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The Awl

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Two is a mating and three is a threeway. Because four is a fourgy, you would think that five is logically an orgy, but no, five is two couples who keep forgetting about the creepy guy cranking it in the corner.
A quiet night in with some friends.
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The Awl

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REMEMBER WORDS?
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"I don’t want to apologize for who I am, a) because my brain makes me do that anyway, and it’s probably unhealthy for me to perceive that the universe is validating depression-y insecurities, but more importantly b) self-loathing white guys with persecution complexes are just noooooooo gasp stooooop. And I don’t want to have one! Being me should be, like, fine, and not anything to be upset about."
It's not an illusion, we're running the streets.
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Friends without gender!
Who's a monster now? Oh right, genitalia again.
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Using only the power of his mind and of his completed doctoral thesis, he commanded her, Dracula-style, into some filthy teacher's room. There was nothing she could do but marry him and then, for nine-ish months of torment, she carried me, their unholy intra-departmental fruit.
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Feelings are disgusting and bad.
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Yoko Ono's work was just the subject of a MoMA exhibition. Ono—out of all the female artists in the world being favored on those walls? And what a varied career—with her music, videos, her three marriages, her pricey bag of nails (exhibited in London when she first met Lennon). We can have an honest debate about her art; I’ll just speak as an artist—to me, her body of work looks slim. But we can’t debate about her position. Her Wiki says it all: “She is the widow and second wife of John Lennon and is also known as a multimedia artist, singer and peace activist.” The “is also known” is from the lips of Margo Channing, of Joe Mankiewicz writing words for Bette Davis; what you must know to understand, the first square on the board, is she was the wife of this famous man.
"With reference to the whole race of womanhood... was existence worth accepting, even to the happiest among them?" —Nathaniel Hawthorne, 1850
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This coming Wednesday, June 3rd, all Gawker Media employees—except foreigners, freelancers, two top manager-editors with whom the buck is said to stop, and of course the entire business side, because what would any of <i>them</i> know about how to conduct business or negotiate—will secretly vote on whether to join the WGA East and become a union shop. Because Gawker Media majority owner Nick Denton doesn't oppose the union at all—it appeals to his trouble-making streak, and he thinks it'll have interesting ripple effects towards places like Vice—the Gawker office hops directly from "hey let's have a union" to a majority-rule vote in under six weeks. Pretty wild stuff! It's the fastest thing anyone has ever done.
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Parents are designed to make you unhappy. It's FINE.
Are we worse than our parents as humans? SO WHAT.
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Girl you need to get your mind right.
Here it is! The letter that encapsulates the millennial age.
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What if he's truly the most spectacular person I will ever meet and may be okay with infidelity if it's part of that? Isn't this why people still stay with kooky painters or charismatic politicians or Warren Beatty?
Is the second time around just shoving your hand in a blender?
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PUT SOME GARBAGE IN YOUR LIVER-HOLE.
Someone's chugging a Four Loko right now.
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