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Dreaded Rhubarb
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Sopia like red velvet dresses, menthol cigarettes and other people's lovers. Gay men and straight women would do in a pinch but for real sensual satisfaction she needed to know somebody would be crying in the morning. Pleasure, she said, can't be given it c...

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Take my advice. When you realize someone is not for you, cut your losses. No matter how cute they are, do not pursue. I learned this from Simon. Simon was an activist introduced to me in the toilets at some random queer party by a nice crusty girl called Be...

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Faded Glories, The Motion Picture.
I didn't watch Eurovision so I just caught up with Conchita Wurst's performance and all I could think was "Hmm, that sounds a lot like a Bond theme to me." Then I started wondering if a trans Bond Girl would be a step forward, a step sideways or simply a tr...

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Tears of a clown.
No matter how hard they try, camp always leaks back into the Bond films. In this case, by naming the film Octopussy and making the title character a beautiful jewel thief and head of a cult of amazon circus performers, camp doesn't so much leak as gush back...

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The eyes are fine but what about my ears?
The 1980s were not kind to Bond. For over a decade the Bond films were the biggest thing going but now Hollywood was doing the same thing but bigger. As delightful as I find Moonraker 's miniature shots, they did look static and old-fashioned next to Star W...

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Miniature perfection.
Moonraker is clearly my favourite Bond film by a long way because it knows what it's main draw is. Long, lingering close-ups of stunningly beautiful models, lit and filmed with obsessive love to produce the most ravishing images possible. What kind of model...

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Transgender Day Of Remembrance.
It's a bitterly cold night out which seems appropriate. Another long list of people who are dead now and shouldn't be, killed mostly ignorant bigots who don't know how much they're letting their dysfunction show and reported by media with a startling lack o...

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Love was a euphemism in the seventies.
It's disquieting that this blog has spent the year preoccupied with something as crap as Bond films, it was never meant to take this long. But it's too late to go back my darlings, that way lies only madness, the abyss and toupees. We must go on. On to The ...

It's the Liz and Pauline on the Sofa Show.
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