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Keith Oppenheim
Works at University of Colorado at Colorado Springs
Attended Syracuse University
29 followers|33,636 views
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Keith Oppenheim

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Deer legs are fun.
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Keith Oppenheim

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I have been living in the North East for far too long when a third consecutive 90 degree day is a bit of a nuisance. 
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Keith Oppenheim

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When I moved to Lincoln NE you could not buy alcohol on Sunday in the city limits. One year later, Sunday sales were legal. When I moved to CT you could not buy alcohol on Sunday. Two years later, Sunday sales are legal! I expect that songs will be written about me kinda like Johnny Appleseed. If anyone can double my current salary I am willing to move to a dry county to rectify that insanity.
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Keith Oppenheim

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Freshly shaved (for the first time in a long, long time). My Blues playoff beard growing starts now. The further they advance the more scraggly and dirt hippy I will become. GO BLUES!
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Best line I heard on TV all week: "Damn, you're gonna be grounded 'till there is a white President"
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Survived one week of teaching summer school. Working 4 days a week rocks
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Have him in circles
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Keith Oppenheim

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Today is the day I give grades out for one of my classes. A small part of me is always worried I will be shot by a disgruntled student.
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Good thing you posted this 3 days ago or it would be wildly inappropriate. 
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Keith Oppenheim

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Jerry Sandusky found very (times 45) guilty of horrible acts. One less dirtbag off the streets.
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Bought tickets today to see Adam Carolla in Boston. The show is not until January 26th 2013. I am quite positive that I did not even plan my wedding that far in the future.
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Keith Oppenheim

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The Red Wings fans are shaving their beards tonight. The Blues are up 3-1 in their series so my beard appears to have some time to keep filling in (and getting itchier). GO BLUES!
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Kenny does that in a week

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Keith Oppenheim

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There was a clock malfunction in an NHL game yesterday. The best thing about it was this fantastic science quote by the winning team's GM:

"Those clocks are sophisticated instruments that calculate time by measuring electrical charges called coulombs -- given the rapidity and volume of electrons that move through the measuring device the calibrator must adjust at certain points which was the delay you see -- the delay is just recalibrating for the clock moving too quickly during the 10 - 10ths of a second before the delay -- this insures that the actual playing time during a period is exactly 20 minutes That is not an opinion -- that is science -- amazing devise quite frankly."
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Keith Oppenheim

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I cannot believe it is July 16th and I care about the score of a Pittsburgh Pirates vs Houston Astros game. What year is this? Did I accidentally take an Ambian and sleep till 2020?
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People
Have him in circles
29 people
Bruce Jones's profile photo
Adam Headlee's profile photo
Amy LaFountain's profile photo
Daniel K Pettit Jr's profile photo
Aimee Morey-Oppenheim's profile photo
Steve Mitchell's profile photo
Isaiah Smith's profile photo
Amanda Petrus's profile photo
Brad Wirth's profile photo
Work
Employment
  • University of Colorado at Colorado Springs
    Instructor, 2013 - present
  • University of Connecticut
    Assistant Professor, 2010 - 2013
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Story
Tagline
Lousy Saint Louis Cardinals can't win the '85 World Series on Classic Sports
Education
  • Syracuse University
    Physical Chemistry, 2005 - 2010
  • Missouri Southern State University
    Chemistry, 2003 - 2005
  • University of Nebraska–Lincoln
    History, 1996 - 2001
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Every time I have dropped off a Netflix disc at this post office it takes 2+ days to arrive in Denver. They only take 1 day from all other COS post offices. No clue why, but avoid if your mail is time sensitive.
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
1 review
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