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are you satisfied with your psychological performance?
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The Top 10 Communication Skills

The following top ten tips for nonverbal communication can help you learn to read the nonverbal signals of other people and enhance your own ability to communicate effectively.

1. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Signals

People can communicate information in numerous ways; so pay attention to things like eye contact, gestures, posture, body movements, and tone of voice. All of these signals can convey important information that isn’t put into words. By paying closer attention to other people’s unspoken behaviors, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally.

2. Look for Incongruent Behaviors

If someone’s words do not match their nonverbal behaviors, you should pay careful attention. For example, someone might tell you they are happy while frowning and staring at the ground. Research has shown that when words fail to match up with nonverbal signals, people tend to ignore what has been said and focus instead on unspoken expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions.

3. Concentrate on Your Tone of Voice When Speaking

Your tone of voice can convey a wealth of information, ranging from enthusiasm to disinterest to anger. Start noticing how your tone of voice affects how others respond to you and try using tone of voice to emphasize ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show genuine interest in something, express your enthusiasm by using an animated tone of voice.

4. Use Good Eye Contact

When people fail to look others in the eye, it can seem as if they are evading or trying to hide something. On the other hand, too much eye contact can seem confrontational or intimidating. While eye contact is an important part of communication, it’s important to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring fixedly into someone’s eyes. How can you tell how much eye contact is correct? Some communication experts recommend intervals of eye contact lasting four to five seconds.

5. Ask Questions About Nonverbal Signals

If you are confused about another person’s nonverbal signals, don’t be afraid to ask questions. A good idea is to repeat back your interpretation of what has been said and ask for clarification. An example of this might be, “So what you are saying is that…”

6. Use Signals to Make Communication More Effective and Meaningful

Remember that verbal and nonverbal communication work together to convey a message. You can improve your spoken communication by using body language that reinforces and supports what you are saying. This can be especially useful when making presentations or when speaking to a large group of people.

7. Look at Signals as a Group

A single gesture can mean any number of things, or maybe even nothing at all. The key to accurately reading nonverbal behavior is to look for groups of signals that reinforce a common point. If you place too much emphasis on just one signal out of many, you might come to an inaccurate conclusion about what a person is trying to communicate.

8. Consider Context

When you are communicating with others, always consider the situation and the context in which the communication occurs. Some situations require more formal behaviors that might be interpreted very differently in any other setting. Consider whether or not nonverbal behaviors are appropriate for the context. If you are trying to improve your own nonverbal communication, concentrate on ways to make your signals match the level of formality necessitated by the situation.

9. Be Aware That Signals Can be Misread

According to some, a firm handshake indicates a strong personality while a weak handshake is taken as a lack of fortitude. This example illustrates an important point about the possibility of misreading nonverbal signals. A limp handshake might actually indicate something else entirely, such as arthritis. Always remember to look for groups of behavior. A person’s overall demeanor is far more telling than a single gesture viewed in isolation.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Some people just seem to have a knack for using nonverbal communication effectively and correctly interpreting signals from others. These people are often described as being able to “read people.” In reality, you can build this skill by paying careful attention to nonverbal behavior and practicing different types of nonverbal communication with others. By noticing nonverbal behavior and practicing your own skills, you can dramatically improve your communication abilities.
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12 Things Happy People do Differently

Happy people value and choose:

 1. Love over Fear: People, who are truly happy, are less fearful and more loving. They perceive every moment, every challenge, and every person as an opportunity to learn more about themselves and the world.

2. Acceptance over Resistance:  Happy people know that you can’t really change things by denying and resisting them. So when bad things happen, they don’t fight, get angry and complain. Instead, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better?

3. Forgiveness over Unforgiveness: Truly happy individuals understand that it’s destructive to hold on to feelings of anger. Instead, they choose to forgive and let go, understanding that (in the end) forgiveness is a gift they give themselves.

4. Trust over Mistrust: They trust themselves … and they have learned to figure out the trustworthy people – and those they should avoid.

5. Meaning over Ambition: Happy people do the things they do because it adds meaning and purpose to their lives. They’re not driven by the need to gain acceptance, praise and approval from others. 

6. Challenges over Obstacles: Happy people see problems as challenges, and as opportunities to explore new ways of seeing and doing things. That is, challenges are something that help them to grow.

7. Selflessness over Selfishness:  Happy people seek out ways ways to give to others - of themselves, their time, of their money, and their gifts. That is, they’re not self-focused and self-absorbed.

8. Kindness over Harshness: Happy people are gentle and kind with themselves and others. They know the importance and power of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance - and they freely love, forgive and accept other people, too.

9. Gratitude over Ingratitude: No matter where they are, or who they are with, happy people have the capacity to see beauty where others would only see ugliness – and they’re quick to express their gratitude, as well.

10. Being Present over Being Disengaged:  Happy people know how to live in the moment, appreciating what they have and who they are with. They are not constantly being dragged down by the past, or distracted by what could happen (or go wrong) in the future.

11. Positivity over Negativity: Regardless of the circumstances of life, happy people are able to adopt and maintain a positive, and upbeat, attitude and perspective.

12. Taking Responsibility over Blaming: Happy people assume full ownership for their lives. They assume responsibility for their life, choices, decisions, actions, reactions, beliefs and attitudes.
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How to Deal with Painful Feelings of Rejection
1. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust, and someone who accepts you unconditionally.
2. Make a list of all your positive traits. Include all the good things that you see in yourself, and everything that others have mentioned in the past. Make sure the list is detailed and very, very long!
3. Recognise that rejection says nothing about you. It is one specific person or one relationship. Don’t allow that to define you as a total individual. There’s so much more to you than that one aspect of your life.
4. Do something you enjoy. Take your mind off feeling lonely, or feeling like a failure, by choosing to do something that you usually enjoy (Listening to music, going to the movies, calling up a friend, reading a book etc). 
5. Treat yourself to something special like a new pair of jeans. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out a temporary boost. It can get you past this moment – so you can find the strength you need to pick up all the pieces and build your life again.
6. Do something physical like going for a run. It’s a great way to channel all that energy. Also, exercise has been shown to be a natural mood enhancer. 
7. Remember, not everyone will think you’re fabulous. That just part of being human … we’re different from each other. Accept and value your own uniqueness, your qualities, your strengths and your personality.
8. Remember that “this too will pass”. We all encounter various bumps along the way. It feels bad in the moment – but in time our feelings change.
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10 Things that can Wreck your Life

Not living in the moment. Always wishing you were somewhere else, doing something different with other people.
Blaming your problems on your past. Although the past affects us, it need not define us. We can choose, decide and act – and take control of our lives. Don’t let your past heartache and pain affect who you become.
Running away from problems. It’s pointless to bury your head in the sand and pretend that things are fine when you’re dealing with a problem. Face reality, take action and work to turn things round.
Being ungrateful. Being thankful sets you free in your heart and mind. It inspires all that’s good and, also, oils relationships. But an ungrateful person will wear others down. It destroys your spirit, and it saps your energy.
Being angry and bitter. Refusing to forgive and bearing grudges against others will slowly poison our personality. It’s much better to release them and to focus, instead, on living a happy and fulfilling life.
Letting your expectations rule your life. Life rarely goes smoothly and according to plan – and people disappoint us and let us down. Accepting this is normal takes some tension out of life.
Disrespecting yourself and others. Every single person deserves respect, and every single person is fighting their own battle. So focus on being kind, understanding and forgiving. 
Neglecting important relationship. A relationship that’s built on unconditional love – where a person accepts us for who and what we are – is truly a gift and is worth fighting for. Don’t take it for granted – recognise that it’s a gift.
Loving people who are bad for us. Not every person will build into your life. Be aware of those who who’ll use you, or who want to bring you down, or who want to hurt you, or destroy your confidence.
Never taking risks. If you always play it safe, you’ll find you end up going nowhere. You must be ready and willing to take risks. If you don’t, you may regret it as you’ll miss so much in life.  
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Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, Stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them.
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Why Self-Hatred is a Bad Idea

1. If you currently hate, or can’t live with, yourself there’s a very good chance that you believe a lot of lies. That is, lies that you’ve been told, and then accepted for yourself.

2. There’s only one you – and you’re truly valuable. You have special gifts and talents, and life experiences. And there’s a unique role that only you can play in life.

3. There’s always someone that you matter to. Even though, when we’re depressed, that is sometimes hard to see. You really matter to someone – and they truly care for you.

4. Even when things go wrong there is still a chance for change. There is hope for everyone – and change is possible. Keep on looking, keep on trying … and one day you will get there.

5. You were made to be loved and experience happiness. It is part of who we are – to keep living and keep dreaming. You deserve to find fulfilment – so don’t give up on yourself.  
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