I was going to do this early in the year but was talked into thinking it was a bad idea. But there have been SO MANY bad ideas brought to light this year and all our idols are groan so FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!!!!!!!

I ask you: When did innovation and pissing off the establishment become something that smelly old farts did?

Seriously.

I think about the history of heavy metal, and how the groundbreaking acts, the ones who really pushed the boundaries of what noise could be made, and what do I find...

Venom members were just 19-21 years old when their first album came out.
Slayer were 18-22.
Possessed were 18-20.
Death members were 19 and 20.
Napalm Death, 18-22.
Carcass' members were 18 and 19.
Sodom was 17-21.
Everyone in Entombed was a teenager, 17-19, when Left Hand Path came out.
Emperor members were 19-20 years old when their first record came out.
Mayhem, 18-19.
The Darkthrone guys were 18-19.
Hellhammer, 17-21.
Sepultura 16-18.

And figure the recording contracts were signed some time before, not to mention when the demos that got them signed would have been made. These fuckers were young. Making noise like no one before them because they wanted to be heavier, they wanted to be faster, they wanted to push things farther than they'd ever been pushed before. And the established music industry didn't want to touch them, so their peers founded record labels just so this stuff could get out there and change the world. In many cases their mommies had to co-sign their record deals with them because they were minors.

And in gaming we've got... old, old fucks. The new noise is very often made by some crusty geriatric flexing his creative freedom after leaving his old company. Startup publishing companies are formed by people who have been gaming forever in order to release books by people who have been gaming forever because they too need to release their album of standards. Just like in metal, where the sickest shit today is made by the same people who were playing the sickest shit 25 years ago. It's disgraceful.

Not quite as disgraceful as the kids getting together to ape their granddads. "Oh, how cute, these guys are 20 years old and playing just like Iron Maiden's early stuff." Timelinewise, that is just like Iron Maiden forming (in the 70s) and deciding instead of doing metal to base their sound on The Wizard of Oz's musical numbers.

Who are the young rebels not obeying the laws of decorum and trying to piss off The Man with all our profanity? Well... me, Chandler, and Venger are all in our early forties. Alex "dicks dicks dicks" Mayo is even older. fuuuuuuuuuuuck. And our whippersnapper Kiel is 29. 29! Remember when you were young enough to think you could conquer the world? 29 is just a couple months away from being 30 and ANCIENT DEATH!

FUCK ALL THIS SHIT

But I'm so busy dealing with my own stuff that I don't have my ear to the ground. I don't know what's going on in the streets. But I do know some teenager is out there right now in RPGLand and they've got their Welcome to Hell, their Show No Mercy, their Deathcrush, their Apocalyptic Raids in them. Something so raw and dirty and different and real that it'll piss off all the grandpas and people will call it noise but it'll set the tone for so much more to come.

And I want LotFP to be like Combat, like Metal Blade, like Earache, like Nuclear Blast in the 80s and give these people the freedom to make a racket and raise a ruckus like kids are supposed to fucking do. Like I let them do back in my early RPG publishing days when I had Laura drawing mutilated corpses when she was 17 and Aino doing all the art for my first RPG publication and being on the cover when she was 18.

I want a writer to work on a project of their own conception, for publication. But you've got to be young. If you're 21, you're too old.

But maybe you're not all METAL yourself. Maybe you're more a Lorde, a Britney Spears when they started. Or a Justin Bieber. Or maybe an Yngwie Malmsteen. OK. You don't have to be brutal to get this gig. But you've got to be weird. Very weird. Are you weird?

I am your door. Kick me down.

(And just as my examples above were all metal bands that expanded the genre without leaving it, I am looking for people to do a project that will work for the LotFP game specifically.

If you're interested in being published by LotFP, you need to send a pitch to lotfp@lotfp.com -- subject line REVOLTING YOUTH -- describing the project you want to do. If selected, you will need to verify your age and sign a contact - and your legal guardian too if you're not yet 18 - after which I will send you a 1000€ advance versus future royalties.

My selections will be made based on submissions made through November 15.

If selected you will be expected to turn in a draft no less than 12,000 words -- I'm not after micro-projects -- within six months, after which it will go through an editing process*. And then it needs to be playtested by you. And we will go from there to team you up with the industry's best to release a killer, killer book that will (hopefully) bring us all fame and fortune.

Even if you aren't selected for the advance, if you have a cool idea, we may do a deal where you still get the royalties, just not the advance. Up to you.

And will you put your goddamn cell phone away every once in a while? Kids these days. Fuck.

* I want to be your Scott Burns, your Tomas Skogsberg, your Pytten. Not your Bob Rock.)
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