Dear vending machine stocked with poor choices: after careful consideration and staring at a $5 bill for some time, I came to the conclusion that I was willing to deal with $4+ worth of change for a salty reprieve from the mental servitude that I must endure. However, contrary to your signage that welcomes the use of both $1 and $5, you insisted upon the use of exact change. After rummaging through multiple bags, I managed to find the change required to obtain the MSG laden bag of Doritos that I now strongly desired. Once again, you shot down all hopes with dull clunks, as you refused my pennies. With only $.90 of the requisite $.95, and growing desperation, I settled for the $.80 jalepeno kettle chips -- a worthy substitute in trying times. However, you once again twisted that back-stabbing knife, insisting that their worth is more than I could offer. And so here I sit, my dreams dashed, forced to live out my day with a less than satisfactory companion in a bag of baked bbq chips until I am free of this cold and lonely dungeon.