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Keith Oppenheim
Works at University of Colorado at Colorado Springs
Attended Syracuse University
29 followers|33,589 views
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Keith Oppenheim

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Deer legs are fun.
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Keith Oppenheim

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I have been living in the North East for far too long when a third consecutive 90 degree day is a bit of a nuisance. 
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Keith Oppenheim

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When I moved to Lincoln NE you could not buy alcohol on Sunday in the city limits. One year later, Sunday sales were legal. When I moved to CT you could not buy alcohol on Sunday. Two years later, Sunday sales are legal! I expect that songs will be written about me kinda like Johnny Appleseed. If anyone can double my current salary I am willing to move to a dry county to rectify that insanity.
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Keith Oppenheim

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Freshly shaved (for the first time in a long, long time). My Blues playoff beard growing starts now. The further they advance the more scraggly and dirt hippy I will become. GO BLUES!
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Best line I heard on TV all week: "Damn, you're gonna be grounded 'till there is a white President"
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Survived one week of teaching summer school. Working 4 days a week rocks
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Keith Oppenheim

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Today is the day I give grades out for one of my classes. A small part of me is always worried I will be shot by a disgruntled student.
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Good thing you posted this 3 days ago or it would be wildly inappropriate. 
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Keith Oppenheim

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Jerry Sandusky found very (times 45) guilty of horrible acts. One less dirtbag off the streets.
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Bought tickets today to see Adam Carolla in Boston. The show is not until January 26th 2013. I am quite positive that I did not even plan my wedding that far in the future.
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Keith Oppenheim

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The Red Wings fans are shaving their beards tonight. The Blues are up 3-1 in their series so my beard appears to have some time to keep filling in (and getting itchier). GO BLUES!
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Kenny does that in a week

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Keith Oppenheim

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There was a clock malfunction in an NHL game yesterday. The best thing about it was this fantastic science quote by the winning team's GM:

"Those clocks are sophisticated instruments that calculate time by measuring electrical charges called coulombs -- given the rapidity and volume of electrons that move through the measuring device the calibrator must adjust at certain points which was the delay you see -- the delay is just recalibrating for the clock moving too quickly during the 10 - 10ths of a second before the delay -- this insures that the actual playing time during a period is exactly 20 minutes That is not an opinion -- that is science -- amazing devise quite frankly."
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Keith Oppenheim

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I cannot believe it is July 16th and I care about the score of a Pittsburgh Pirates vs Houston Astros game. What year is this? Did I accidentally take an Ambian and sleep till 2020?
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People
In his circles
34 people
Have him in circles
29 people
Daniel Pettit Jr's profile photo
Thomas Autry's profile photo
Jacqueline Page's profile photo
usman ashfaq's profile photo
Christie Anglin's profile photo
St. Louis Cardinals Fans's profile photo
Amanda Petrus's profile photo
Adam Headlee's profile photo
St. Louis Cardinals's profile photo
Work
Employment
  • University of Colorado at Colorado Springs
    Instructor, 2013 - present
  • University of Connecticut
    Assistant Professor, 2010 - 2013
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Story
Tagline
Lousy Saint Louis Cardinals can't win the '85 World Series on Classic Sports
Education
  • Syracuse University
    Physical Chemistry, 2005 - 2010
  • Missouri Southern State University
    Chemistry, 2003 - 2005
  • University of Nebraska–Lincoln
    History, 1996 - 2001
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Every time I have dropped off a Netflix disc at this post office it takes 2+ days to arrive in Denver. They only take 1 day from all other COS post offices. No clue why, but avoid if your mail is time sensitive.
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
1 review
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