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Niki Cunningham
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Niki Cunningham

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Niki Cunningham

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Eating away at me.....
In this blog, I have touched on the impact of loss on parenting. These last few months have been tough for me as Florence is learning to eat by herself. Cue mother in a state of anxiety every meal time. Heart racing. Panic striken. Reliving nightmares... Wh...
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Niki Cunningham

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Living with a broken heart
After listening to many love songs about unrequited love, or love that could never be - and seeing the true similarities in grief and relationships ending I have decided that grief can be compared to having a broken heart. People who know me, or have come t...
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Niki Cunningham

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Unbreakable Bonds
Today I decided that my next counselling session will be my last. I feel funny about that as it has been a wonderful support to me since we lost Harry however I have been coping ok with the trauma side of things and the grief is now part of my life that I c...
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So this is Christmas....
Suddenly, it is Christmas Eve. A year has passed since we shared the news about our rainbow pregnancy, and a year has passed since the "first Christmas as a bereaved mother". At the beginning of the Christmas period I was busy after holding "Harry's Ball" a...
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Everybody's Changing but I Still Feel the Same
I can hardly believe it is soon time for the second annual Harry's Ball. It is insane that Harry would be coming up for 18 months next month. My beautiful rainbow baby is now four months and starting to be weaned. Time is passing by... Relationships are cha...
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Niki Cunningham

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Darkest days...
One of the songs we played at Harry's funeral was "Everybody Hurts" by REM. An amazing song, that touches everyone who listens to it. I felt it was appropriate for Harry's funeral as it totally sums up dark feelings. Not everyone knows this, but for years I...
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Finding it harder and harder
People say time heals. Some people would expect you to be "over it" by now. Many don't understand how one can be so sad after losing someone you didn't "know"... Well here's the thing... Time doesn't "heal". You learn how to carry on functioning but it neve...
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Coming Full Circle
Tomorrow we are getting our beautiful rainbow baby christened. I cannot wait. We have made lots of lovely plans, picked some lovely outfits, food and decorations for our little girl's special day. I am so excited to see everyone and to celebrate the wonderf...
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The pursuit of happiness...
What a nice month I have had! Not sure how often you will hear me say that!!! I last wrote in the weeks leading up to Harry's Ball and spoke about life being too short to be miserable. This last month that has absolutely been my focus. The Ball went amazing...
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The beginning of Harry
Today is Halloween. By the way I love Halloween. I make a huge deal of out it and for me now it's a bit of a distraction about what follows on 1st November. The 1st November 2011 I discovered I was expecting Harry. I will remember that day forever. I has ta...
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