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Brian Moloney
Works at The Freelance Retort
Attends freelanceretort.blogspot.com
Lives in New York State
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Brian Moloney

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If Today isn't working out, just wait until Tomorrow...right...?

#humor   #today   #tomorrow   #funny   #life   #humour  
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I’ve come to see, you have to consider life's disappointments and struggles as the cost of doing business.  So I just put it on my credit card and forget about it....


#humor   #life   #storms   #disappointment   #struggle   #funny   #positivity    #humour  
I mean, aside from my personal record of 1500 straight paddleball whacks back in 1978—what can I say...I was on a roll—I haven't had many ups that have lasted much past lunchtime. So I've come to see, you have to consider the disappointment and the struggle as the cost of doing business.
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Brian Moloney

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I'm pretty down on "That"...and, as you might expect, I have a lot to say about..."That"...that is.
Yeah...what's new about...well, you know....


#humor   #grammar   #that   #funny   #life   #humour  
I noticed it when I went back and re-edited some of my old manuscripts...I use “that”...way more than that deserves to be employed. In fact, in most cases, “that” isn't necessary at all. Unless it has its noun suit on. Then “that” is okay. That deserves a seat at the table.
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Brian Moloney

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I grew up reading comic books.
In fact I probably owe a great deal of my imagination to comic books. 
Which may or may not be a good thing.
But I like to think it is....

#humor   #comicbooks   #funny   #imagination   #life   #humour  
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Brian Moloney

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Z told me we lost an hour the other day and ever since I’ve been going nuts trying to find it.
Because, you know, I usually get blamed for these kinds of things....

#humor   #daylightsavingtime   #funny   #life   #humour  
Z suggested all I had to do was turn the clocks ahead to make up for the missing hour, and then I'd be back on schedule...or as close to schedule as I ever am. Yeah...nice try. Like that would work. Like I'm gonna go around resetting every clock in the world. Like I have time for that.
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Brian Moloney

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I don't "get" a lot of what passes these days as "modern culture". 
But then it occurred to me...I'm not supposed to....


#humor   #culture   #gettingold   #funny   #life   #humour  
I was born near the end of the Baby Boomer Generation; so much so that all the good picket signs were taken by the time I got my first tie-dye t-shirt...and born too early to even be considered anything close to a Generation X-er. But I did have an Atari. Yep, that's me: Born a day late and a ...
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Brian Moloney

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May is full of potential.
Some even call it the "merry" month of May.
Really?
May-be...may-be-not....

#humor   #May   #funny   #life   #humour  
Have you picked up my new book “The Kingdom of Keys”? No....what's up with that??? Better hurry before they're ALL GONE...which is a lie because they'll never be all gone...never.... So why not buy one just to reward my forthrightness..ness...ness? You might even enjoy it.
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Incongruity aside, The Zombies Across the Street really do enjoy spring, probably more than any of the other seasons. In fact, they can’t wait to get out there and start digging...which can be disconcerting...for obvious reasons....


#Humor   #zombies   #funny   #spring   #humour  
The Zombies across the street were out raking their lawn the other day—starting their spring cleanup—so I thought I'd amble over and see how they've been holding together...in more than the usual way you'd expect from the un-dead. They lost Grandpa Zombie a while back and since they're not used ...
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Brian Moloney

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The sagest advice I ever received was not to step in dog’s doo. 
So I tried my best to dog’s don’t on the doo...until I dog's did...and wished I dogs didn't....

#humor   #sage   #advice    #funny   #life   #humour  
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Brian Moloney

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Spring has sprung and Winter...well...Winter, we hardly knew ye....

#humor   #spring   #funny   #life   #humour  
Sure, with all its colorful blooms and promises of better days, most of us give Spring the benefit of the doubt...but there's a little of an “In Your Face” factor at play. And not just with Winter; no, Spring has been known to take on Summer, as well. It'll shoot temps into the 80's, ...
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Brian Moloney

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This is a column I wrote for my hometown newspaper this past Friday in regard to our local impending elections.  Insert the name of your own hometown and it might just apply to you, as well.

Or not....

#humor   #elections   #localpolitics   #funny   #humour  
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Brian Moloney

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I’m thinking about becoming a plus size model.
They’re all the rage these days.
Plus I can maintain my plus size.
Not a problem....

#humor   #plussize   #funny   #trends   #humour  
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Have him in circles
31 people
TIM MANNING's profile photo
RamaRao bobby's profile photo
audric adrienne's profile photo
Eileen Brown's profile photo
Patricia Shelley's profile photo
Joe Fatula's profile photo
Financial Advice for Children's profile photo
nicole coyle's profile photo
William Scanlon's profile photo
Work
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Freelance Writer
Employment
  • The Freelance Retort
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New York State
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The Freelance Retort - Something to Laugh About...sometimes
Introduction

My passion these days is writing silly stories for “The Freelance Retort”, the humor website I began in May of 2011 when the world was supposed to come to an end. It didn’t and now I’m stuck writing these things 2 or 3 times a week.  My passion before that was chocolate ice cream.

When I’m not doing this, I’m a freelance, corporate writer/director/ producer, which means—besides the many slashes—I create everything from promotional, instructional and training videos to interactive on line presentations for various corporation and health care companies. In that sense I guess you could say that I’m a “professional writer” since I do get paid to write, work from home and have lots of free time to myself. However, most of my friends and neighbors think I’m retired. Naturally, being a freelance writer who deals with the sometimes insanity of the corporate world from the safety of the creative fringe, my views will more often than not be tinged with cynicism, sarcasm and a fair share of self-deprecation. I hope you enjoy them in the spirit in which they are intended….

 
 
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  • freelanceretort.blogspot.com
    present
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Brian Moloney's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
The Ponderer
lyriclines-lettsy.blogspot.com

Picture by B Moloney In a peaceful NewYork Garden Brian sat there contemplating On how the benefits of exercise He oft found irritating Amid

Author Eyed
arhythmytic.blogspot.com

Grabbed my pages up in bundles Took it to this highbrow cat Who gave my stack a sidelong glance Declaring snobbishly ‘Old Hat’ "Well and goo

Humble Pie
arhythmytic.blogspot.com

Feet of Strength! When surveying my ability Crowning glorious facility I cannot help but wonder if it really is debility Immersed in my civi

BOOK REVIEW: The Kingdom of Keys - Lori Duff Writes
www.loriduffwrites.com

Couldn’t stop laughing, I so related to almost all of these scenarios. It was like Lori was relaying so many of the same thoughts I have had

Tales From The Teapot Spout (Part One)
lyriclines-lettsy.blogspot.com

Are you sipping quietly? High time we put the kettle on Hatter’s teaspoon sprinkled tea A rousing shrill from a whistling bill Screamed boil

US Tides
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Seven days tides tables and charts for more than 3000 US locations as provided by NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration). Di

Tip N Split Tip Calculator
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Calculate tip and split the bill with Tip N Split - the ultimate tip calculator! This tip calculator app not only calculates tip quickly and

The Freelance Retort by Brian Moloney
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Something To Laugh About…sometimes

The Freelance Retort: Not a Wrapper
freelanceretort.blogspot.com

In fact my gift wrapping efforts have been termed cute, at best, and distasteful at worst. What…I thought those dreidels were spinning tops…

The Freelance Retort: Bored
freelanceretort.blogspot.com

Hey, it's a Friday…what d'ya expect? Not to mention the Friday of the most boring week of the year. The "Let's just wrap this thing up and m