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Brenda McDaniel
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My name is Brenda McDaniel and I am the proud mother of Brittany 24, Adrian 16, and Shia 9. I have 1 grandchild....Sebastian 3. I am a PROUD CHRISTian and I am NOT afraid to let anyone know that. I owe everything that I am to God and I want everyone to know that. I am a single mother....a PROUD single mother! I am also a survivor.....a survivor of Domestic Violence. I was married for 9 years to someone that controlled every single move that I made and made my life so difficult that I became someone that I no longer recognized. When I almost died from something that was done to me by this person I decided that ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH and I started my LONG journey to get out and to protect myself and my babies. I knew that it would be hard, but I knew that it couldn't be any harder than facing the fact and admitting that I was a victim of abuse and that the person that I had given so much to, and had taken so much was also the one responsible for me almost dying. I went through many hours of therapy and lots of medications just so I could survive day to day at first.....then little by little I became stronger and wanted out.....HAD TO GET OUT!!! I have spent my entire life in and out of church being a "here and there Sunday morning bench warmer that could only say I had gotten Baptized sometime back in my 20's".....but I NEVER had a relationship with God. When I finally was ready to make the exit out of the living hell that I and my babies were in, I asked God to please help me. I asked Him to please just reveal Himself to me in everyway....."including the paint peeling on the walls"....reveal Himself to me in ways that I couldn't even begin to imagine. And with this request, I promised Him that if He could prove to me that I could be forgiven for ALL of the horrible things I had done....said....been a part of....thought.....and even wanted to do, that I would give Him myself and my children and I would turn my life around. I promised Him that if He would just teach me how to learn about Him and how to teach my babies that I would be the woman that He intended for me to do. And I promised Him that if He would see us through and protect us that I would give Him ALL of the praise and glory. I also asked Him to please just keep us laughing.....something that we were not use to. To teach me how to be the woman and the mother that He had always planned for me to be. And I asked Him to please let my story be told. To please let me share with others what "Domestic Violence" is.....and to help me make others understand that you just don't have to have broken bones and black eyes to be abused and controlled. To help me find my voice again and learn to speak about what mental and emotional abuse does to someone. And when I asked Him all of this I meant it with everything in me. And THAT is where this journey truly started. And as I have come to know the "real" Brenda, I stay in awe of who God has revealed to me that I really am. I've spent most of my life wanting to be "Mrs. Barnaby Jones"....a P.I. that you didn't want on your case....or that you did. But little by little God has replaced that desire as I've continued to ask Him to PLEASE put me in a position to help women and children and to let my story be told. And as time has went on He has done just that. I am so much stronger than I ever thought of myself to be....and that's ONLY because I KNOW that "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME"......I believe that with my whole being. He has led me to a church with the most awesome God loving people....and the best Pastor that I have ever heard preach. God has used my pastor to help me and my babies heal by doing what he does.....preaching! It was like I had stepped in a child's Sunday School class and started learning from the bottom up about WHO Jesus WAS/IS and WHO God IS!! My relationship with God is the MOST IMPORTANT part of my life....and my relationship with my babies is next....and these relationships are so close that I like to say "you can't even get air in between them".....I spent years being an abused woman and in turn I was NOT a good mother. I stayed curled up on the couch sleeping most of my days away....not attending sporting events, field trips, going outside to play, and MANY other things. I wasted SO MUCH of my time, and I will NEVER waste another second. Single parenting can be hard at times....especially when everyone needs to go in different directions....but God has taught me how to slow down and let Him figure out all of the little details. And the amazing part?! He has worked it out EVERYTIME!!! :0) I have been through more horrible times than I care to remember, but those things mixed with ALL of the Grace, Love, Mercy and Blessings that God has POURED into our lives are the reason I am who I am today. I am also working on a book about what all I have survived because it seems like something that couldn't actually be true....and if it wasn't for friends, family, doctors, dentist, etc that can stand and say that these things are true....I can guarantee you that no one would believe me. But as bad as the marriage was....that was a day at the park compared to the divorce because I've had to stand in front of a judge that thought I needed to be taught a lesson but never felt that I deserved to be heard. But God has taught me a very valuable lesson by keeping my mouth shut....."being still".....and with all of those lessons, He has brought TRUTH OUT INTO THE LIGHT FOR ALL TO SEE!!!! And for those of you that are on my FaceBook, you know that I love to write and do so from my heart. I have been asked numerous times to start a blog....but close friends and family....and even by people that I have only known for a short period of time and that do not know anything about what myself and my babies have been through. I have also been asked time and time again "have you ever thought about becoming a writer" :0) .....and my answer has is always "yes". I KNOW that God has given me a way with words....more so when I'm writing...because sometimes when I speak people think I've lost my mind or I offend them because I just speak the truth....NEVER MEANING TO BE RUDE.....just speaking the truth, and some people just do not know how to take that. I have been Blessed with the MOST AWESOME friends.....my best friends from High School....Tamara and Pam, and the wife of a classmate Arlene. I could not have survived ALL of the things that I went through had it not been for them being by my side and KNOWING the truths about things and helping me to survive and get through them. I have a wonderful family that I am finally getting to know all over again after being separated from them for 5 years. I thank God that He has put me back with my family, and I thank God that I have the awesome Mother and Sister that I have that has helped me so much during this terrible time. I now have a job that God has Blessed me in SOOOO MANY ways to have....and guess what?! It's helping women!!! I LOVE MY JOB!!! I work with some wonderful God loving CHRISTian women and I couldn't be happier!! So with all of this being said....I want to thank EVERYONE that has prayed for me and my babies, supported us, cheered us on and helped provide for us when I couldn't. I love each and everyone of you and I pray that God Blesses each of you with more than you could ever imagine. I love you all!!! WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
My name is Brenda McDaniel and I am the proud mother of Brittany 24, Adrian 16, and Shia 9. I have 1 grandchild....Sebastian 3. I am a PROUD CHRISTian and I am NOT afraid to let anyone know that. I owe everything that I am to God and I want everyone to know that. I am a single mother....a PROUD single mother! I am also a survivor.....a survivor of Domestic Violence. I was married for 9 years to someone that controlled every single move that I made and made my life so difficult that I became someone that I no longer recognized. When I almost died from something that was done to me by this person I decided that ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH and I started my LONG journey to get out and to protect myself and my babies. I knew that it would be hard, but I knew that it couldn't be any harder than facing the fact and admitting that I was a victim of abuse and that the person that I had given so much to, and had taken so much was also the one responsible for me almost dying. I went through many hours of therapy and lots of medications just so I could survive day to day at first.....then little by little I became stronger and wanted out.....HAD TO GET OUT!!! I have spent my entire life in and out of church being a "here and there Sunday morning bench warmer that could only say I had gotten Baptized sometime back in my 20's".....but I NEVER had a relationship with God. When I finally was ready to make the exit out of the living hell that I and my babies were in, I asked God to please help me. I asked Him to please just reveal Himself to me in everyway....."including the paint peeling on the walls"....reveal Himself to me in ways that I couldn't even begin to imagine. And with this request, I promised Him that if He could prove to me that I could be forgiven for ALL of the horrible things I had done....said....been a part of....thought.....and even wanted to do, that I would give Him myself and my children and I would turn my life around. I promised Him that if He would just teach me how to learn about Him and how to teach my babies that I would be the woman that He intended for me to do. And I promised Him that if He would see us through and protect us that I would give Him ALL of the praise and glory. I also asked Him to please just keep us laughing.....something that we were not use to. To teach me how to be the woman and the mother that He had always planned for me to be. And I asked Him to please let my story be told. To please let me share with others what "Domestic Violence" is.....and to help me make others understand that you just don't have to have broken bones and black eyes to be abused and controlled. To help me find my voice again and learn to speak about what mental and emotional abuse does to someone. And when I asked Him all of this I meant it with everything in me. And THAT is where this journey truly started. And as I have come to know the "real" Brenda, I stay in awe of who God has revealed to me that I really am. I've spent most of my life wanting to be "Mrs. Barnaby Jones"....a P.I. that you didn't want on your case....or that you did. But little by little God has replaced that desire as I've continued to ask Him to PLEASE put me in a position to help women and children and to let my story be told. And as time has went on He has done just that. I am so much stronger than I ever thought of myself to be....and that's ONLY because I KNOW that "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME"......I believe that with my whole being. He has led me to a church with the most awesome God loving people....and the best Pastor that I have ever heard preach. God has used my pastor to help me and my babies heal by doing what he does.....preaching! It was like I had stepped in a child's Sunday School class and started learning from the bottom up about WHO Jesus WAS/IS and WHO God IS!! My relationship with God is the MOST IMPORTANT part of my life....and my relationship with my babies is next....and these relationships are so close that I like to say "you can't even get air in between them".....I spent years being an abused woman and in turn I was NOT a good mother. I stayed curled up on the couch sleeping most of my days away....not attending sporting events, field trips, going outside to play, and MANY other things. I wasted SO MUCH of my time, and I will NEVER waste another second. Single parenting can be hard at times....especially when everyone needs to go in different directions....but God has taught me how to slow down and let Him figure out all of the little details. And the amazing part?! He has worked it out EVERYTIME!!! :0) I have been through more horrible times than I care to remember, but those things mixed with ALL of the Grace, Love, Mercy and Blessings that God has POURED into our lives are the reason I am who I am today. I am also working on a book about what all I have survived because it seems like something that couldn't actually be true....and if it wasn't for friends, family, doctors, dentist, etc that can stand and say that these things are true....I can guarantee you that no one would believe me. But as bad as the marriage was....that was a day at the park compared to the divorce because I've had to stand in front of a judge that thought I needed to be taught a lesson but never felt that I deserved to be heard. But God has taught me a very valuable lesson by keeping my mouth shut....."being still".....and with all of those lessons, He has brought TRUTH OUT INTO THE LIGHT FOR ALL TO SEE!!!! And for those of you that are on my FaceBook, you know that I love to write and do so from my heart. I have been asked numerous times to start a blog....but close friends and family....and even by people that I have only known for a short period of time and that do not know anything about what myself and my babies have been through. I have also been asked time and time again "have you ever thought about becoming a writer" :0) .....and my answer has is always "yes". I KNOW that God has given me a way with words....more so when I'm writing...because sometimes when I speak people think I've lost my mind or I offend them because I just speak the truth....NEVER MEANING TO BE RUDE.....just speaking the truth, and some people just do not know how to take that. I have been Blessed with the MOST AWESOME friends.....my best friends from High School....Tamara and Pam, and the wife of a classmate Arlene. I could not have survived ALL of the things that I went through had it not been for them being by my side and KNOWING the truths about things and helping me to survive and get through them. I have a wonderful family that I am finally getting to know all over again after being separated from them for 5 years. I thank God that He has put me back with my family, and I thank God that I have the awesome Mother and Sister that I have that has helped me so much during this terrible time. I now have a job that God has Blessed me in SOOOO MANY ways to have....and guess what?! It's helping women!!! I LOVE MY JOB!!! I work with some wonderful God loving CHRISTian women and I couldn't be happier!! So with all of this being said....I want to thank EVERYONE that has prayed for me and my babies, supported us, cheered us on and helped provide for us when I couldn't. I love each and everyone of you and I pray that God Blesses each of you with more than you could ever imagine. I love you all!!! WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

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Starting a Blog
Well, as everyone knows....I LOVE to write!!!! I love to write about things that are near and dear to my heart.....whether it's something that I enjoy, things that I have walked through, something that I think people need to look at from a different point of view other than their own, or something that just really annoys me on how we as humans think that it's ok to harm others JUST BECAUSE we FEEL that it's OUR RIGHT!!  I have voiced my opinion many times about things that DID NOT make me popular....but once again, those things were about showing someone that there ARE other views....and things AREN'T ALWAYS what they seem by looking with our eyes and not our hearts.  As some of you know, I am in the process of writing a book about the life I have lived for the past 10 years......a life of abuse....a very dark and disturbing life.....a life that almost cost me my own life.....both spritually AND physically...a life that I had so unselfishly drug my babies through and was so blinded that I thought the abuse ONLY altered my own life and not theirs.  It wasn't until I was able to get us out that God opened my eyes and showed me just how much me staying had altered their lives....their way of thinking, their feelings, their fears, their emotions, their stability......EVERYTHING!! I've known my whole life that I had a gift of writing because I am able to sit down and no matter what the subject the words just seem to flow.  It wasn't until I really started writing about things that myself and my babies were walking through and how God was revealing life to me on my Facebook page that people started asking me over and over and over if I had ever thought about writing.  At first I just laughed it off, but I KNEW that deep inside me that I LOVED to write....that was why I have kept a journal most of my life.  And then one day as I was going through journals it was like God just turned on this light inside me and I really realized that my gift from Him was my ability to write...my ability to use my words......whether I was writing in my journal, to a friend, or a "Happy Birthday" to someone.....there was this need in me to make my reader feel good about themselves and to make them feel things that maybe they hadn't never felt before....make them understand things that they maybe had never given much thought to before.  I had always told friends and family that if I really wanted to get my point across, I HAD to do so in writing.....that way I wasn't interrupted and my points would all come together.....and then I wouldn't be misunderstood.  And at the moment the light came on, I CLEARLY heard "You have a story to tell.....a story that will seem unreal.....a story that can help others.....a story that will show the healing, grace, love and mercy of God......a story that will also help you and your babies to heal further....and a story that will show others that ONLY God can make a way that IS rough be filled with so much beauty, peace, forgiveness and healing."  At that moment I decided that I was going to write a book.....and I thought "I will have this thing written in no time".....but I was WRONG!  I did not realize just how hard it would be to come face to face with so many horrific memories.......and how much harder it would be for me mentally and spiritually to realize that so much of what I had lived through was a hazy like dream of drugs and alcohol....and the ONLY way I could put pieces together was through connecting the dots of my journal postings....asking God to please give me clarity and the help of my dear sweet friends Pam and Arlene, whom had walked with me as I was drug day by day into Hell by the person that was my spouse.  There are many times that something will trigger a memory that I have buried away and I grab my phone and add a note so that I can write about it later.....some of those things I haven't touched yet because I am not ready to go there.  I have even thought "maybe I shouldn't be writing this"....and then God would send another person to me that would ask "Have you ever thought about writing Brenda?"  And with everytime that this happened, I would just smile and slowly get back into my writing.  But not too long ago, in one week I met 2 strangers....one two different days.....and as we talked about life in general, things came up and a door was opened where I was able to talk about the healing that God had so graciously BLESSED me with from the pain and suffering that I endured for so long....and BOTH of those strangers upon hearing some of my story asked "Have you ever thought about writing a book....you have a story that's worth telling."  WOW!!  That time when I got into the car, I started laughing and crying at the same time, and I said "Ok God.....I hear you....I am ready to write this book....but Lord, please give me the strength to tell the truth....and we both know that the truth will also reveal MY OWN ugilies....uglies that will even throw my best girlfriends and family into total shock....and that part scares me....it scares me to be open about the things that I have kept secret about myself.....how will the people that I love and care for accept them....how will the new friends that I've come to treasure feel about me.....but I KNOW that I need to tell this story so that I can show people what YOU have done for me and my babies since I've given you my life."  And with that moment of complete FEAR of KNOWING what God was telling me to do....not only by Him speaking to me and filling my heart with the desire to tell our story......but by Him letting the SAME words come out of so many peoples mouths to me, I heard "But with this you will help so many, and you will show so many what abuse is....that it's NOT just hitting.....you can open the eyes to so many that need their eyes opened.....and do not worry what others will think......I've got you!"  And with that I made the clear decision to write....and write I do.  There are so many things I want to write about on Facebook just because I know that there is a broad audience, but I don't because those are some of the things that I need to put into my book....and because I don't think anyone will sit and read a 20 page posting! LOL!  But a few weeks ago, a very sweet lady that I had the pleasure of meeting this past year because our babies were in the HS band together asked me "Brenda, have you ever thought about writing....I love to read your postings"....I answered her and told her yes and explained that I am in the process of doing so right now, and that I've been told that many times....and thanked her for her compliment..... and she then a few days later she messaged me and asked if I had ever thought about blogging and said that she thought I would be good at it.....soooooo, Regina, this is my blog space that I have created....and I thank you so very much for your idea.  I think that I am really going to enjoy this.....now I pray that God will allow me to have the right words to say and that people will forever be changed....in a positive way about the things that I will talk about.  I'm sure not all of my postings will go over with everyone.....but my intention is to show that if you just step out of your own thinking and look at someone through the eyes and heart of someone broken....or through the eyes of God....JUST as He so graciously looks at each and everyone of us everyday.....that instead of disagreeing, you may learn something and maybe you can turn around and be a true Blessing to someone that God has placed in your life for JUST that reason.....maybe you will see that life isn't as black and white as we sometimes so foolishly believe. Thank you so very much Regina....I am so thankful that God has Blessed my life with getting to meet you.  Thank you SO VERY MUCH to ALL of my friends and family that have asked me to write.....Shia, Adrian, Mama, Pam, Tam, Karen....my dear, sweet friend that makes me want to be softer spoken, Arlene, and everyone else that has been used by God to utter the words that He wanted me to hear loud and clear.....and He used each and everyone of you to be His voice.  I love all of you!  So here this thing goes! :0) 

Well, as everyone knows....I LOVE to write!!!! I love to write about things that are near and dear to my heart.....whether it's something that I enjoy, things that I have walked through, something that I think people need to look at from a different point of view other than their own, or something that just really annoys me on how we as humans think that it's ok to harm others JUST BECAUSE we FEEL that it's OUR RIGHT!!  I have voiced my opinion many times about things that DID NOT make me popular....but once again, those things were about showing someone that there ARE other views....and things AREN'T ALWAYS what they seem by looking with our eyes and not our hearts.  As some of you know, I am in the process of writing a book about the life I have lived for the past 10 years......a life of abuse....a very dark and disturbing life.....a life that almost cost me my own life.....both spritually AND physically...a life that I had so unselfishly drug my babies through and was so blinded that I thought the abuse ONLY altered my own life and not theirs.  It wasn't until I was able to get us out that God opened my eyes and showed me just how much me staying had altered their lives....their way of thinking, their feelings, their fears, their emotions, their stability......EVERYTHING!! I've known my whole life that I had a gift of writing because I am able to sit down and no matter what the subject the words just seem to flow.  It wasn't until I really started writing about things that myself and my babies were walking through and how God was revealing life to me on my Facebook page that people started asking me over and over and over if I had ever thought about writing.  At first I just laughed it off, but I KNEW that deep inside me that I LOVED to write....that was why I have kept a journal most of my life.  And then one day as I was going through journals it was like God just turned on this light inside me and I really realized that my gift from Him was my ability to write...my ability to use my words......whether I was writing in my journal, to a friend, or a "Happy Birthday" to someone.....there was this need in me to make my reader feel good about themselves and to make them feel things that maybe they hadn't never felt before....make them understand things that they maybe had never given much thought to before.  I had always told friends and family that if I really wanted to get my point across, I HAD to do so in writing.....that way I wasn't interrupted and my points would all come together.....and then I wouldn't be misunderstood.  And at the moment the light came on, I CLEARLY heard "You have a story to tell.....a story that will seem unreal.....a story that can help others.....a story that will show the healing, grace, love and mercy of God......a story that will also help you and your babies to heal further....and a story that will show others that ONLY God can make a way that IS rough be filled with so much beauty, peace, forgiveness and healing."  At that moment I decided that I was going to write a book.....and I thought "I will have this thing written in no time".....but I was WRONG!  I did not realize just how hard it would be to come face to face with so many horrific memories.......and how much harder it would be for me mentally and spiritually to realize that so much of what I had lived through was a hazy like dream of drugs and alcohol....and the ONLY way I could put pieces together was through connecting the dots of my journal postings....asking God to please give me clarity and the help of my dear sweet friends Pam and Arlene, whom had walked with me as I was drug day by day into Hell by the person that was my spouse.  There are many times that something will trigger a memory that I have buried away and I grab my phone and add a note so that I can write about it later.....some of those things I haven't touched yet because I am not ready to go there.  I have even thought "maybe I shouldn't be writing this"....and then God would send another person to me that would ask "Have you ever thought about writing Brenda?"  And with everytime that this happened, I would just smile and slowly get back into my writing.  But not too long ago, in one week I met 2 strangers....one two different days.....and as we talked about life in general, things came up and a door was opened where I was able to talk about the healing that God had so graciously BLESSED me with from the pain and suffering that I endured for so long....and BOTH of those strangers upon hearing some of my story asked "Have you ever thought about writing a book....you have a story that's worth telling."  WOW!!  That time when I got into the car, I started laughing and crying at the same time, and I said "Ok God.....I hear you....I am ready to write this book....but Lord, please give me the strength to tell the truth....and we both know that the truth will also reveal MY OWN ugilies....uglies that will even throw my best girlfriends and family into total shock....and that part scares me....it scares me to be open about the things that I have kept secret about myself.....how will the people that I love and care for accept them....how will the new friends that I've come to treasure feel about me.....but I KNOW that I need to tell this story so that I can show people what YOU have done for me and my babies since I've given you my life."  And with that moment of complete FEAR of KNOWING what God was telling me to do....not only by Him speaking to me and filling my heart with the desire to tell our story......but by Him letting the SAME words come out of so many peoples mouths to me, I heard "But with this you will help so many, and you will show so many what abuse is....that it's NOT just hitting.....you can open the eyes to so many that need their eyes opened.....and do not worry what others will think......I've got you!"  And with that I made the clear decision to write....and write I do.  There are so many things I want to write about on Facebook just because I know that there is a broad audience, but I don't because those are some of the things that I need to put into my book....and because I don't think anyone will sit and read a 20 page posting! LOL!  But a few weeks ago, a very sweet lady that I had the pleasure of meeting this past year because our babies were in the HS band together asked me "Brenda, have you ever thought about writing....I love to read your postings"....I answered her and told her yes and explained that I am in the process of doing so right now, and that I've been told that many times....and thanked her for her compliment..... and she then a few days later she messaged me and asked if I had ever thought about blogging and said that she thought I would be good at it.....soooooo, Regina, this is my blog space that I have created....and I thank you so very much for your idea.  I think that I am really going to enjoy this.....now I pray that God will allow me to have the right words to say and that people will forever be changed....in a positive way about the things that I will talk about.  I'm sure not all of my postings will go over with everyone.....but my intention is to show that if you just step out of your own thinking and look at someone through the eyes and heart of someone broken....or through the eyes of God....JUST as He so graciously looks at each and everyone of us everyday.....that instead of disagreeing, you may learn something and maybe you can turn around and be a true Blessing to someone that God has placed in your life for JUST that reason.....maybe you will see that life isn't as black and white as we sometimes so foolishly believe. Thank you so very much Regina....I am so thankful that God has Blessed my life with getting to meet you.  Thank you SO VERY MUCH to ALL of my friends and family that have asked me to write.....Shia, Adrian, Mama, Pam, Tam, Karen....my dear, sweet friend that makes me want to be softer spoken, Arlene, and everyone else that has been used by God to utter the words that He wanted me to hear loud and clear.....and He used each and everyone of you to be His voice.  I love all of you!  So here this thing goes! :0) 
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