The 2nd last paragraph is a good summary. Thanks, we can now survive a little longer by cutting our tethers to the internet...
There's a whole generation whom Google has already wowed with their bag of tricks, who is now thinking... "now they want us to pay." And possibly... that's not the Google we love and know... this is a mutation and it's scary ...to these Google Cheerleaders... who are also now growing up and realizing that the "primitive" money that the world revolves around, is still the best tech we've got, ruling the world...
...yet... we quite possibly share that yearning for the mirage of a social utopia on the horizon ... flickering in the distance over a desert of technology.... a yearning to overcome the mistakes of centuries, the "me-first" evolution of eons with a "world-first" neo-cortical-information-evolution.... eager to well and truly step into this looming age of abundance, and abolish suffering even without mindful meditation.
So what would I have liked to read?
Something short and wacky. More in line with the Google personality we know.
But I'm not an investor and as of this moment, I'd have to drive a broken car for another while if I wanted to buy even one share.
So, for that me, what would I have liked to read?
Here it is: (!)
Google has organized the world's information.
Now Google is organizing the world!
Google is reinventing the economy.
...the banks wouldn't like that, though... In fact, it would be the sum of everyone's fears.
But that's what some fear anyways, so play to it. Because this toning it down isn't working...
...perhaps just play with the wording...
Google is giving you real time insight into what is making the world tick.
Google has searched you, and found what life is all about. It's not 42! It's for two: us and you.
GOOGLE IS GIVING YOU THE ANSWERS TO LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING. NOW IT'S ALL UP TO YOU.
What? You don't want the burden?
Okay, in truth, Google Isn't going anywhere... We're sitting tight. But we can't do it alone either.
Google is giving all its customers equity in proportion to how much they spend.
GOOGLE IS GOING INTO CRYPTO CURRENCY IN A BIG WAY!
Every search, gets you a piece of Google.
Every cent you spend, gets you another piece.
Google is here to stop Mark Zuckerberg from turning into Emperor Palpatine!
Oh wait, sorry got my fan fiction al warped.
...Actually, we can't do any of that. We're too dumb. Come work for us? Please?
Just kidding, we're building a super auto-pilot that will figure it all out. Hopefully before you do. So we can control it! AND RULE!
Actually, we're spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to make it dumb enough to control.
Actually, we're not dumb enough to do that. So we're building two, so they can control each other.
Oh wait, what's that? What? Hundreds of millions? Cpu's? Solar power? Radio waves?
Oh... shit... what, who? Dammit!