Why is it that journalist rarely write about current events with this sort of language? It sounds so sophisticated!
"A thirsty crowd soon gathered around the keg, and ere long it was tapped. 'Ye gods,' what nectar was there! Glass after glass was emptied and quaffed with exclamations of satisfaction, and utterances of best wishes for the success of Richmond beer. A resolution was unanimously adopted that we must sustain Mr. Yuengling in his efforts to revive the beer interest of Richmond."