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Tricia Lorntson
Attended School of Hard Knocks
Lives in St. Paul, MN
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Tricia Lorntson

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Check Yoself Before You Wreck Yoself: A Springtime PSA
It's fifty-five degrees outside, perfect for a meandering walk or a bike ride. Perfect too, apparently, for another day on my knees in front of the toilet. It's been over a year since my diagnosis. Thousands of shots. Thousands of pills. I stutter and tremb...
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Tricia Lorntson

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Just in Case
This time tomorrow I'll be walking the plank. A cold ass ice-plank that ends in 32-degree water. Since I'm hoping not to die of a massive heart attack brought on by shock,  I packed meds to last through the weekend. This morning - just as I was about to wri...
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Tricia Lorntson

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She Talks to Angels
2014 has started out harsh. I started a new drug combo the day after Christmas and have spent all but two or three days since then flat on my back. The yellow liquid looks like acrylic paint and it tastes like pennies and the herxing has been spectacular. I...
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Tricia Lorntson

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Cyber Monday
Thirties, dark and snowing. Perfect day for cyber shopping, there are no crowds in your pajamas (we hope). I've compiled a handy list of folks I know who make cool stuff and sell it online. You're welcome. 10. My friend TJ Lubrano paints the prettiest water...
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Tricia Lorntson

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Monday Marvels on Tuesday
The Top Ten Reasons to be Thankful for Monday, November 11th? 10. I'm thankful for Friday night kid craft parties because where else does one find such amazing hippie pillows? The bedazzles fall off but it's OK because you definitely know when you step on o...
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In her circles
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Cowabunga
It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission, so let me start with an apology to everyone who demanded I check with my doctor before participating in a Polar Plunge for the Special Olympics. (I also feel the need to clarify that I was raising money for th...
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Dunking with Daryl
1983-ish Every summer we spent two weeks at our grandparents' lake house, a bunch of wild little cousins. Daryl was the adorable curly haired tot who wet the bed on my brother and took the rap for all of our transgressions. There was a hard wooden time-out ...
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My Holiday Card
I've been MIA. First my hands went numb which interferes with my words per minute, then it seemed like I'd best say something important since it had been so long. That paralyzed me, as I have little to say of importance, ever. Next I got caught up in the wo...
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Tricia Lorntson

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Turkey with a Side of Humble Pie
I seem to have lost a week or two somewhere. I haven't blogged. I marveled in my mind but last Monday I was down hard with tremors, one of the latest fun symptoms. I was in bed all day Monday. And most of Tuesday. Actually until Friday. Then back in bed by ...
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Monday Marvels
The Top Ten Reasons to Marvel over Monday, November 4th 10. I am thankful for the opportunity to wear zombie makeup and give away $25.00 worth of candy to fifteen kids. I didn't even get to see one fat baby dressed like a lion or a strawberry, but I'm not b...
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People
In her circles
82 people
Work
Occupation
Will write for food, beverage, spare change
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
St. Paul, MN
Story
Tagline
Author, Confessions of a Recovering Cynic
Introduction
I'm a shameless writer missing several brain cells and a filter. I write about stuff you don't want to know but you laugh anyhow then glance around surreptitiously to see if anyone noticed and you feel vaguely ashamed.
Bragging rights
I was an extra in Mallrats, my big toes are double-jointed and I make a mean homemade salsa.
Education
  • School of Hard Knocks
Basic Information
Gender
Female
Other names
Tershbango