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The Awl
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Be More Smarterer
Be More Smarterer

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Two is a mating and three is a threeway. Because four is a fourgy, you would think that five is logically an orgy, but no, five is two couples who keep forgetting about the creepy guy cranking it in the corner.

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Yoko Ono's work was just the subject of a MoMA exhibition. Ono—out of all the female artists in the world being favored on those walls? And what a varied career—with her music, videos, her three marriages, her pricey bag of nails (exhibited in London when she first met Lennon). We can have an honest debate about her art; I’ll just speak as an artist—to me, her body of work looks slim. But we can’t debate about her position. Her Wiki says it all: “She is the widow and second wife of John Lennon and is also known as a multimedia artist, singer and peace activist.” The “is also known” is from the lips of Margo Channing, of Joe Mankiewicz writing words for Bette Davis; what you must know to understand, the first square on the board, is she was the wife of this famous man.

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This coming Wednesday, June 3rd, all Gawker Media employees—except foreigners, freelancers, two top manager-editors with whom the buck is said to stop, and of course the entire business side, because what would any of <i>them</i> know about how to conduct business or negotiate—will secretly vote on whether to join the WGA East and become a union shop. Because Gawker Media majority owner Nick Denton doesn't oppose the union at all—it appeals to his trouble-making streak, and he thinks it'll have interesting ripple effects towards places like Vice—the Gawker office hops directly from "hey let's have a union" to a majority-rule vote in under six weeks. Pretty wild stuff! It's the fastest thing anyone has ever done.

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"I don’t want to apologize for who I am, a) because my brain makes me do that anyway, and it’s probably unhealthy for me to perceive that the universe is validating depression-y insecurities, but more importantly b) self-loathing white guys with persecution complexes are just noooooooo gasp stooooop. And I don’t want to have one! Being me should be, like, fine, and not anything to be upset about."

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Parents are designed to make you unhappy. It's FINE.

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Friends without gender!

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Girl you need to get your mind right.

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Using only the power of his mind and of his completed doctoral thesis, he commanded her, Dracula-style, into some filthy teacher's room. There was nothing she could do but marry him and then, for nine-ish months of torment, she carried me, their unholy intra-departmental fruit.

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What if he's truly the most spectacular person I will ever meet and may be okay with infidelity if it's part of that? Isn't this why people still stay with kooky painters or charismatic politicians or Warren Beatty?
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