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Niki Cunningham
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To the delivery team....
To the team who delivered my son. Four years ago, my son was born. Just another day at work for you, but not just another day for me. I had everything ready. His crib, his room, his clothes. My bags were packed full of boys clothes to dress my new baby in. ...

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Hitting the Bottom
When you lose a baby no one tells you that the journey you are going to go on will never end.... You kind of expect to feel really bad for a few months, but then things will return to normal. Well, it has been almost three years since we said goodbye to our...

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A Rainbow Day...
Tomorrow, it is Florence's first birthday. I can't quite believe that my precious baby girl is going to be a one year old. I guess as she is still pretty tiny due to coming early she doesn't look like a one year old, but the fact is she is trying to walk an...

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Eating away at me.....
In this blog, I have touched on the impact of loss on parenting. These last few months have been tough for me as Florence is learning to eat by herself. Cue mother in a state of anxiety every meal time. Heart racing. Panic striken. Reliving nightmares... Wh...

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Darkest days...
One of the songs we played at Harry's funeral was "Everybody Hurts" by REM. An amazing song, that touches everyone who listens to it. I felt it was appropriate for Harry's funeral as it totally sums up dark feelings. Not everyone knows this, but for years I...

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Living with a broken heart
After listening to many love songs about unrequited love, or love that could never be - and seeing the true similarities in grief and relationships ending I have decided that grief can be compared to having a broken heart. People who know me, or have come t...

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Finding it harder and harder
People say time heals. Some people would expect you to be "over it" by now. Many don't understand how one can be so sad after losing someone you didn't "know"... Well here's the thing... Time doesn't "heal". You learn how to carry on functioning but it neve...
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