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Monologue Genie
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Monologues for women and men posted bimonthly!
Monologues for women and men posted bimonthly!

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Great performance of the monologue for teens: There's No Place Like Oz!
http://www.monologuegenie.com/theres-no-place-like-oz-monologue.html

https://youtu.be/4a5VfibwR2M

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One minute monologues for audition and competition. Includes one minute versions of "I Ate the Divorce Papers", "It's Terrible Being Nice", "Yoga Fart" and more for women. Plus "The Fact Checker", "The Puppy Room", and "The Lazy Boy" for men.

http://www.monologuegenie.com/1-minute-monologues.html

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Great performance of "It's Terrible Being Nice"
(Source text: http://www.monologuegenie.com/its-terrible-being-nice-monol…)
https://youtu.be/8ol-0qzpbNc

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Great performance of "12 Years Wise" featured on Monologue Genie at http://www.monologuegenie.com/12-years-wise.html, published in "Best Contemporary Monologues for Kids Ages 12-15" http://www.amazon.com/Best-Contemporary-Monolo…/…/1495011771

Watch the performance from Broadway Artists Alliance Summer Session 2015: https://youtu.be/eM2A1l78mSs

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Studying statistics ... sort of. Procrastination in the form of a statistically inspired monologue:

"Bell Shaped Me"
I LOVE statistics and brownies. Because statistics help me eat brownies guilt free. In statistics, the average of any population is represented by a bell shaped curve. Which makes my bell shaped body average. I always thought I was overweight. Until I took statistics! Statistically, I’m of average weight. That is to say, if the bell shaped body is the average american body, then I’m of average american weight. Those pompous thin fuckers are the OUTLIERS. They’re the weird ones, I’m the NORMAL one! The bell shaped curve in statistics is called a NORMAL distribution. That makes the fat on my body normally distributed!!! The images we see in magazines are a lie! Those people are freaks! Their skinny asses are hanging on the tails of the bell curve. But those statistically marginal buttheads have the nerve to call me overweight? Truth be told, they are statistically underweight! So yeah, I love statistics and brownies. Want a bite?

Source: http://www.monologuegenie.com/bell-shaped-body-monologue.html

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Wife Alert!

Alarms no I don't use alarms. I find waking up beside my wife alarming enough. No I love my wife, I do, I do.

It's just she cannot sleep in. So I don't need an alarm, because I have this Wife Alert in bed. If it's the crack of dawn, she's alert.
It's like a genetic family trait. Like if they analyzed her DNA they'd see she's part rooster.

And I need my sleep. I love my sleep. And on the weekends and holidays I want to sleep in but instead I have this Wife Alert blaring "Coffee, coffee, time to make the coffee."

And it's like she's jealous of sleep, like she looks at me if I sleep in, like sleep is another woman. Like "oh so you'd rather be with sleep than me." She's almost mad, like she's caught me sleeping with sleep.

So we're in couples counseling, and she's like "he's sleeping on me, just constantly. In the middle of the day, he'll sneak into the study for a quickie." A quickie, that's her word for a nap.

But c'mon a nap is not the same as sleeping. If it's under an hour it's not sleeping!

Source: http://www.monologuegenie.com/wife-alert-monologue.html
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