines .... "o look, its HIM again, must be a real criminal , always that many to hold him up"

there goes the rep, what rep ? O yea , sir you want to clear your record, yes sir, its been eight years now i think its time; O but we have several accounts of people calling to complain ..

o realy,

yes

so what were the last ones

well the two last someone called that a drunk was directing traffic in the middle of the highway, for some reason they stopped me while the actual guy was 50 metres behind, maybe 100
so that got logged hey ?
The last one i think
euh ... the crime was "looking at a car" .... ?????

yea, looking at a car, SO dangerous it took seven of them to stop me

yea ... im a hard-ass gangster

then there was the time when some guy just headbutted me in a bar and the bartender tells ME to go cos they called the cops

turned out the guy was connected to some local hard-ass gangsters , tsk

yea ... at least i think i found out later last evening what the motorcycle mafia was doing in town ... some guy ... one of two hard-ass gangster brothers (real ones, yea its all fun and games here, its like hobbiton mixed with a layer of orcs the 'normal' people dont know shit about, they dont know whats going on in their own town)
one guy just got into a vehicle repair shop and poured gasoline over someone and threatend to light him on fire

my guess an you-owe-me-money-thing

very scarface, broad daylight not give a fuck kinda thing so he's probably on the run ... straight outta jail

last time his bro was straight outta jail, goes have a beer gets into a fight and like wacks of a guys jawbone ... straight outta jail

its a weird mix here in wayward pines

but i still feel violated

and i still NEVER EVER will settle for living here

why not .. ITS SO GOOD HERE ?

shut the fuck up
Ze kunnen u in de psychiatrie laten opnemen, uit uw huis zetten of naar hartenlust uw ondergoedlade doorzoeken. En dat allemaal zonder dat er ook maar één rechter bij te pas komt. Zo ontstaat er in ijltempo een parallelle justitie.
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Incredible. Even at 2am it takes like five minutes for a cop car to drive me by as if this town were gangsterdam. I wonder what those guys are saying to each other. well, the frequency DOES feel like they're watching me. For what ? I dont know im out of jail for over 8 years, i havent lifted a finger against anyone in all those years. Not even the most fucking slimebags or aggressive pleb who seems to know all about me even if i never met him. But he's always sitting there home, that MUST be suspicious. Well, i just dont like it here and with all i had to endure, the stalking and harassment, you wouldnt come out either. I wonder what they're saying. Belgium, nv-a police state, most number of cops per square meter in europe (thats per square meter, the strangest way i ever heard it express) are they like "o its that guy we held last time with seven cops because someone called that he was 'looking at a car' and the time before we held him with five guys because someone called a drunk guy was directing traffic and since we know his face and he was holding a beer we stopped him, even if he was doing nothing walking nicely on the side while the actual guy was like 100m further. And so on, thats like six or seven times now since i had to move back to salems pines ? How come cops in gent or brussels never stop me even if im piss drunk lying in the gutter (as a manner of speech ofcourse) but here someone just has to place an anonymous call and tataraaa in comes the cavalry, every time for nothing but ofcourse its registered every time. Yes i feel stalked. They wont tell me who called so im left defenseless. Can i sue someone if that ever happens again.
Well fyi blue boys, i was walking the cat. Cant do that by day, too many cars, too many dogs, too many people and too many eyes and stalkers. The kitty loves it, she gets to sniff everything and a bit of fresh air, and i get to be outside here for thirty minutes without getting a nervous breakdown because i hate this fucking town cos it, flanders, belgium and pleb stalkers ruined my life. I will never settle here, i will never want to be here, i refuse to have a social life here. I never had a gf from here, not when i was fifteen, not when i was 20, not at 30 and definitely not now. Theres nothing here for me, thats why i never come out. That and the pleb gossip. Im sorry, is that insulting ? Well ive been insulted for seven years now.
O and if you're waiting to catch me drunk (cos here in police state nv-a land they can hold you just for being drunk ... i thought that was a general law but even in the states considered worst qua police overhere apparently cops there dont give a shit if you're lying drunk in a ditch snoring)

So, i was walking the cat. . .

could you stop stalking me and next time someone calls that 'im looking at a car' ????!?? maybe give me their names or something so i can sue someone for harassment ?

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Lucky lucky lucky, the fun never stops. The ticket yesterday i cant get a refund. Its my responsibility to know even if the vendong machine sells me one on a day when theres no trains. The ticket today cost me seven euros too but also almost a 75 euro fine.. . see, my reduction MOYHERCARD is valid until 2019 the validation card however expired may this year. State company informatisation...i dpnt have to validate the redux at the vending machine. My responsibility to know, like lady justice. Sed lex dura lex... But the lady says she believes me...actually i almost forgot. The vending machine wouldnt take my debet card so i had to hurry to the nearest store, buy something cheap, put it on 10 euros and have me give change on that. Trains coming... you got five minutes to fix this ...RUNNNN!!! So thr ticketlady on the train says she believes me but i have to buy a fullprice ticket at the next station . SO im two days i just try to get out for a burger. One hour train up
One hour there
One hour traon back
Would have cost me twelve, now cost me over thirty and the week is only halfway.
Like i said yesterday, what will flanders bring tomorrow to ruin my day ?
I tell you, the day i get on that plane out of hell im not lookimg back once even if the whole country burns behind me, good riddance
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So thete i stand, dragged myself out. Showered and shaved, tuesday ready to go. YOlo o o .,. After fifteen minutes something dawns. Its national holiday today ... Equals sunday ... equals NO FUCKING TRAINS OUT OF SALEMS PINES ... Jeezez fucking lost hole of nowhere, moral of the story ? This place gets in the way of everything ... FUCK THAT SHIT


o wait ... lets not forget the best part .. since a while you have to buy your ticket from a vending machine (savings everywhere), if you dont before you get on you have to pay double or 25% extra or something.
So, with great joy the vending machine announces that my ticket has been "replaced by a cheaper week-end ticket"
"ONLY" seven euros (they should check prices in other countries sometime i think) ... so im like yay, here we go.
It did not announce however : "apologies sir, there are no trains today in this backyard" ... it still sold me a ticket.

Welcome to Belgium. We will ruin your life, be glad to take all your money and in return you get

NOTHING

skijt ... skijt ... SKEIT !

no, sir, im still not gonna buy a car for the few days a year i get out and local railways succeed in fucking up my plans. Thats just not a cost-effective solution. If i had just a litle more id simply call a cab and never take the train again. On a yearly basis it would still be probably like a thousand times cheaper than owning a car which would be nothing but an extra leash and chain to pay for.

i was getting out of here at 40, the reference to salems pines is not just alcohol induced rage, which would be hard since i havent had a single drop in 39 days , which isnt hard at all realy .. the smoking however.
NERVES


another exercise in total zen or die.

there goes my day ... AGAIN

i SO , deeply, thoroughly hate this fucking place

try again tomorrow, we'll see what we can do to fuck up your day then thank you come again ... should i bother mailing them, theyre not gonna give me a refund anyway
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retorica t

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primitive
exactly ...
survival sandbox seems to be the new hype
ofcourse no one can run a server to fit it
xept IBM maybe ?
but why would they run society if they're trying to run a brain
have you ever read the manycoloured land
when i was a kid
i mean a kid
it was one of my favourite series
on paper
its not even zelazny or Vance
julian may i believe
how wonderful it would be
i still think early access games should be treated like piracy is
at the moment
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retorica t

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if ever there was a reason to get a new gpu
 
#Fallout4 is real, coming to #PS4, #XboxOne & #PC! Trailer and all http://fextralife.com/fallout-4-is-official/
Fallout 4 is officially announced, with more information coming in June 14th. Check out the trailer in the article!
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So true! xD
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Story
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maybe a dog in the wild has buddha nature, but a slave is nothing but a tool, what do i know, im not a wiseman, im not even a wise guy anymore, not that i ever been
Introduction
I never knew hell was an actual place in the Americas 8-0 , I was convinced it was right here

mu,

watashi-wa watashi da

dont ask why its just how it evolved, i can not not be me

see, people tell me i have trust issues

let me tell you, SORRY ? sorry doesn't get me anything ... I can't eat sorry, I can't fuck sorry and I can't use sorry to buy what I want SO KEEP YOUR SORRY cos I have no use for it. Its a bit too late for sorry, wouldn't you say ?

i dont have trust issues, i have so many knives in my back i look like a hedgehog on a kirlian photo, thats a spikey aura there, thats why im always on the edge and ready for defense

these are not 'trust issues' ... trust issues is not this

so, online, no one is who they say they are until prove otherwise, see , inhere its even easier to appear as if you were not someone from my past i never wanna see again, might be an ex, might be a rat, might be anything ...

fallen angel from another heaven, when i fell through the hole in space as i was exiled, never to return your one remnant narcist hippie antfarmkid asked me : "do i KNOW you?"

i said : no ofcourse you dont you fucking proto-douchebag, i never chose to be here, i should have wings still instead i got a back full of knives, thats not trust issues

thats being careful

say what you will, think what you will , you are not me

and i sure as hell won't be you

non serviam, i liked that one though, the nicest of his servants before you lot of ants twisted his soul into a burning ball of hate for humanity, turned into a mirror and this is what you get

no one is who they say they are until proven otherwise, if you wont, then dont, no problem
i dont need you anyway

privacy my highest good after my cats, oxygen and money

DONT FUCK WITH THAT

ILL HUNT YOU DOWN

Ni dieu , ni maître ?

mh, i dont believe in gods who care i'm an agnostic polytheist and i picked my morals well, THEY ARE STRONGER THAN YOURS and less hippiecrite ...
ni maître ?
I fear no man, scared people get black eyes too, did you know that ? But as with any man, even the mighty Merlin in his glory days could be brought to his knees and frozen forever by a women, the enchantress ...

Liberté ? Yes , ofcourse, they call it evolution in the law that predates and surpassas any paper law of men

Egalité ? Look around you, where the hell does that exist but in lofty speeches and constitutions ? Like good and bad, a concept invented by the human brain to cope with perception.

Fraternité ?
My back is so full of knives my Kirlian picture would look like a hedgehog. I have a REAL hard time believing in that forever friends crap. So i'm 100% but theres maybe 5 people in the world i trust ?

So ... if you were looking for a place where all is good and fine all the time and where people tell you constantly its all fine and good and you're great ... YOU'RE IN THE WRONG PLACE MAH FREND. I don't do hippiecrite, the moon shines but you can't see the darkside. And a star might burn and shine on all sides but i'm not really a star even though i might have been perhaps, but even so i will go nova on your ass if you annoy me.

Not everything is good, not everything is positive, some people are plain bastards, others are plain idiots. A lot of them are leeches or black holes, looking for the one who shines most bright to suck up all the energy until they too become the darkness.

I prefer a social network with a dislike button too. A googleplusandminus, where not everything is always good and you can express dislike too.
But i cant find one.
Ask any phd who mastered in mass or personal psychology whats healthier. A place where people tell you where it's at ? Or a  place where people only get to tell you they like everything or shut up ?

I HATE YOUR FUCKING WORLD

....

hah .... im gonna find a place to shout that out loud now (very therapeutic ...)
Bragging rights
you can wikipedia the introduction, im still not the person youre looking for
Work
Occupation
your nervous system is of great interest to me, i dont work for people, i hate humans and im not a terrorist
Skills
lol ... expert in none, meta in all
Employment
  • the gods told me to relax
    inquisitor, 2001 - present
retorica t's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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