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Thomas Fitz
Works at Riposte Publishing
Attends School of Hard Knocks
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Thomas Fitz

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Thomas Fitz

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May God have mercy on our souls.

http://amzn.to/1LKLljM
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Natalie Portman To Mine a Few More Blood Diamonds From the Back of JFK's Skull
Was that Natalie Portman in Blood Diamonds?  I was to busy not seeing it to notice. In any case, the exciting news is that Nat is going to play Jackie (and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, too. Just wrap your mind about how not-sanctimonious and unpreachy that pile of ...
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I'm Not Dead, I'm Just Lame.
The whole point of this blog is not to blog on it, but there will be some content proceeding shortly. I've been working on a thing, and it's not going to suck when I finish it. In the meantime, I'm trying to decide if I should buy  Yeezus  by Kanye West. It...
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The Only Thing More Boring Than Soccer is Arguing About Soccer
At this writing, the World Cup is either over or not over. I hear the Germans kicked the Brazilians teeth in, which has already been good for a few Eichmann jokes. And where would the world be without Eichmann jokes? Two Jews walk into a bar…what? So I'm co...
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If I Grow a Pink Moustache, Can I Raise Awarness for Breast Prostates?
I mean, that should be what Caitlin Jenner does, right? Does Caitlin still have a prostate? Should I even ask these questions? Can I blame Daylight Savings Affective Disorder if I shouldn't? Is that even a thing? Who determines that a thing is "a thing"? Is...
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Now I have a Magazine. Whoop-De-Doo.
I should have known that wriggling out of that NaNoWriMo fuckery would come back to haunt me. Instead of recognizing my limitations, as a gentleman would and all philosophers command, instead of letting me be and create according to my own rigourous "whenev...
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This is happening.
The Magazine that Could, if It Wanted To. But It Doesn't, Because it Won't. But It Will, Because You Say it Shan't. Also, jokes
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It's time to say something nasty about upcoming Kennedy films...
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And Now, Syrian Refugee Porn
It has come to our attention that you decadent Western scum with your suburban houses and your terrible television have a few spare minutes not feeling guilty about everything that has ever happened in the world, ever. Please allow us to fictionally terrify...
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Thomas Fitz

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Story
Tagline
I drink so you don't have to.
Introduction
I am an author and wastrel, working on my first novel, and I give small damns about other things.
Bragging rights
I have a short story published on Amazon.
Education
  • School of Hard Knocks
    Feces Ingestion, 1987 - present
Links
Contributor to
Work
Occupation
I think I covered this.
Employment
  • Riposte Publishing
    Intern, present
Basic Information
Gender
Male