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Bradford Bright
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Bradford Bright

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Hehe yeah thanks - and I bet it is going to prove true relatively soon!
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Bradford Bright

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WASHINGTON—Admitting that their behavior in previous years had left them embarrassed and ashamed, the nation’s dogs announced Thursday that they intend on keeping their shit together during this year’s Fourth of July fireworks displays.
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Bradford Bright

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Here’s what you need to know about Rick Perry​: 
Former Texas governor Rick Perry announced Thursday his candidacy for the 2016 presidential election, hoping to fare better than he did in his unsuccessful bid for the Republican nomination in 2012. Here’s what you need to know about Perry:
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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A report published Thursday by researchers at the University of Virginia has revealed that putting your head in your hands and quietly moaning is still the best known way of getting through the next several seconds.
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MOSCOW—Saying he can’t imagine beginning his day without the pages spread out on his kitchen table, Russian president Vladimir Putin told reporters Thursday that he starts off each morning by sitting down to write the day’s news.
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HAHAHAHA

Former KGB, supporter of Pravda and propaganda, writes 'news'.

OH. MY. BOB. I'm dying!!!

+Morticia Marina 
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In anticipation of the Supreme Court’s upcoming ruling on same-sex marriage, a Utah lawyer filed an amicus brief on behalf of 100 conservative “scholars of marriage” arguing that legalizing gay marriage will cause 900,000 abortions becau...
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Damn you, Onion! Got me again. 
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Bradford Bright

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WASHINGTON—Explaining that it was one of the most lucrative options available, a report published Tuesday by the National Education Association found that most for-profit colleges were started by people in an effort to pay off their own student debt.
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WHIPPANY, NJ—Touting the product’s ability to combat common seasonal and year-round allergens, pharmaceutical manufacturer Bayer introduced Wednesday its new Claritin flamethrower capable of incinerating whatever is causing one’s allergies.
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HOUSTON—Stating that any damage would be limited to just a handful of species that somehow managed to survive that long, officials from the Shell Oil Company assured the public Wednesday that most of the Arctic wildlife living near their proposed drilling site will be extinct well before their next oil spill.
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CHARLOTTE, NC—Thrilled at the prospect of having to constantly reposition himself while straining to hear the movie’s dialogue, local man Sam Weber was excited Friday to watch a barely audible outdoor screening of Back To The Future from atop a hard, knobby tree root, sources reported.
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LANGLEY, VA—Barely able to contain his elation over the previous night’s clandestine operation in the Middle East, CIA director John O.
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WASHINGTON—In a gesture of encouragement toward the millions of Americans struggling to find work in a difficult job market, the U.S.
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Have him in circles
608 people
Rachel Frost's profile photo
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