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Melizza Moore
Works at Mears
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Melizza Moore

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im using my mums tyoutube accout for now but hey im in my third year of college id gladly carry that around keep my tools in

Melizza Moore

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Deep Relaxation Therapy . Warning . TRIGGER .

It all started officially when I was seventeen years old . I had recently moved to a new foster family . Social Servicesdeemed that it was in my best interests to go into a third family as I was not ready just yet to go and live independantly . I was moved to this new family on 22nd July 1991 . I really liked my placement . I felt finally free , I could do what I wanted within reason . As long as I returned to the house to go to bed . I had been placed with a lovely Caribbean family . My social workers from thirteen were black or dual heritage , to match my ethnicity . I had left a Caucasian household of over ten years .

I cannot remember the exact time and date , but I had been recently packed in by a lad and I was very upset. All I remember of it now was my freaking out completely at when my foster carer tried to comfort me He went to hug me , bless him , but I had this wild flashback that brought me out in a panic . You see my panic was that an older black man was touching me in private places . I don't know where it had come from .  But I became nervous of all older black men .  ( Please don't think this is a racist piece of writing )

I grew up in an area that didn't have many Caribbean people . Somehow it got back to my social worker and Consultant Psychiatrist that my behaviour was becoming odder than usual . The next thing I remember was a 'therapy session' that dealt with underlying memories called 'Deep relaxation therapy ' .

As my Psychiatrist and I walked through the inpatients section of Thorneywood Unit , I remember seeing children and teenagers about the same ages as I . Was I the same as them , tainted by the mental health label ? , but they were living in the hospital . I just had appointments . I can't be that bad as I am not living here I thought as I walked through to an empty room .

I lay on a red leather couch thing and I remember talking to me , telling me to do things with muscles of my body . Quite soon I was deeply relaxed , almost like in a dream like state . She started to ask me questions . , then counting back and back to a time frame I am not consciously able to remember very well . She started to ask me questions . Presumely I answered them as in the transcript that I have in my CAHMS records ,  It talks about a dolly I had . Similar to my own name .

I started to tense up , feeling a panic in my throat as I started to recall a certain incident , a very traumatic incident , the room , the wallpaper . The face . As I was brought around from this haze , I woke to find my cheeks were all wet , my body clammy . I am led slowly out of the room in a daze to go home in a taxi that has been called for me . Only then do I equate the exact reason why I freaked out ..........
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Deirdre Barlow, one of Coronation Street's longest-running and most iconic characters, has been killed off in a heartbreaking scene which aired tonight, following the death of the actress Anne Kirkbride.
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What could have gone so wrong for a little girl to kill herself ? RIP Amber . Thoughts and prayers at this sad time for your family and friends :(
Nottinghamshire Police have confirmed that a body found yesterday is that of missing 13-year-old Amber Peat - and the cause of death was hanging. Formal identification and a post-mortem took place earlier today. Amber's body was discovered less than a mile from her Mansfield home. She went missing on Saturday.
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Lee and Katrina Parker have been left unable to afford the rent on their four-bedroom house and feed their seven children by the cruel measure
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My parents had a three-bedroomed house in which to raise seven children. There were three sisters in one room, three sisters in another bedroom and my brother had the box-room - and if our Nan came to stay, she had his room while he slept in the bathroom. Mum and Dad slept downstairs in the lounge. They never claimed any benefits, even though car mechanics didn't earn much then. We didn't even get free school meals.
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Melizza Moore

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An appeal has been launched to help identify a man found by police who says he does not know who he is. The man was found at Hammersmith bus station in London on 24 July. He is now in hospital, telling officers and medical staff that he does not know who he is. He was found with no injuries and is not believed to have any medical conditions. He is 5ft 7ins tall, of slim build with grey/black hair and a grey beard. When officers found him, he...
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Melizza Moore

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WARNING - TRIGGER .....

Then and now .

Do you recall the actual time when your parental figure sat you down to talk to you about important matters ? . The discussion of the facts of life . Also known as the birds and the bees . Yes that prickly subject of sex education . The bit where some parents cringe at having to discuss such intimate matters with your child .  My sex education was the cough cough we need to talk conversation one night after school . Sex education at school was a graphic black and white scientific documentary on a screen . It was very embarrassing as boys eyes were looking at me- at my breasts . Boys always wanted to touch me , right from an early age . I was not equipped to say the words NO at them , just in case they hurt me . Of course this is the real story , not the edited one on Facebook I just posted . I don't want to upset my mother with the truth .

I knew about those matters , as soon as I was curious to know that a boy is of the male species , that he has a dingle dangle . I was approximately seven years of age when I overheard a conversation by an older girl of what sexual intercourse was . It sounded dirty . I was so embarrassed to hear the descriptions of it . Blushed skin and this overiding anxiety took over . Of course I knew what a willy was at that age . Somehow a feeling of de ja vous that they were frightening . I couldn't explain why . When I was about eight a policeman came to my school . Some friends on my Facebook will remember this policeman visit . It was the 'say no to strangers ' campaign'  . He was giving us a talk about strange men . That you were not to go off with them . To tell somebody if somebody touched you in private places . Strange men who hung about parks , offered you with rewards . To refuse , go home to your mummy and tell her . The word Paedophile was not used then . As I grew up there were different names . Perverts we used to call them . I could always tell a pervert . To the men who looked too intently at you - staring at you . I was about twelve when older MEN would stare at my breasts . make what is NOW  deemed as inappropriate comments , whilst staring at my breasts . Leering at them . It made me feel uncomfortable as I was a child who was fully developed . With womanly curves . I guess I might have looked older than my years .

 I was thirteen when 'Sir' used to ogle my chest . It felt icky and dirty . He was an old man . He used to offer me extra tuition after school for singing lessons . Complimenting me at every opportunity on my vocal range . One day after class Sir asked me to put away the musical instruments in the cupboard . Mouting anxiety crept in . The cupboard was very dark and he was right behind me in there . He pressed up against me breathing very heavily . When I recall back there was something hard poking through his trousers . Sir had an erection . He groped my breasts . I immediately felt very sick . Of course it didn't take very long for things to happen . The upshot was Mr Lechy perv 'resigned' from school , a week after I told the headmistress what he'd done to me . I was deemed a liar and a trouble maker by most adults . Even my own foster carers used to say that  . Yes,  I was a troubled youngster but for particular reasons . But I couldn't put on my finger on WHAT was troubling me exactly . Well it is not easy to articulate that the world is full of weirdo's . Basically older boys might want to take advantage of me ( no kidding there Social Services ! ) .

My brush with lechy pervs did not start and end with this one incident . Gosh no  ! . There were the warnings of strange men who frequented woods near our school . They are now known as flashers . When a girl has an much older 'boyfriend' and does things with them , this is also a danger .  (Sexual exploitation ) The girl does not realise that she is being groomed for sexual abuse . She is overcome with the attention of an older bloke taking an interest .She feels that he is her boyfriend ! , that he really loves her because he says these things to her .  Buying her things , flattering her , complimenting her to stoke her esteem . It is clear how it works for a child with no self esteem , no self respect for themselves .

As I survey the news about thease gangs of men who groom youngsters for sex , my blood runs cold . It is very common , but only just being talked about . It has been happening for a very long time , but packaged as something else .Children stay silent as the emotional threats that go along side of this predatory behaviour is laced with 'Nobody will believe you ' . . So when a child display behaviours that are oversexed , and downright disturbing . They are branded derogatory names such as 'slag , slut' . As a teenager I thought that was my middle name . This was coming from children and adults regularly . I didn't properly understand that it was my aura that attracted the wrong types .

As I look back , it disturbs me that adults leave their children in vulnerable situations . Unsupervised . It is a common sight to see children playing out with no adult present . That children who go to play in lido's and water fountains are unclad . How does that parent know that some same lechy pervert is not taking pictures of their child ? . It disturbs me to see children running about with no clothes on . I took the oppurtunity to write a freedom of information request to the Metropolitan Police how indecent images are graded . They sent me some interesting information on the 'Copine Scale' of which these offences are committed . I passed this info on to a well known campaigner.

Of course what I didn't allude to of course on my Facebook page in front of my family members , is the question that sexual abuse does not only take place by strangers . In fact it is more likely to happen by somebody a child knows  and sadly trusts . The grooming has already taken place .

https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/indecent_images_of_children#incoming-105376
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Every day, I thank all the deities that the adults in my family never abused their authority, teachers taught and you listened to policemen. Mum always changed my brother's nappy away from us girls, and sex-ed was frogs and worms. Mum had six children after I was born, but I never knew how they got in her tummy, or how they came out, even though I was 14 years old when she had my youngest sister. What was a willy? What was a hard-on? I didn't have a clue until I got married!
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 One of your favourite musicals if I remember rightly . Enjoy x
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Two years older than me ? . I'm still prancing about dear x
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMrNDnU6PPk Flashback to early nineties when I was a teenager walking to my Mam's place and I could bare hear music busting out as I got nearer . Yes , we like this vibe . Just had a beautiful evening with ma brother :)
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Here is what I made earlier , for my youngest brother's wedding . Up ALL night after my shift ended , Bed for three hours . Finished skirt pretty quickly , the bodice was the second attempt from 06.30 to a couple of hours before the ceremony . The first satin top kept getting my nails snagged on it , so had to use work gloves and correct needle on this material . It cost me less to make and design than most people have no energy to mooch about the shops to get custom made items . Now have finished the second matching top to go with the skirt . Zzzz time now :)
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Re your pink fabric, is there enough to make a cardigan-type jacket? No need for buttons, just put ties at bazooma-level :) It'd be nice and comfy to wear, and good for cooler evenings.
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Have her in circles
62 people
Gillian Palmer's profile photo
Alison Jayne Stevens's profile photo
Rovilson Andrade's profile photo
Hugh Bissell's profile photo
angela borths's profile photo
Terry Rudd's profile photo
Michael Doherty's profile photo
Tim Downes's profile photo
Sarah Anderson's profile photo
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  • Mears
    Carer, 2013 - present
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Introduction
My name is pronounced Melissa. Greek for Bee. I am thirty six , married and four children. I am many things. Including a writer, researcher of "different topics and genres of interest"

I only wish that I had known about blogs and self publishing a long time ago. Then I wouldn't have to wait for publishers. Or their approval. 

I am oppiniated, ordinary down to earth,  who says what a lot of people think , but do not dare. I can sometimes be tough, some people have said "determined and ruthless"  but actually a right old softy at heart. Well that is all y'all getting right about now.
Bragging rights
survived some pretty darned awful experiences as a child and young adult, but still here.
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Female